I don’t care how much I say I love grace, but there are times when I really love it when someone gets his or her just end.
When the bad guy falls from the sky. When the murderer confesses at the end of a movie. When the serial rapist actually gets caught and is called to account for his crimes.
Yes. YES! I feel like good has won and everyone on the side of good has also triumphed. I brush my hands together, nod my head and whisper,
He deserved it.
I learned a long time ago that there are people in this unjust world who do very wrong things and will never apologize. They will never make amends. They will never fix what they’ve done. They’ll never confess, fall from the sky or get caught.
It seems to be how the world works.
It’s the guy who grabbed you in the 8th grade and made you feel used and vulnerable or the best friend who walked away from you because she loved herself more than she loved you. It’s also the thieves and the child-wounders and the horrible people who never are caught.
Those loose ends do nothing to satisfy our human need for closure. We want justice. We want ending. We want finish. We want the ability to watch from afar and say,
He deserved it.
She had it coming to her.
We love justice much more than we love mercy. So much more, I think.
Early this year I discovered that some very valuable things had been stolen from me. From my home.
Skipping through some serious details, we never discovered who took them, where they went, or why whoever took them decided to do it.
My wedding ring.
A diamond bracelet.
His watch with my words inscribed on the back.
A necklace.
And more.
They are all gone. And we never figured out who did it. It even sickens me now to talk about it because those items not only had monetary significance, but they had very-dear-to-me sentimental value.
The ring he put on my finger when we were 21 I will never have to give to one of my daughters. I’ll never wear the bracelet he gave me when we reached ten years after we’d fought so hard to make it that far. I’ve even forgotten now what I wrote on the back of that watch I gave him and I’ll never be able to, we’ll never be able to read it again.
Do I love justice or mercy?
Somebody, somewhere knows where those pieces of jewelry went and why they were taken. But until the mystery becomes translucent, I don’t even have the choice to call for justice or for reparations.
If someday I’m given the choice to press charges against the person who stole the most personal things from me, will I do it? Will I make demands or will I only ask questions?
What will I love more? Justice or mercy? Wrath or grace?
I don’t know. I really don’t.
I believe there is a time for justice. There is a time for calling to accounts. But there is also a time for grace and for mercy.
Act justly
Love mercy and
Walk humbly.
I’m not sure what a life long road of loving mercy means but I can guess a few things: It means honestly allowing God to be right and submitting myself to that. It means being okay with being last sometimes. It means not always seeing the loose ends tied up nicely.
It means seeking grace and mercy over what someone deserves.
What does loving mercy mean to you?
wow. that hurts a little:)
i say i believe in grace and mercy and i am more times than not happy to offer it to family and friends. but to those that have truly hurt me? man, i struggle. loving mercy means letting go. blessing instead of cursing even when the cursing would feel so good. i’ve got a couple of people, that i truly need to bless with grace and mercy. just when i think i’m there….just when i think i’m good and i have forgiven them…i see them and know that i haven’t. it’s a process. the more grace and mercy god extends to me the more i will extend to others. hopefully one day i will extend it to those people that are most difficult.
i agree, melissa. it is a process. =)
Hurts a little indeed! But thank you
That stealing sounds like a painful experience. I’m sorry you have to go through that.
I caught myself thinking the same sorts of things. Firemen and Police officers in places nearby have been sexually preying on teen girls, I want the hammer to come down. I had this horrible epiphany about that sort of thing…justice. I wrote about it here: http://wp.me/p1g2iA-29W
Right on!
I’m very sorry for the things you lost, which, as you pointed out, might not seem significant to others it’s very significant to you.
One thing that has helped me (and it still is, it’s a process) is remembering how truly undeserving of grace and mercy I am, yet God still gives it to me daily. I, then, cannot hold a grudge or hate someone for what they’ve done to me even if it’s completely unfair, because that’s how I was to God. God bless you girl!
grace. Sometimes if feels like a four letter word not five.
Especially when you have been wronged. But, without it where would I be? I am not sure I can give a clean answer on grace, but I think it’s the diggin down deep into that part of your soul that is rooted in the eternal. The love and mercy that is ingrained not in emotions which come and go, but trust. Faith that while I show that same mercy that is shown me,His justice will come in His time. polished or jaded around the edges…He is redeeming.
So sorry about your jewelry…that’s a real-put-grace-to-the-test kind of ordeal….
Great insight….xo lindsay
I like the way you put this. It made many scriptures come to mind:
“The love and mercy that is ingrained not inemotions which come and go, but trust.” Proverbs 3:5 – Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding.
“Faith that while I show that same mercy that is shown me,” Colossians 3:13 – Forbearing one another, and forgiving one another, if any man have a quarrel against any; even as Christ forgave you, so also do ye.
“His justice will come in His time.” Romans 12:19 – Dearly beloved, avenge not yourselves, but rather give place unto wrath: for it is written, Vengeance is mine; I will repay, saith the Lord.
“I am not sure I can give a clean answer on grace” – love, mercy, forgiveness – these things I can define and we are commended biblically to be loving, merciful and forgiving. But are we ever commanded to bestow grace in the Bible? Not that I’ve been able to determine. Grace is the blanket that love, mercy, and forgiveness wears – a very beautiful quilt that only God can cover you with.
Oh…the hardest places to show mercy…to forgive is when what was stolen is so very dear to us… treasures like our wedding ring…innocence…fellowship…friendship…the list goes on. Here is where we find Christ…here is where we get to identify with Him…like a lamb to the slaughter. Oh I have not arrived here…this has been a long journey for this woman of “justice”…my own justice. But what freedom comes when we let go…I read somewhere…
“We are not called to be” justices of the peace”…but angels of peace.” Blessings as we all grow to know how to love mercy…
It isn’t a popular idea in our society, this idea of mercy.
I was abused as a child, and people frequently “comfort” me with words about the abusers “getting theirs” and “burning in hell”. I can’t get comfortable with those endings.
What I want is acknowledgement that they did those things and for them to seek my forgiveness. But more than anything, I don’t them (or anyone else for that matter) to be separated from God (which is how I view hell).
You quoted one of my favorite verses (Micah). What does mercy look like everyday in my life? How can I show to others the mercy I crave from God?
Thank you!
sometimes the answer is not in what we want or expect…that is the struggle…to be willing to accept…and realize…that God is in control, not us, and we pray that His perfect will be made plain and be done. God bless you.
Sarah, everything you write is so incredibly awesome, and I feel so much a part of your words that tears often swell and start to run over…you are so full and rich with wisdom at such a young age.
Your words are such an inspiration to me.
Thank you so very much.
Sarah, I’m so sorry for your loss. And may I say, I think it’s perfectly right that you want justice?
In the call for grace that is a part of Christian culture these days, the concept of justice seems to be lost. Though I think it is much better to err this way- to help people understand that grace is at the core of who God is and so much of Him is misunderstood- God is also just.
The Psalms are FILLED with requests for justice to be done. It should make us feel unsettled when evil happens in this world. It is not the way things are supposed to be. Things that break shalom break God’s heart and they should break ours.
Seeking justice is part of our role as Christians. As we seek to release the oppressed, it sometimes means finding justice for the oppressors. Putting murderers and sex traffickers and child soldier recruiters behind bars is a good thing to do. However, we just must do so through the lens of grace, mercy, and love. Treating them well behind bars. Giving them opportunities to right their wrongs. Loving them even when they have done nothing to deserve it.
The key is to seek justice with sober judgement. We must ultimately trust justice to God’s perfect wisdom. Our sin and our investment in the situation will mess with our ability to administer justice correctly. Only God can hold mercy, grace, and justice in perfect tension and administer them with perfect love.
thank you stephanie for your perspective. and I love what you said.
thank you for picking this idea apart in a different way!
I like it. thanks for your thoughts, Stephanie.
Sarah, thanks also, for your thoughts. I like them too.
Lord, give us your wisdom!
micah 6:8 is one of my all time favourite scriptures… the deeper meaning I take from it is to have justice, but to daily choose and love mercy… it is a choice to be made not once, but again and again, each day, each decision, each attitude.. and when it is a battle, I too, hand it over to Him, who is more just and has greater mercy than I could ever even comprehend in this lifetime.
yes! i’ve always loved this verse too. thank you!! =)
To me, loving mercy means to be forgiving and compassionate towards my offender when they don’t deserve it according to the standards of justice. If only it were that easy.
yes. thank you Steph.
We had our house broken into in 1998. We learned that it wasn’t just our apartment but several in our complex. One day I was home recovering from surgery and I watched the little buggers crawl through the fence that separated “us” from “them”. I called the cops immediately, ran out of my house in my 3 day old pajamas, my hair unwashed, my left arm still orange from the pre-surgery stuff and wrapped from wrist past elbow.
I watched them run to apartments and try doors and I waited and waited for the police to show up. They took 30 minutes to come even though at this point 10 apartments had been broken into (mine had been broken into twice at this point). The maintenance man, an overweight guy who moved only with the help of the complex golf cart, tried to chase them away but the kids just laughed at him. At us. And laughed more when I started screaming at them because I was tired of being ripped off, by the kids and by the cops who just shrugged whenever they showed up.
The kids came back the following weekend to try to break into my house again. My husband was home and I was out getting lunch. We only had one car and they knew that. Mike called me when the kids tried the handle of the door and he caught them while he was on the phone with 911. I had had enough. I drove down into their neighborhood. I wanted to see these kids for myself. I turned off my cell phone because my husband was hollering at me to not do something stupid. But I was done. I wanted justice.
I found two of the kids and chased them in my car and then by foot. They both got away (me still recovering from surgery was still relatively slow and not ready to climb fences). The ruckus caused their neighbors to come out of their homes. They just stared at me. I said do you know? do you know them? These kids just shrugged, they obviously did not care. I screamed. I just screamed I was so mad. I was mad at the police who did nothing. Who would later tell me that one of the deputy sheriffs working the case didn’t exist. Another crime scene investigator would tell me that I had told him that we left our doors unlocked. This was his response, his way of covering himself for doing a bad job when he arrived, when I called and contacted all the local media and they started to question the sheriff’s department’s actions, or lack of actions.
But now it’s four years later. The things that were taken are gone but we’re not. My cats were safe. My husband is safe. I’m safe. I later learned that the kid I chased was caught doing something else and he had been carrying a gun. Did he have that gun when I chased him?
I also learned that this kid, the one with the gun, had grown up in the penal system. His mother was pregnant with him and busted several times for crack possession and prostitution. He grew up in jail.
As much as I wanted to have a Die Hard ending with me as Bruce Willis saving the day, I would much rather that this kid be different. Now. That’s how I feel now. Then I had a hard time thinking anything other than very foul words about him. But now I seriously wish that he could shed his past and emerge from that new and beautiful and different.
i love that story wendi. thank you so much for sharing and for sharing your perspective!
I do believe we get our desire for justice from God. God is a God if justice. However, are we seeking justice, or revenge? There is a difference. Having a brother in prison, I know about justice. Justice is important, but I feel it’s only Godly when justice meets mercy and grace.
Sarah, you did a great job of communicating your struggle. I appreciate the conversation you have started here.
You asked, “Do I love justice or mercy?” And the good news is you don’t have to pick one or the other. None of us do. I think they are two sides of the same coin. They are both the currency of love. It is because of God’s mercy that justice is served. And mercy can’t be understood apart from the context of justice.
Justice demands that there be a consequence when a law is broken. And enforcing the consequence is often the most loving–and therefore merciful–thing that we can possibly do.
Consequences are a legal provision for both the violated and the violator. Consequences allow the violator to feel the pain of their actions to the point that it can impact their heart. In this way, it is merciful to stand for justice when there has been a violation. It opens up space for change. Sadly, some violators never see this process for what it is and don’t use the opportunity to yield and grow, but justice was nonetheless served to them.
On the other hand, it is because of mercy that sometimes the severity of a consequence that justice requires is softened. Sometimes wisdom dictates that it is just to forgive a debt, instead of requiring payment. In this case, mercy is extended because of justice, not in spite of it.
In my mind, justice and mercy walk hand in hand, side by side. They are always in step with each other, but sometimes one yields slightly more to the other–depending on what each individual situation requires.
someday you will know. someday you will find out. the question is will you be
able to take it? you can take my words to the bank. Happy Mothers day. Love your
blog.
thank you joseph.
Wendi, I smile at your description of wanting the Die Hard ending with you, Bruce Willis, saving the day! So humorous, and I so get that!! To say this tongue-in-cheek, if only I could remember that God is the ultimate Bruce Willis. hahaha!
Sarah,
Thank you for this post. It is beautifully written. I find that when it comes to my wrongdoings I want grace and when it comes to what others do I want justice.
I’m a work in progress. Sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly
Blessings to you, friend.
i am living exactly right there today. i want retaliation. i want vengeance. i want justice. i want to feel vindicated. and yet, i want God to reign in my life. these 2 identities do not mesh. in my flesh, i want justification; in my heart, i want God. which will win? the one i feed. consistently. on my knees. Lord, forgive my prideful, sinful, flesh and heal my heart. i want only You.
Thank you for your words! They are exactly what i needed this day as i work thru this anger, hurt & betrayal.
Sarah,
My husband and I experienced a very similar situation. We had a large sum of money taken from our home three years ago by a student in our college ministry group. As volunteer college ministers in our church,students were always in our home. We had a few of these students who grew very close to our family, became our family in a sense, and we knew it was one of them. God revealed to us, 30 months after the theft, that it was one of the closest students to our family. He had been caught in some other similar situations, and when confronted with possible legal action, he confessed. Heartbroken does not even begin to describe the feelings of betrayal and injustice we felt. No remorse or apology was ever offered, and this was from one of the most active, what everyone thought of as godly, leaders of this group. I, like you, have cycled through a spectrum of emotions over all of this. I can testify today that the Lord has taught our family so much during this time. Our discernment has grown, our ability to trust in God’s justice has increased, and we have learned that real love holds others accountable. I wish I could say that this young man has experience brokenness, like David in the OT, but I cannot. I do pray for him each and every day…that his heart would be transformed, that restoration would be possible, and that God would break this stronghold in his life and use the victory for His ultimate glory. My encouragement to you, as hard as it may be, is to pray for the offender. In the end, we are thankful to KNOW who took the money so we can be prepared to extend mercy to him when his heart is ready.
I have lived through so many of these situations. I am learning to guard hearts, hold others accountable, hate and be angry with sin. Lord, teach us your balance.