what grieves me most is the thought of not seeking the truth, and please understand, that’s all i’m striving for. i’m not trying to be political or controversial or anti-cultural.
i’ve realized recently, since having more and more disordered eaters and their families asking me how i recovered, and wanting a set answer, that i have no answers. no, all i have is Jesus.
so i tell you this, in the hopes that you’ll have grace. when i tell you that i’m not sure we’re on the right track with our approach to feminism.
at a recent conference, i had the privilege of speaking with two beautiful girls who fight human trafficking in india, who give jobs to women so they don’t have to sell their bodies. and when i asked what the women’s husbands do, they said they sit at home and drink, or sit on the beach and drink, and when their wives come home, they beat them if they haven’t made any money. and this is the way in much of india, they said. women have to do everything. men do nothing. except beat their women.
and my first thought was, we have it so good in north america.
and i think it might be time to re-evaluate the female role and what it means to be a woman and to work on embracing our uniqueness instead of fighting for equality.
i know. that’s where i lost a bunch of you. but the thing is, many of us have men that want to work and support our families, who give us the freedom to stay at home and care for our children, and even if we have to work because their paycheck doesn’t cover the bills, it’s still a team effort. it’s rare that you’ll find a man in america sitting on the beach while his wife raises the children and works full-time.
now, i know, there are exceptions to the rule, but for those of us who have good, upstanding partners who long to serve the Lord by providing for their families, perhaps it’s time we let them. perhaps it’s time we focused on re-visiting what God meant when he said he made us male and female (not gender-neutral and gender-neutral) and that it.was.good.
i understand why women have risen up and fought. for awhile, we didn’t have rooms of our own. we couldn’t vote, we couldn’t speak and not be laughed at, we couldn’t work outside the home… we couldn’t, and we fought, and we won, and now we can. and i think this is good.
the other day trent and i were walking home from church and he said he wasn’t sure what to think about female pastors–about women serving as ministers–and i said, “well, if men would just rise up and do a good job, women wouldn’t have to step in and do it for them,” and sometimes we as females are forced to fill the typical-male role.
but not always. our job is to examine the qualities we’ve been given, the natural gifts we’ve been assigned, and even the body we’ve been allotted, and to ask God what it looks like to be a woman. and how to help our men rise up to their full potential so that we don’t feel compelled to take over.
women, i believe in us.
and i say this, in spite of knowing that many couples these days aren’t even telling their children whether they’re female or male, because they believe that’s a choice their child should make.
i say it in spite of meeting a trans-gender person at the National Eating Disorders conference this past weekend, a person who became anorexic when she realized she was a man with female parts, and who stopped starving herself when she got the surgery done and became fully man–the person she/he believes she/he was meant to be.
i say it, even when i don’t really know what it means. but i want to. i want to know what my role as a female in the church looks like, and i want to help my boys know who they are, and one day maybe, my daughter too, if God gives me one.
because we’ve been given the whole garden of eden. let’s not eat, then, from that one forbidden tree.
*due to the sensitive nature of this blog post, and the varied response in the comments, i will be following up this post with another… thank you for grace, friends, as we all learn and, and PLEASE NOTE: i am not knocking female pastors. i’m just challenging us as females–are we helping our men to fill their roles, while developing ours?
also, i was not trying to use the plight of the women in India to eradicate the issues at home: rather, to help expand our borders and see the bigger picture. as i will state in my follow-up post, i am a BIG ADVOCATE for women in general, whether here, or overseas, but i’m being challenged by God to breathe new life into my husband and the men in my life as i’ve stepped on them over the years.
i will admit, i’ve cried a lot today, reading through these comments, but am grateful that we can have this discussion.*
**i wanted to let you guys know that i’ve responded to this discussion here. thank you for grace and love. i’ve learned so much from all of you.**