We forged up the hill quickly, our conversation impeded by my labored breathing. We were climbing too fast but I’m not one to slow down. I go until I have to stop, then I go again harder this time, pushing my limits.
Push hard. Stop. Breathe. Push hard. Stop. Breathe.
As we hiked today I realized this pattern isn’t just how I tackle a mountain ridge but how I live my life. I keep an unsustainable pace until I am forced to succumb to my body’s undeniable need for respite.
Even as a child I saw hints of my crazy cycle emerging, but over the last few years, the ebbs and the flows have escalated dramatically.
With three jobs in three years, a move to California and back, eight international trips and dozens of domestic trips, and a role in launching this IF:Gathering thing, I’ve run and collapsed, run and collapsed, run and collapsed.
Push hard. Stop. Breathe.
These days I cannot seem to go hard enough. The once invigorating hustle now feels weighty and burdensome.
These days I can’t seem catch my breath. The once restful pause now feel restless and futile.
These days I feel weary and overwhelmed. I obviously need to find a new, more sustainable, way of living my life.
Maybe it’s time to find out if slow and steady does in fact win the race?