THERAPY.
And I’m not talking about the physical kind.
I’m talking about bare your soul, get down and dirty, sort through and fold your nasty laundry….
THERAPY.
What is it about therapy that makes us religious folk, run to the hills? Fold our arms over our chest? Tense up and distance ourselves from the very thought that we may need it?
It’s pride.
Much like an ugly cry, there is an ugly pride and it is rampant amongst those in the church. Therapy is wonderful for people who have suffered a divorce, multiple miscarriages, loss of a spouse or an abusive childhood.
I’ll tell you who it’s NOT for.
It’s not for me. Your run of the mill, Judeo-Christian believing, blonde haired, high school cheerleading, never-done-drugs-before-in-my-life-out-of-fear-of-getting-caught-30 year old. No. It’s certainly not for me or any of my friends because we have our stuff together. Ducks in a row, pregnancies planned, 401K’s in tact and pretty little houses, lining Wisteria Lane. Besides the “hiccup” of losing my first pregnancy, I’m fine. Just fine. Perfect, actually.
Until the bottom falls out and you are left, holding a prefect Polaroid of what you thought was normal.
Life happens and you realize that you are actually more screwed up then you want to admit. Somehow dirt, filth and dysfunction {that you swore you would avoid} crept into the cracks in your mind and soul and the result is an imperfect person, trying to act settled.
But you aren’t.
I’m not.
And it took years of watching other people go to see a shrink and feeling sorry for them {how sad to have so many problems that you have to pay someone to listen! especially when you can pray your way out of it!!} for me to realize that I might just be the saddest case of all.
The person that lives the perfect life. Has no reason to be unhappy. Has everything together, for everyone else.
BUT. Dying on the inside.
So, sign me up.
I’ll pay by the hour.
Heck, give me a punch-card up and I’ll fill that sucker up.
If therapy is for the dogs, I’ll win BEST IN SHOW because I am one sick puppy.
Shiny, pretty and well groomed but oh so depraved and in need of a couch.
{ 60 comments… read them below or add one }
I like! Thank you. Dealing with “liFe on liFe’s terms” (that’s liFe spelt with a capital F). What *religious folk* need is a Big Fat wake-call… I hear you.
This made me laugh.
In a good way. With the “F” and all
Interesting, I can see why pride may be an issue. I’ve recently done the opposite and joined a church community in lieu of therapy (among other reasons!)
I recently joined a new church community as well and it has been such a wonderful and essential investment. However, sometimes, we (meaning I) need to realize that church is a establishment run by imperfect people and can’t be held responsible for fixing all of my (and everyone else’s) problems.
Absolutely, church is a great back bone is I continue the trial and error process of finding a good therapist, my currrent one is sweet, but not adequate and tough-talking enough. Keep up the good work, I’m in love with this blog, discovered it through laurenloves
thank you. it’s always with shame and embarrassment that i quietly whisper that i have a withstanding commitment on fridays at 6 every week hoping to avoid stares of disgust or distain at the word “therapy” or “counseling.” thank you for the reminder that therapy is hard. that therapy is humbling. that therapy is the most soul baring, gut wrenching thing one can do. you have helped give me courage to go another day.
Proud of you Brittany.
And remember…those that judge are in need of the biggest hug.
One of the best things about therapy for me is that my therapist feels no need to protect the franchise. What I mean is, she has no need to stick to the script of “God is in control.” “It’s all part of God’s plan.” “Everything happens for a reason.” etc, etc.
Sometimes there is such a relief in someone just saying “Yes. That really sucks. I’m sorry that happened to you.”
“no need to protect the franchise”……..bazinga!
I’ve often wondered why often times Christians have this need to defend God out of their own shame, fear and insecurities! It gives the rest of us the feeling that God couldn’t possibly handle our own shame, fear and insecurites. Which, of course, He TOTALLy can!
Yep. Sometimes all I want it for someone to go “off script” and say something like, “SAY WHAAA? That is ridiculous!”
It makes me feel more normal.
I think it has a lot to do with, well, pride for one, because we always want to have an “answer” for people. But, the engrained idea that we must ALWAYS point people to Jesus, and so often, as we are broken and fallen people, we really suck at it, on our own……
If we’d allow Him to have His way with us, if we knew Him well and deeply, we would be so comfortable with the Truth that He can take care of us all and doesn’t blink at the thought of our brokenness, our humanity, our fallenness, because He redeemed it ALL……we’d be better off being human with those in our lives than acting like, as the author said, “we are settled”, because we aren’t…..not even a little bit.
If the reward for my brokenness, my humanity and my fallenness is Jesus…..BRING IT! He’s the only One who has been able to free me from the chains that bind. And I ache for the day He allows me to be the vessel He uses in another broken persons’ life…..totally off script and in complete abandon to Him!
I’ve discovered that writing, without having to sanitize my feelings for fear of upsetting anyone (like I do on facebook) has helped tremendously. So I think my blog is my leather couch! Only my two closest friends and husband are allowed to read it. I wrote a letter to my husband about two months ago, because I thought it was important he know how my beliefs are changing through all the junk that has occurred recently in my life (at the hands of Christians, no less.) I didn’t want him to wake up in 10 years and not know who he was married to! So, I started blogging, and discovered that it really helps me work through these emotions. I know it’s not the same as therapy or counseling, but so far, it’s helping, and it’s opened up communication with my hubby.
The stuff I’m unable to share with everyone – my doubts, my questions, my realizations that what I’ve believed for so long I don’t really believe anymore – has really shown me that I had God in this little box. Everyone’s world was OK as long as these rules were followed and this is what a “real” Christians believes and says. But my box exploded, and God got bigger. And it’s OK now that I don’t have all the answers, and that long-held beliefs are being questioned, because He’s big enough to handle my doubts. And that’s really all that matters.
And can I just say again how awesome it is I found A Deeper Story? I love that you can talk about therapy and pride and dysfunction and question things, and it’s OK!
“If therapy is for the dogs, I’ll win BEST IN SHOW because I am one sick puppy.” I think it’s a tie. Hope you don’t mind sharing your trophy with me!
Georgi, I love your second paragraph! I’m in the same place. At age 35, I’m figuring out that I don’t really believe a lot of traditions, rules and religious rhetoric I’ve so stubbornly held on to my whole life. And that God is so much more than I ever believed Him to be. I love coming across people who are finding freedom in Christ…sounds like that’s where you are. So exciting!
This is beautiful-”God got bigger”.
Because honestly…when we choose to stop investigating and learning about ourselves, we stunt our spiritual growth. Part of growing is discovering our faults and dysfunction.
when diagnosed with anorexia at age 35, i balked when my doctor suggested counseling. i.was.terrified. and i thought that christians shouldn’t NEED counseling. direct line to god and all that. but i needed major help. and so i went. thought i would have a stroke at the first visit i was so scared! it turned out to be a tremendous help in so many areas of my life – marriage not the least of these. i believe that god orchestarted the experience to bring me closer to the person he wants me to be. and i am not ashamed to let people know that i was in counseling for five years – i even pass offer up my therapist’s phone number because i want people to get better. great post.
I love your confidence Kendal.
You are able to admit that, *SURPRISE*….we are all broken. In need to help.
Thank you.
LOVE. IT! Thank you for this post!! So many people, including myself, wait until it’s {almost} too late to seek help. I wish I hadn’t waited so long. Good for you for bringing to light the fact that {especially} Christians think it’s a sign of weakness. Not true! Counseling is a huge part of what saved my marriage. Love this post and will share!
Beautifully done, Rachel . . . I feel like I could’ve written this post, the similarity of story is uncanny.
Love.
Welcome to the “I’m too perfect for therapy” club.
Oh, I’m already CEO.
I absolutely connected with this post. Thank you. For years, I was the person you described. It wasn’t until I was on a run, listening to a podcast from our local Pastor talking about grace that I realized how broken I am and continue to be. Thank God for grace.
You are so welcome, Phil.
Thank you for sharing.
Couldn’t agree with you more – Christian or not, I think pride inhibits many of us from really digging deep and acknowledging we are broken inside. I know for me, I needed a third party to help me find my way out of my depression – I have no doubt God matched me up with the right therapist to help me start to find healing and joy in my life. Only after I was “out of the trenches” of my depression was I able to fully embrace my church and my faith. I am so grateful to God, my therapist AND my church.
There are no accidents and the Lord knew exactly what you needed, at what time you needed it.
Therapy was needed to bring you even closer to Him-THAT is the Lords providential hand.
Awesome.
That’s right-Praise the Lord for showing us….
A-freaking-men, Rachel! I wanted to stand up and clap at your “best in show” comment. Woof!
I praise God every day for the therapist/co-conspirator who walked with me into greater freedom and understanding about who I am (and who I am not.) I am not the sum of sins I’ve done or sins done against me.
How powerful it is to share a secret and watch its killing power recede. The old stories and often-rehearsed explanations can be replaced with truth. Goodbye to lies.
And the best part? Realizing that my feelings and responses to pain were NORMAL. Perhaps they were not God-honoring responses, but I’m not as freakishly broken as I believed — because God was always at work, his Grace was there. My therapist helped me see that. I can now look back and see the God of Life moving through the most painful parts of my story.
Systemic Therapy: best thing I ever did for myself, my marriage, my other relationships. But all therapists are not created equal. Bad therapy (like bad art or bad religion) is at best irrelevant and at worst harmful. Been there, done that.
I wish that more people within the church would see therapy for what it is: a tool, a resource. It’s not an admission of failure. We tend to stop here: “I AM BROKEN AND SICK,” but there is so much more to our stories. It doesn’t end there. . . and that’s what I love about therapy work. . . the leaning into the rest of the story.
Therapy has taught me to accept my own story and to better “sit with” the stories of others.
Thanks for sharing this.
“Sit with”-dead on.
I’m hoping that therapy will also give me WAY more grace and see that others, much like myself, are hurting, in pain and have a story all their own.
Thank you for mentioning that ‘not all therapists are created equal.’ As a counselling psychotherapist myself (for children!) I have experienced A LOT of therapy and – guess what – the therapist that ended up hurting me was a Christian, through a Christian counselling service. A lot of unethical practices going on, people not really trained very well but hey, they’re Christian, so it’s got to be good, right? Wrong. Do your research, check the person’s training / licence (ask for certificates if need be, don’t be too intimidated to ask) and if someone isn’t a good fit for you, don’t go back. Danger signs include any hint that the therapist is trying to control, coerce or otherwise manipulate you, on any level whatsoever. Misrepresentation of themselves or their practice is another red flag.
I know there are great Christian counsellors out there, but don’t accept sub-standard therapy just because they’re Christian, that’s all I’m saying
how do you vet therapists? we are in the market for a christian marriage counselor, but i’ve heard the horror stories, too. the truth is, budgeting for it (even on a sliding scale) is gonna be reaalllly tight, so i want it to be worth the time and money and finding childcare…
I tell people to start with word of mouth recommendations. Then call to set up an appointment but also gauge the therapist during that initial conversation on the phone. You’ll have a good sense just in talking through by phone what they can offer and if it’ll be a good fit. Sometimes therapists will offer a reduced rate for the first visit, especially if it’s a get acquainted visit. It doesn’t hurt to ask! And if you’re at the first session and it’s not working, then there’s no reason you have to go back again. I know this sounds like a big process but it’s worth it.
Oh, oh, this is SO important! First quality to look for in a therapist – excellence at what they do. Second quality – an openness to the spiritual life. I have seen some terrible things done by Christian therapists. Yes, there are LOTS of great ones out there, but please don’t make it the one, singularly important criteria for selecting the person you will do this work with. Ask someone you trust (I was lucky enough to have a good friend, a deeply Christian friend, who was a psychotherapist) for a list of at least 3 names. Then meet with each and see where the best fit/match/vibe is. Pray your own way through and then do the work. It is the best investment you can make in yourself, your relationships, your faith. And it is work – hard work, but good work. The more you know and understand yourself, the more fully open you become to God and God’s work within. Doing good self-work is not the same thing as self-centeredness, it is not selfish. Thank you so much for this excellent writing, Rachel – this is a truth more people need to hear and grapple with. I would add to your recommendation the presence of a spiritual director, especially if you are in a place of seeking discernment for a major life decision of any kind or if you are wanting to deepen your own prayer life. It is so helpful to have another voice and another person’s spiritual radar as you move down the path. This is really important stuff you’re saying here – thanks so much.
Agnes-100% agree. It’s not something that can just be jumped into. It must be researched.
Amen to this. I swear by therapy. You can’t keep humanness out by being good; it seeps in from the center of you. Best thing I ever did, and God knows I need more of it.
I’m going to be needing it indefinitely.
I love this post. almost beyond what words can express. therapy is so healing in so many ways. as a society (as a whole) we support and shun those who seek help “outside” of themselves and the church. as christians we judge those who are willing to stand up and say ” I am broken and seek help”.that part kind of sucks. therapy in any form is a great thing.
we must continue to evaluate ourselves and to get feedback from an “outsider”on occasion. Therapy saved my life. It saved my friendship with my future husband and I have no doubt it will continue to play a huge part in my life.
Everyone needs a sounding board and someone to turn to and “dump it all on” without fear of being judged and what a wonderfully freeing moment that is!!
Hope you are getting what you need.
loves
Yes, friend. We all need that sounding board. I’m so grateful.
I grew up in an environment where admitting you needed help, let alone that you didn’t have it all together, was proof that you were weak & vulnerable.
I didn’t realize until I was in over my head, but weak and vulnerable… is human.
Therapy was one of the best things I ever did, and where God really worked through those cracks where I thought I was broken.
Oh, I understand this. I so know where you are coming from.
I was married once before, so I sought out therapy. When you go through something as emotional and heartbreaking as divorce I find therapy as an important aspect of the healing process. I went for a while and when I found myself in a “good place” I thought I was “cured”, so I stopped going. I met someone, we got married, emotions started to resurface, and new struggles started to arise. I knew we needed therapy, otherwise we would be headed down the same path I had been down before and I didn’t want that for our life. I was ashamed at first to tell anyone that we were seeking counseling. I mean aren’t newly married couples supposed to be blissfully happy with one another. Thankfully we worked through our struggles and became better for them, together and individually, but I knew something was not quite right with me. I quickly realized that I was not “cured” and needed therapy for myself. It’s been a little over 3 years now that I have continued to go. Sometimes I go often, sometimes I go months without. I love it. I love that my therapist has no bias, no agenda. She gives me an outside perspective on what is taking place inside my life. I am no longer ashamed because I have seen the goodness that comes from sitting on my therapists comfy sofa. Whenever someone is struggling or looking for guidance I’m quick to recommend therapy. Honestly, I believe everyone could use it.
Wow, Adrian-”I never knew”….
But thank you so much for sharing this with me.
And yes-I’m pretty sure there isn’t a soul out there that wouldn’t benefit.
Totally healthy. Totally good. Totally a positive thing.
Loved the humor and the writing and the honesty of this piece. Thanks for sharing it and helping lift the negative stigma in our religious circles.
Thank YOU.
I’ll keep poking fun until the stigma is gone {read: I’ll be doing this for a long time}.
Our church has a counselor on staff, and we are perfectly willing to recommend therapy when needed.
However,
I find that therapy is not as effective in most situations where people are hurting as the church simply loving, caring, and sharing the burden the way the church is supposed to. We encourage therapy when what someone needs is accountability, transparency, forgiveness, compassion, etc.
I agree to an extent.
The saddest part to me is that many churches are not equipped or don’t have people willing to accept broken, dirty and terrified people. There is a reason that people are so scared to be open and vulnerable. Because of the inevitable backlash.
Agree. The problem is the church has burnt people often in the past, and that makes it difficult for it to do its job in the future.
Going to therapy was one of the best decisions I ever made! After going through depression and suicidality in junior high, I think my parents really didn’t know what to make of me and were just relieved that I no longer wanted to kill myself (they didn’t know I felt that way until after the fact.) But what they didn’t realize, nor did I, is that depression leaves its marks and I didn’t know how to healthily cope with life’s ups and downs. I had horrible self-esteem and was passive-aggressive in relationships. After my freshman year of college, I knew that I had to get help and so I told my parents what I needed. It really made all the difference in the world. Faith brought me far but I needed a counselor to help me unpack my unhealthy thoughts and tendencies so that I could move toward wholeness.
YES.
I’m so using that-”needed help unpacking”.
Love the truth & humor in this post. I have been a long time therapy patient but just began to think about my own difficulties with pride & authenticity. After all, who am I helping, by pretending I’ve got it all together? What freedom, humility & healing I could experience by allowing others to know my struggles . . . by letting others to see my flaws . . . by sharing how I regularly wrestle with God and have difficulty understanding His wisdom. Wouldn’t He receive more glory in that that the perfection I attempt to portray? . . . hoping to someday have the courage . . .
It sounds like you are on an amazing journey and learning so much-and yes. The Lord will use you even more when you open up. Authenticity will always be used. Always.
no leather couch here… i have my favorite chair:) i’ve claimed it and its mine and my counsellor knows it:) i’ve been in therapy for years. it saved my life. my first session there i sat. in front of a MAN. that made me even ANGRIER. but i sat there. for 55 minutes. i was dressed in cut offs, a white tshirt, a baseball cap, and flipflops. i had a hanky. yes, a hanky. i collect the old fashioned kind that ladies used to carry in their purses or stuck up their sleeve. so there i sat. folding and unfolding that hanky. the tears streamed down my face for 55 minutes. and i kept folding and unfolding. and the MAN waited; patiently. i finally said “i can’t.” at the end of the 55 minutes the MAN gave me a paper with my next appointment. i never looked at him but i took the paper. as i walked out the door i heard him say “take care of you.” and so began my relationship with mabry.
he can always find me in MY CHAIR. knowing i dare anyone to be sitting in it when i show up to wait my turn in this quiet building with so many others not looking at each other pretending we aren’t there and we don’t know each other or have i seen you somewhere before. at the time i was not “Godless” but “churchless.” it seemed i cried out constantly for God to help me and i know he did. he lead me to mabry. the “MAN” thing was my anger of having to spill my guts out to a MAN after being ruined by one. but this man, mabry, put me back together.
these days, with a church home and family, knowing hospitals are for sick people just like churches are for sinners, i never hesitate to call and make an appointment when i know i need to talk. and i am a talker. going to church, prayer, screaming for God’s help, praying silently as i lay my head down at night, has nothing to do with needing therapy. there is a place for both. and they work well together. i’m not the least bit shy about announcing my life to anyone. i got over that a long time ago. but there are those out there, amongst us christians, who like to whisper “did you know…,” and will volunteer for every church function only to show their true colors should you come thru the wrong door or sign up late. and “yes, i did know… because it was me you were talking about.”
i will be seeing mabry this coming tuesday. i called and left a voicemail and as is the norm he called me back. but this time i handed the phone to my husband because i just couldn’t explain myself. i recognize my need for therapy and trust its purpose. fortunately i trust mabry, his beliefs, he is a retired pastor, and he’s old. i love him and i don’t know what will happen to me if he leaves this earth before i do. my husband and i have also been to mabry for marriage counselling. there were times when i sent my husband to speak to mabry alone. trust. opening my heart and baring my soul has been the best medicine, well, next to laughing. but i need therapy just as i need God in my life. between God, my husband, and mabry, i believe i have what it takes to survive this world.
father’s day evening i fell apart. i had not slept in 2 days. i had to prepare a feast for father’s day. this year it was being celebrated at my home and i had too much to do. i was fine until everyone left. my dear sweet husband in his own way of insisting i do something got me ready and into bed so i could finally sleep and he would look after our son. but it didn’t go so well. i have a phobia that can’t be simply named. its complicated and i have hidden it for so many years but i finally had to say it. i was in pure terror. as i lay there in our bed with my husband sitting beside me, cooing and petting as you would a child, silently i cried for fear of alarming our 5yo. i fidgeted, i couldn’t keep my fingers still and my eyes were darting here and there, and all the while i just wanted to disappear. finally my husband found what to say to make me forget long enough that i could think of something besides my biggest fear. our son’s birthday is the 4th of july. and that is all i remember until i awoke the next morning.
this week that has followed father’s day has been a very lazy week for me. i announced to my husband that he was not to expect too much out of me because i knew i wouldn’t be able to cope with any particular requests; whether it had to do with my new found fondness for menu planning, couponing, or simply doing the laundry. he had no objections. but he also knew that even if he did it wouldn’t do him any good. i have learned to pace myself after a “fall.” i have to get up slowly.
i look forward to seeing mabry. i’m tired of hiding this ridiculous phobia that has followed me all of my life. i’m not going to kid myself into thinking by giving this phobia a name that it will ease my mind because i know it won’t. my God has kept up with it as much as i have and has seen me thru all of the episodes. yet, now, after trying to explain the entricasies (did i spell that right?) of my impairment to my husband, who only knew of the simple “did you unplug the toaster” as we pull out of the driveway, i know i have another long haul ahead of me.
i suppose i have realized that now is the time to face it. i can’t keep doing what i have always done to cover it up. i was almost out of control and it isn’t fair to my husband and son to pretend everything is ok when it isn’t. i fear the next time my husband won’t be able to find the right words to ease my mind. the next time he may not even be with me.
i’m scared. God knows i am. and if someone thinks i’m crazy for seeing a therapist then that’s their problem. and i’m quite sure that same person probably wishes they had the guts to step up to the plate and admit their fears.
hi. my name is kay. i’m a christian. and i see a therapist. regularly:)
Hi Kay.
I’m a Christian and I’m messed up too.
Nice to meet you.
Oh God.. your story made me cry from the first paragraph. Bless you Kay. When brought into the light, things that are hidden in darkness do indeed lose some of their power. I pray that happens for you.
My mom’s best friend from high school believes everyone could benefit from a little therapy. I mean, think about it. You can sort through your life and talk to someone and get it all off your chest and not worry that they’ll spit back at you some answer or some angry remark. You feel freer and maybe a little bit less stressed, if you’re lucky. I can’t say therapy was my favorite time in life, but I used to leave there feeling like I could get through the next week.
Hi everyone
I’d just like to say WOW! and thank you for all the brave honest words you have all written here. I’m a therapist (and a client as and when I feel it neccessary) I’m a Christian, but when it comes to my clients I’m a therapist FIRST.
That may cause a sense of SHOCK SHOCK HORROR! for some people, so let me explain what I mean. In my role as therapist, my professional and ethical duty ( which is, afterall, what people are paying their hard earned cash for) is to help clients explore those issues that are causing them difficulty and/or distress…. to help them gain insight and develop a better understanding of themselves. Every single thing we feel, think, say, do etc has an underlying reason and sometimes we’re unaware of the reason.
One of the things I ALWAYS ask for, in prayer, is guidance in my client work. My Jesus is ALWAYS with me, so for each and every new client I meet, He’s there, in the room with us…. Always. I trust Him completely to guide that I offer the best possible relational experience to my fellow “broken” human beings. His compassion and unconditional love for us is limitless. If I offer my clients those same conditions, of never juding and being compassionate to their needs, I believe they have the best chance of beginning to open up to and about themselves.
As therapists it is an essential, sometimes hard but always beneficial (to me) part of our practice that we undertake our own therapy from time to time. We are ALL on an ever changing journey through life and as such, we can all benefit from knowing ourselves better. There is no shame in that, it’s a GOOD thing to do. As someone has already pointed out, we need to be open to self exploration, and (sometimes) change, in order that we can grow. Growth is healthy, natural. To stay static, unchanged can be stiffling, oppresive even. But we can only know this by becoming more self aware and ONE of the ways we can do this is by engaging in the theraputic process. For those of us who have held onto things for years, kept harrowing secrets that threaten to choke us with the need to be shared, externalized, therapy can facillitate our being able to say it out loud, put it into words or pictures etc Finally get it outside of us, so that we can begin the process of healing our very soul. Remember that most “stuff” that causes us stress or anxiety has phyical implications as well as psychological ones and symptoms of both can be relieved or minimised by getting that “stuff” outside of our body and mind. Not just talking therapies either; it can be done through writing, drawing, sand, clay and other media, to name but a few. All have their place because we are all unique human beings.
What I’m trying to say is that, in my experience, the truth will indeed set you free; truth about ourselves and how and why we respond/react/live as we do. So in terms of therapy clashing with faith, it doesn’t have to. In my experience they compliment each other, even when we are unaware of it. I believe that all true healing comes from God, and He’s a genius in the various ways he chooses to make that healing available to us. Therapy is just one of the ways. The older I get, the more I know myself (good and not so good). My relationship with Jesus has deepened and changed with each passing year and I’m able to leave more and more of my “stuff” in his hands. I trust him, . He’s the only thing that NEVER changes. When I feel I need to engage in therapy, I trust that it’s because he’s forever guiding me in my journey through this life.
Sorry for the long post!
God bless
Take care of yourselves & each other
Rosie
I’m a therapist, too, and I love to treat clients like yourself who have so much self-insight and know that they need therapy.
I also have been in therapy for years (I’m not presently in treatment) – my first therapist was a Christian MINISTER, a woman I felt very close to and trusted, and she raked me over the psycho-coals, let me tell you. The most wonderful therapist I had was Jewish, and I felt closer to her very deep sense of spirituality than I did with the Christian minister/therapist.
I admire you very much for being courageous enough to write that Christians sometimes (maybe often?) need therapy.
Thanks for your honesty in this post. There is absolutely no shame in going for help. I too am a Therapist…and have also been in therapy. As a therapist I always say that I see some of the most beautiful, godly people in my office…people with integrity, who refuse to fake it, who are willing to be real. Sacred ground…
I’ve appreciated the writings of other ‘healers’ ‘therapists’ ‘ministers’ who are real and who recognize that it is not our own perfect-ness that is going to bring about change in another but rather it is the Perfect Lover in me that works about change in others through me. I think of Henri Nouwen, Mike Yaconelli, Philip Yancey, Dan Allender…to name a few.
I also love how real the Hebrews 11 ‘Hall of Famers’ are with God and with others…Jeremiah, Jonah, David…
haha, I”m beginning to sound like I’ve read the Velveteen Rabbit one too many times but you know what I”m saying.
Thanks for being real…and giving others an opening to be the same…
The person that lives the perfect life is deceiving him or herself as only Christ is capable of perfection. My non-believing therapist was an answer to my desperate prayers saving me and my family from me.
Love this! It made me want to cheer at the end. I’m going to let my charismatic roots loose here, sister. Well done, you!
Oh I loved this post so much!it’s true, beautiful and just real! I’ve been trying to discuss the benefits of therapy with some of my friends.And through the discussions I’ve realized that there is a certain stigma attached to it.One friend even said we don’t need therapy,prayer is the only way!and some say why would you pay someone to just listen to your problems.All great sounding arguments, but when you listen closely, you’re so right!it is just pride standing in the way.