Innocent until proven guilty is a crazy idea.
As Westerners we are born into this way of thinking, we grow up in this and we cry that our rights have been taken when anything less occurs. But I believe it goes against the fiber of our beings.
It’s a crazy idea because our hearts innately stretch toward judging each other before we have heard all of the facts, before we get to know someone, and before we ask them to tell their story. We create subliminal black-lists and whisper
“Nothing she could say would change what I think of her.”
We don’t let people rise from their mistakes and we don’t take their phone calls after they’ve wounded us. We take part in guilty-until-proven-innocent behavior every day of our lives and we have to actively fight against our own critical spirits and judgmental hearts.
I love the Ann Voskamp and Tim Challies story from a few weeks ago: the one where he beat up her book on his blog and she sent him an email to invite him to dinner. That one.
I love how it turned out. He, in essence, called her heretical and she, grace embodied that she is, showed extreme mercy in return. Radical forgiveness. Drastic love.
{And to be a fly on the wall at that dinner, whenever it may be, would be worth gold}.
I can’t think that when Jesus tells the disciples in John that by this, meaning love {the newest commandment} the world will know that we are disciples of Christ he meant anything different than just that. The only way that we would distinguish ourselves from the rest of the world would be by our love for one another.
“A new command I give you: Love one another.As I have loved you, so you must love one another.By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.”
John 13:34-35
Truth is vitally important, but he didn’t say by TRUTH we will be known as disciples. Grace is amazing, but he didn’t even say by GRACE we would be identified as his. Or faith. Or endurance. He said by LOVE you will be known as belonging to Jesus.
One thing that love does is that it assumes the best of one another.
Challies apologized and restated a few things regarding his original review of 1000 Gifts, but love wasn’t his first reaction.
The problem is, whether we agree with Challies or not, we have all done this. We assume the worst. We read something, see something, hear something and immediately judge. We instantaneously categorize a person based on a blog post, a political statement or a Facebook update. We, like Challies, jump to conclusions based on a chapter in a book.
We assume the worst and we pronounce someone guilty with the authority of a Supreme Court Justice.
Love doesn’t do that. And IF, IF, IF Jesus really meant what He said {that we should be identified by our love for each other} then we must assume the best.
{Love hopes, love believes…}
I think it even goes beyond innocent-until-proven-guilty. Jesus didn’t come to earth to prove us guilty. He came to prove us
Forgiven
Loved
Chosen.
Assuming the best of each other is part of this. When we assume the worst of each other, we break one another down like ocean waves disintegrate the shore. When we assume the best, we get to take part in building up the Kingdom of God in each other.
Do you assume the best of one another? What gets in the way of this for you? Is it easier for you {like it is for me} to pronounce someone guilty-before-innocent?
I wrote about something similar yesterday (insert shameless plug here: http://carriethinkstoomuch.blogspot.com/2012/06/like-child.html). I find that my first reaction is a judgmental one. Love and mercy rarely come first. They may come eventually, but they’re never first. I crave to be different.
me too.
love should come first, shouldn’t it?? thank you for your comment, Carrie. =)
Assuming the best of someone’s behavior requires assuming the best of their motives. This is because the motives count more than the actual behavior (Jesus said that if you even think lustfully about another person you’re not married to, you have already committed adultery). The behavior is the end product of a thought process. This can be easy to do for some things such as when an acquaintance is scowling, one can easily assume that person is having a bad day. However, if someone uses biting sarcasm in a remark, it is much more difficult to assume the best. Biting sarcasm is offensive and hurtful. We can assume this person is having a bad day, but there is still hurt. My pastor taught me that it is important to acknowledge the hurt because shoving it under the rug can lead to bitterness. Perhaps we need to add the following to our formula for assuming the best:
Proverbs 19:11 (NLT)- Sensible people control their temper; they earn respect by overlooking wrongs.
In other words, forgive the hurt, then move one.
Once again, very well said. Thanks Sarah!
thank you Donna!!
“We instantaneously categorize a person based on a blog post, a political statement or a Facebook update.” Oh how true that is! I would hate to be judged by one moment in time. Why then am I tempted to do that to others? I know myself well and I know that I’ve gone through this thought process, that belief that I no longer hold onto, and because I know how much and how often I change as I churn things through my mind and life, and how much I’ve been through, THAT is what helps me when I start to judge anybody: a good sturdy STARE in the mirror. Because I know me.
so true! it’s hard not to judge others. so hard.
thank you for the honest comment, brianne. we are all right there with you =)
What beauty lies in these lines of love. Thank you. Yes, I want to transformed and changed to the place where my VERY FIRST reaction is one of Love. Thank you for taking me to the place of possibility. I long for Him to mold and shape me to this place you so tenderly describe here. Thanks for Hope and a sincere longing to have us live out this place of loving deeply, without judgement and opinion. Oh if we could love each other this way. Thank you Sarah
sarah, this is beautiful. i want to discipline my kids with this kind of love, and i’ve seen healing and redemption writ large when church and community loves like we’re called. love is absolutely what sets us apart as believers.
i do worry about how we apply this as a church sometimes. we have such a hierarchy of sin, don’t we–(or of sinners)? sometimes it seems like we beat the wounded with a doctrine of love, telling them precisely how to love and forgive abusers and unsafe people. i wonder what does it look like to love the wounders and the wounded both, the strong and the weak? i suspect that love looks like boundaries and forgiveness may not always mean forgetting.
(oh, that story about ann is an internet age parable, isn’t it? my heart longs for that kind of grace!)
ohh, thats good. a hierarchy of sinners and sin. thank you Suzannah. =)
Brilliant. And I think we can see in this a felt need to uplift our supposed rightness by pointing out others wrongness. We know we don’t compare well to the standard, so we just try to beat others down lower, making us greater by comparison.
Thank you for challenging the status quo!
so true, right? thank YOU for reading and commenting. =) appreciate it so much.
Yes, Sarah, the critical, judgmental spirit in us. Well said–thanks/
thank YOU julie. and thank you for the retweet this morning. =)
How about not pronouncing innocent or guilty? The times of the Judges in the Bible were some of the most unsettling times in the history of Israel. I don’t see anywhere in the New Testament were some were called to “judges.” Let us set aside judging for love—for love covers a multitude of sins.
I linked and read all of this…and it makes me question whether I should ever right another book review. I have never reviewed a book where I knew the author personally. I read the words and I make my judgment based on my limited knowledge. I say this because the older I get (now 48) I realize, the less I know. There is only one Judge, and oh how I love Him though I realize that I won’t fully know Him as He knows me until I enter fully into His presence.
Thanks Sarah for giving these thought to ponder today. You are a gift.
oops “write”—I hope I don’t get judged for that !!
i love this dea!! set aside judging for love!! well spoken.
and so interesting your thoughts on book reviews. so very interesting. =)
Just as a note: “judging” was to be the proper application of Law and Gospel. It wasn’t always done perfectly. But the judges were to speak Law to those who sinned (and continued in it), and they were to speak Gospel (best form of love, by forgiving and restoring) to those who were broken by sin.
Difficult to discern which is needed and when, and difficult to apply… even today.
This may sound dramatic or cheesy, but I really want this blog post to be what I am defined by. I have been given a few major situations in the past year to practice this and it is hard. I am on the judged side of the equation and I am trying and learning to respond in love. Not sure if I am making a dent or a difference yet.
heather – keep loving and i know it will make a difference. it might not seem like it at first, but it will. =)
Well said, Sarah. And you are right: our very human, gut-response is so often reactive rather than reflective. If we can learn to recognize that about ourselves – and also understand that when we feel a strong visceral reaction to someone, we are often projecting our own fears about ourselves onto them – then we can take a step back, breathe deeply, and remember to be merciful…and loving. Like everything else worth doing in this life, it takes practice, doesn’t it? Thankfully, we have the Spirit of God within, prompting us toward love always. Tuning up the ears of our ears, though – that is what takes time and intentionality.
yes!! YES! thank you Diana!! =)
You expressed this idea of loving first in an amazing way! As a pastors wife and a mom of four, I have been on the receiving and giving end of loving people where they are, in that moment. So many times we put our expectations of where we think people should be, but in reality they are simply not there yet. Love is the thing that allows us to accept a person right where they are and gives God the space to work in that persons life.
oooh, i love that raylee! it gives God the space to work in that life. very well said.
Opps, tried to comment earlier but I don’t think it went through. Need grace if this duplicates. Thank you from the bottom of my heart on this. It just penetrates my heart to a place that needed touching today. You touch on this topic in such a profoundly tender way. Grateful here to have this in my inbox today. Pure beauty. I re-tweeted this to share the beauty of your words, Sarah.
thank you so much Elizabeth!
Oh Sarah you are so right. I assume the worst of people so many times and it is so damaging to relationships, esp. those closest to us. Father show me and lead me to assume the best in others. Even when their intentions are ill-spirited may I be filled with grace to extend to them – even if it’s over and over again. May we reflect your love each and every day with those around us so that others may know YOU.
Such a good reminder! It is so much easier to judge, I think, because we are constantly looking for validation for ourselves–saying, Oh, well I’m not as bad as so and so. Love is the harder choice.
another thought I had lately…if God is Love, and Jesus is truth, then the truth is love…or something along those lines. Showing love first and foremost to someone is a way to lead them to the Truth–Jesus.
-Sophia
Oh my, I had no idea what was going on with Ann.
Thank you for all the links. Now I understand.
Sarah…this is great…I am learning this now…being set free from assuming the worst…the person’s glass half empty instead of half full. I love this….”they will not know us by our truth…grace…but by love. HE speaks to me over and over…when all is said and done in this…all that matters…all that remains is love. I read a quote…”we are not called to be justices of peace…but angels of peace. As always Sarah…wonderful:)
Love, love, love this.
I literally JUST got done having a conversation with my husband about a friend who has consistently offended me and gotten on my last nerve. She is a fellow believer who I love (or claim to, and honestly really want to) but whom I, plain and simple, just do not like. Every Facebook update, every little comment, I judge her. I assume the worst and stick it in my file of reasons I can’t handle her. And of course, as I check twitter before bed this is the first thing that pops up and I’m feeling very challenged. So thank you… ah, sort of.
“To be a Christian means to forgive the inexcusable — because Christ forgave the inexcusable in you.” ~C.S. Lewis
… to humbly pray to live out the Scripture and the Christ I say I believe… always. regardless.
Next Saturday… pork roast dinner next Saturday. Please pray?
Sarah, I am amazed at how wonderfully and sovereignly God speaks to His people. Today, I am guilty of precisely the subject……I am so blessed and challenged to start afresh….I abhor being judged, yet I so easily fall prey to the very thing I abhor……. “Do unto others and you would have them do to you”. Thanks Sarah. God bless you and your family.
Awesome! This was on my mind so much last week as I was starting to analyze what a friend might be thinking because they were acting differently toward me. Just telling myself to “believe the best” – no matter what!
I like Martin Luther’s explanation of the commandment: “put the best construction on everything.”
Commandment: “You shall not bear false witness against your neighbor.”
Explanation: “We should fear and love God that we may not deceitfully belie, betray, slander, or defame our neighbor, but defend him, speak well of him, and put the best construction on everything.”
How easy to confess, how hard to practice!
Thanks, Sarah, for your words.
This is so good, Sarah. Thank you for this grace.