When the pastor at the front said, ”It’s time to pray together now,” I thought it was kind of a novel idea. Taking 10 minutes to actually pray together at church instead of getting another cup of coffee? or rushing out the door? Fancy that.
I turned to my husband thinking we’d pray just us two. After all, we had just moved to this city and were brand new to the church. And I was uncomfortable talking to strangers, let alone old strangers because this church was distinctly filled with the elderly, let alone something intimate like praying with old people.
Of course, Mr. Never-Met-A-Stranger is right at home already (he has this weird idea that somehow when we’re in church together that it makes us all family). He promptly turned around and invited two gentlemen that – no lie – looked just like Statler and Waldorf from the Muppet balcony, to join us. They had more hair growing out of their ears than I have ever seen in my life.
I love to pray. But now I was intimidated. What if they were the kind of men from a previous generation that think women shouldn’t be praying here? What if I said something offensive? What if I got too charismatic-y for everyone? (I have an unconscious tendency to hum while other people are praying, to whisper things like “Thank you, Jesus” or ”Amen” if you say something I really like.)
My husband introduced us and they asked us how long we’d been coming here. ”Well, about two weeks now. How about you?”
The one who looked like Statler said, “Well, I’ve been here forever but this guy is pretty new, too.” And the one who looked like Waldorf said”Yep, only been here since 1973.” They eyed us, waiting for us to get the joke, and cackled approvingly when we grinned appreciatively.
Then, out of pleasantries, it was time for business. They leaned forward to us and we leaned back towards them, our glossy heads bowed together with their bald pates and ear hair.
We prayed.
Suddenly my self-consciousness was gone. We prayed for the church and the people that were sick or requesting prayer in the bulletin. We prayed for unity and for love, for reconciliation and the healing of old wounds. We prayed for goodness and grace, beauty and hope to rest here and in us.
Then the pastor was calling us all back to the surface. We blinked and I realised we were stilll here in the itchy pews. We grasped hands and nodded, like friends.
We went to that church with its traditional service and hymns, it’s pews sparsely populated with women wearing pantyhose for nearly a year but we never made a friend, never cracked the code of entry to tight social groups. And so we found ourselves in a different church filled with people our own age and songs we knew and flip-flops and suddenly it was easier to make a friend.
But I miss them. I miss the old people.
I am left wondering: why do we self-separate?
Maybe it’s just the natural outgrowth of our age separation all life long. We’re not an intergenerational church because nothing in our life has been intergenerational - we go to school with twenty other kids our age, we go to church and are kept in the classrooms away from the main service to eat goldfish crackers in peace, we sit in the warehouse with a trying-too-hard-to-be-cool youth pastor for another few years and then we emerge, blinking at the sun of society, and we draw to ourselves again, like to like, unable to fathom an intergenerational church life, unable to make it work, unable to translate with love the myriad of gaps yawning between us.
This church in particular had deep anger between the generations. The old people were angry with the young ones for wanting change (oh, church music…how many churches have you thus felled?) and the young ones were leaving because of “stubborn” old people that thought they owned the joint and the pastor because they paid for the carpet in 1983 and so the church was dying and oh, so tired. No one spoke the same language and eventually we got tired of trying so hard to start new there. So, like most of the other young families, we took our tinies and left for a group of people that were more like us.
On that Sunday though, I remember that when we are leaving, Waldorf said to me, “Well, that was nice to pray with you young people.”
Then he said wistfully, “I think that the young people kind of need us and we need the young people, don’t you? Because this was nice.”
It was nice. It was more than nice, I wanted to say. It was Kingdom of God, wide table set for us both and grace for just a moment and I loved it, this glimpse of what it looks like - what it is supposed to look like – even if was just for a moment. And it was a gift.
But all I said was thank you and have a nice rest of your Sunday, sir.
What has been your experience with older generations within a church context? What can we do to look more like a family in our churches?
{ 53 comments… read them below or add one }
Excellent post, excellently written, intimate and profoundly true. We are a society produced by separation. Since the urbanization of the west in the early part of the last century, we’ve been moving farther away from each other. My parents are old — in their eighties — and they pray like nobody’s business. I wish they had hoards of younger people around to pray with — it would be good for everyone involved.
“It was Kingdom of God, wide table set for us both and grace for just a moment and I loved it, this glimpse of what it looks like – what is is supposed to look like – even if was just for a moment. And it was a gift.
But all I said was thank you and have a nice rest of your Sunday, sir.”
Gut-punch, right there.
You’re right, Alyssa – so many of us live or grow up away from our families and so we don’t even have grand parents around, period. The value of growing up with an extended family isn’t as strong or it isn’t as possible to live out (having to move for jobs etc.).
Thanks, Sarah, for this thought-provoking piece. Our church is large, and so encourages everyone to attend to weekly small groups. Many of these often “self-separate” and are geared towards specific groups – young marrieds with kids, those over 40, etc. When my kids were little, I thought I needed that, thought I needed to be around just those with little ones. Now I realize the benefit of not being in a self-separate group. I think we became better people when we were worshiping and getting to know those of various ages and stages of life, not just with those like us.
We are looking for a new small group, and now I know what kind of group I want to look for!
I know – me, too! Even though our new church is significantly “younger” there are enough older people – even by a generation – that have so much to offer us. I want to be more intentional about seeking it out, too.
{sigh} i miss old people too. thankfully we are finally getting a few to show up at our church plant. and that makes my heart happy. life is off-balance when all of the generations aren’t represented. we need each other. all of us. so much to learn from those who have walked the road before us. we need their wisdom, their strength, their ways of viewing life, God, relationships, hardships. all of it.
thanks for sharing, sweet friend. this was beautiful, timely and simply awesome.
xxx M.
I guess that’s just it, isn’t it, Mary? We need it from all sides and we need to give what we have freely as well.
I loved this.
We just moved to a church where over 60% of the congregation is from another generation.
We love it.
I already feel more challenged, surrounded by the wise and slightly more centered. How that happens, I don’t know, but it’s amazing.
It is amazing but it does happen to me, too! Godly by osmosis or something. Ha!
Not sure where to start with this comment but…. I go to a church that most here would probably label “that fundamental, legalist church” if you were from the outside looking in… because most women wear dresses to church {though, on occasion, you will see one of us in pants because none of us believe that woman wearing pants is wrong}, we sing old fashioned hymns with just a piano for our music { not because we wouldn’t welcome some more instruments… we just don’t have anyone to play them}, and our Pastor preaches from the KJV. Although, there are some very hateful churches out there that look like ours….. it is not that way at our church at all. ALthough we are far from perfect {every church}, and I don’t agree with EVERYTHING that happens there and I do think we could be a bit more modern… it works because… it is just simple and it leaves room for just being there for Jesus and not for any other reason… no entertaining band, no coffee {other than black coffee with cheap creamer and donuts downstairs after Sunday School} BUT, the old people feel comfortable… and the young people are taught that we don’t change church to adapt to our entertainment desires. Honestly though, I feel like there could be some work done in that area… like I said… I don’t agree with everything. I think our church actually tries too hard to appeal to kids rather than teaching them to worship with the adults, and the elderly. But as a whole, it is very blended at our church. we have small groups for Sunday School and then we all worship together in the main service. Our church has a lot of elderly and quite a few young couples just starting their families… and all the ages in between. We also have a thriving bus ministry.. another mark of a ‘fundy’ ha! church… however, my mom was one of those “bus kids” and rode the church bus where she first learned about Jesus… so I am thankful for bus ministry and our church is full of kiddos that are loved very much by the people in our church.
Anyway, didn’t mean to get on a rant. It’s just… I think conservative churches are getting a bad rep these days. This post left me realizing that maybe the way we do things isn’t so bad after all because we all worship very well together {although there are little tiffs between the generations when it comes to changing things here or there… it’s never anything too major}
I cannot imagine going to church without the elderly. There is so much wisdom to be learned just by praying with them or even having a five minute conversation with them. Change can be both good and bad and if there is anyone I think needs to ‘give a little’ as far as our desires for worship it should be the younger people. {IMHO}
Above all, we {young and old} need to remember it is God who we are worshiping and not ourselves.
Thank you so much for your comment, luv – nothing “rant-y” about it! Just wisdom and a good perspective for all of us. There is life, there.
I love all that you wanted to say to your prayer partners (that didn’t quite make it out). So right on.
We are newly attending a church with a board spectrum of generations. I love that about it. And the old people do talk to us young people. A benefit for us is that my husband works with an 80 something man who is friends with many of the older folks at our church. So, they have a connection there. If we talk with someone enough to find that little point of connection, it helps a lot.
By the way, I love your description of youth group & the exit from it. Big church?!
Not that this is the answer or anything, but I do think that homeschooling has the possibility of helping people with exposure to more age groups. Less age segregation.
Yeah, “Big Church” – I forgot about that term. Ha! That’s an interesting observation about homeschooling…I hadn’t thought of that. Hmmmmm…
Reading this has made me so much more grateful for my church experiences at my “home church” and my current church.
Something of an oddball, I don’t really get along that well with people my own age and I flock around the older, more experienced people. Both my home church and my current church value our “old” people. And the old people value us “spring chickens”.
Just the other day, “Grandma” (who is a figurative grandmother to more than half of our small town) was saying how much she loves us and she calls us (the whole church) her family, and that after 60 years of marriage, she’s come to appreciate the little things in family.
There definitely are ways to incorporate the all the generations in the church, but not every church has found success in their attempts.
I am inclined to agree with erin a. that homeschooling might help to offset the segregation of age groups – though I wasn’t homeschooled myself and find that I’m more at home with older folks (like 5-65 years older than I am).
Wouldn’t it be amazing? I love that you have “Grandma” there for everyone. Such a blessing – I hope to be like that someday for someone else, too. And yes, the homeschooling thing stood out to me too. Maybe an interesting idea, indeed.
I love, love, love this post. The church we are currently has many different generations and they are very welcoming. However, we have been there 3 years and are currently the youth leaders and we don’t really know anyone more than we did on day one. We don’t like it and have often said to each other we need to be more intergenerational. A few years ago in another state we were in a intergenerational Bible study. And it was FABULOUS!! There were times we didn’t agree, but it gave us a chance to learn how to discuss and not force our opinions. There were times when the older folks opened up and told us some of what they had been through. We were blown away at their strength and faith. We did so much growing there. We want so desperately to share this with our current church. Our pastor has been very open about his desire to change some things about the way we do church. So we are praying that intergenerational opportunities will be coming.
And Ashley, I LOVE what you said. I am learning the value of ‘fundamental’ churches.
thanks Andrea. My husband and I have been a place of struggle with this because it seems that with so many churches it is one extreme opposite or the other. Do you have a blog? When I clicked on your name it said that the blog didn’t exist.
I have two at the following addresses:
http://www.citrus-sunshine.blogspot.com/ A personal blog about my life.
http://matthew1820-twoormore.blogspot.com/ A more cerebral blog about Christ, the Bible, etc.
I think I forgot the http:// last time. My husband and I struggled with the church we are currently at as well. We tried a couple others and God just kept calling us back to where we are now. Several months later we became youth leaders and are now serving on a couple committees. Our motto is: If you aren’t a part of it, you can’t change it. There are things we like and things we don’t. We’re just trying to prayerful consider what changes God wants us to make and move that way. We don’t really mind being the ones to speak up and suggest unpopular ideas and be part of the follow through if it gets us closer to God. I’m guessing that’s one reason he wants us there.
I dig that – if you aren’t part of it, you can’t change it. I’ve found the same thing.
That is brilliant, Andrea. So much hope here! Thank you!
Sarah…this is so near and dear to my heart. I am shedding a few tears over here over the beauty in this post. What a a snapshot of what could and should be. I say I long for this, but then I too gravitate towards those who are more like me, I get shy and scared. The many lies we believe that keep us from participating in and receiving from the body.
When I was in university I lived in the basement of and elderly lady, the idea was to benefit her having a nursing student near by if she was ill or needed help…I think I’m the one who benefitted though. She told me she stayed up every night until I got home safely praying for me. I wonder how many instances her prayers covered me in my reckless youth.
How wonderful, Jenn. Such a gift she gave you (and you are a gift to me!).
Great post Sarah! I think it can work, but everyone has to give a little. That old “preferring one another in the Lord.” I think that too often the young and old set each other up as enemies. How much better it would be to have the youngers and olders adopt each other as grandparents — check in on each other and just get to know one another. And the move toward modernizing some of the music has to be taken slowly, after discipling the olders and getting them to share in the vision. And I don’t think the hymns should ever be abandoned entirely — again, the old preferring one another thing. Anyhoo, great post!
very well said
Thanks, Ramona – those are very practical, helpful points, indeed.
I wonder if I would be considered an older person…. I’m in my early 50′s. I’ve known about God all my life. I’ve been following Him for 31 years. I’ve been a parent for 24 years, a married woman for 28. I love younger women. I love encouraging, loving on, listening to them. But what I found in the church I attended was this. The women who were in their late 20′s and early 30′s… didn’t much need an older woman in their lives. They seemed to have life together. How does an older woman come alongside a younger woman if there is no need for it? That’s been my experience! It’s hard because the truth is, I’ve lived some life. I’ve gained some experience through my mistakes. I’ve asked for wisdom and God has graciously given it. But if there are no openings to pass it all along, you don’t get to.
Great post…
Oh how I wish I was at your church. I seek “older” woman for guidance and direction. It is true that we look like we have it together but let me tell you it is all ONE BIG LIE. We have been told by society to not share our problems and through our insecurities we don’t want to admit our faults. Pray to God that you will find someone because there are young woman (like myself) desperate for guidance but we don’t know who to go to or how to ask. By the way I am 26 and don’t know my place in this world.
Praying you find that person, Kiersten. It goes both ways, doesn’t it? We need to find older women to mentor us and we need older women that are willing to give of themselves and their time and love on the other side.
Kiersten, Thank you for your words…. I once heard a 28 year old woman who had several children share that she was struggling. Afterwards I went up to her, feeling led of the Spirit, and offered my heart to her in the journey. Could I walk with her in some way that would ease her burdens? Could I encourage her in those places her heart struggled? She looked at me like I had a 3rd eye… It was the strangest thing. A week or two later she came back to me and said, “my husband thinks I need to let you “mentor” me.” I said, “what do you think?” She said, I don’t know. I knew then that it wouldn’t happen. It wasn’t her heart telling her to come. She didn’t really even know she needed anyone. It made me sad.
God has allowed me to come alongside women in different venues. One of them has been through my blog. I’ve been amazed at how He has brought these relationships and am always grateful when I can cheer another on their journey.
Vulnerability and openness are doorways that allow us to be seen, known and loved. We often think that if we let others know those things about us we won’t be loved.. but the truth is we are loved all the more for the telling.
Again, thank you for your words!
Blessings,
Julie
Your welcome and am excited to read your blog.
Kiersten
Nope, not old but definitely with a lot to offer, gracious! What a blessing. You’re so right – it’s a two way street, isn’t it? We need openness from all sides, the giving and the receiving.
Thank you Sarah for seeing my heart…..
I’m sorry that this is your experience. I can tell you though that I’ve been told by others that I look like I have it all together. But I don’t. At all. I long for an older woman to just be my friend. No strings attached. No formality. Just a friend. Someone to come over. Someone to phone me. Someone for me also to encourage. I’ve cried over this. I get tears in my eyes thinking about it now too. Could it be that the women who seem like they have it all together really don’t? How to break down that barrier though and actually become a friend is something different altogether though. I’m sorry you have this experience from the other end of things. I guess the only way to figure it all out is to ask for wisdom and hope that God shows you what to do.
I know that people put up walls too. I have shared a few times over the years with older women about my struggling and although the odd time its been met with true compassion I think that I have shut down some because of other’s responses. I don’t need something big and formal I just need a friend! I don’t need a break from my kids and sending them to daycare a few days a week (seriously this was the comment I got that shut me down, unforunately) I just need someone to call me up and ask how I am doing and maybe come and sit on my couch and chat.
I’m in my 50′s too. I love hanging out with my younger friends. I also teach music and spend time with my students, including one’s that range in age from about 12 and up. I’ve learned so much from them all… including learning about music I never would have heard otherwise. I think it’s true what someone mentioned in response, that a lot of times the younger women are trying to hold it together, find their way, and take care of things because they haven’t had the support they needed when they were younger. They look like they don’t need anything. Our generation has been pretty monumentally self absorbed and our children’s generation has paid the price for that in some ways. It takes them a little longer to develop trust in people. They want to see if we’ll actually care and stick around. Even if it takes them awhile to warm up to it, I’ve seen a real hunger there among my younger friends, and a genuine appreciation to have multi-generational friends. I love the internet and the opportunities we have like your blog, to connect. Your response touched my heart, because I feel like the lone ranger sometimes with my friends who are my age. They don’t see why in the world they would possibly want to hang around with someone younger etc. They are the ones who are missing out.
Linda B… Thank you for your words and your response. I went to work at a camp last week as the assistant cook. I had the time of my life hanging out with the college aged staff. They were so open to me in many ways. I was amazed at how quickly they opened their hearts to me…. bringing their questions, their struggles. Just loved the deep heart conversations we had because of their openness. At the end of the week one of them said to me, “I hope you’ll come back and bring your kids… I would love to meet your kids… Oh wait, your kids are my age… ha ha…” I LOVED it…
Julie-
It’s so not true that we “don’t need” you! I am 26 and a mother of two under two. As a former military spouse, I have had the benefit of being blessed by women a generation ahead of me off and on, and it was fantastic and pivotal to God’s work in my heart at the time. YOU are needed for sure!
I completely agree that my generation has been told to “keep it all together” or you’re failing. We struggle to balance home, work, and family and fearful of being judged for our inability to keep it all going, we keep our struggling to ourselves. And I definitely relate to Linda B’s response as well. I find it very hard to trust others and wonder if they will stick around after getting to know me.
I pray that God brings open-hearted young women into your circle who can benefit from what God has taught you and simply your presence.
Autumn and Nola, Thank you for your sweet responses. They bless me. Something that’s been revealed to me in all this is that most people, including myself, are or have been hidden behind masks. It’s a result of the shame that was experienced at the hands of sin. Maybe it’s the “good mother” mask … or it could be the “I’ve got it all together mask”…. or the “hard-working, busy woman” mask or possibly the “striving to be the Proverbs 31 woman” mask. A mask is what I put on to cover my imperfections in order to present myself to be what I think will be acceptable. I’ve worn the hard working, Proverbs 31, got it all together mask. I can remember times where I would instruct my children to be a certain way so that we would look like the family that I thought would be acceptable. I cringe as I write this in remembering. Masks cause people to stay hidden, afraid of what might happen if anyone REALLY knew who they were or how they felt. I wore mine for years….But then God got a hold of me and started to reveal what grace, true, authentic grace really was. When I really started to understand grace, I no longer needed the mask. It’s then people could really know who I was and love me into who I was made to be. I have learned that people have to know they are safe to let you know them. I’ve also learned that shame keeps people from feeling safe. It all starts with trusting someone with who I am, just as I am.. Hard to do sometimes. The cool thing is that God is allowing teenagers and college aged students to open up their hearts to me. I’m grateful, so, so grateful. Who would have thought that a 19 year old would want to hang out with a 53 year old? I just love it. My desires is that I might be seen as safe place where love opens the door to come as you are to be loved into who you are known to be. It all begins with trust….. Thank you for your comments to me. You have truly blessed me. and BTW, Autumn…. I was a military wife too at the beginning of our marriage!
So well written. Sarah, if you wrote a book, I’d read it.
Now *that* is a compliment! xo
I grew up in a Lutheran church with my dad as the pastor. We didn’t have much of a youth group but we had some. We didn’t leave “the big church” to worship with our age group but learned to sit in church. I understand why churches do it but I think we need to worship together as a church. The church is not the older generation because they are adults but all generations. We need to worship together and learn from each other. I agree with what the older gentlemen said. We do need to older generation and they need us. Oh how I wish to find a church in Montana that focuses on intergenerational worship because that is so important for our faith. Thank you for the beautifully written post. It brought to light something that I think no one talks about.
Thanks, Kiersten – I hope you find it, too. (And I love Montana – used to live in Alberta and so drove through there often. So beautiful.)
Having been on the pastoral staff of and now a lay member of an intergenerational church, I resonate to this beautiful post on multiple levels. As Pastor to Adults, I worked hard to bring the generations together – in small groups, women’s activities, Sunday morning learning forums, etc. I visited every age – from witnessing the passage of an elderly saint from this life to the next to blessing a new-born babe by wrapping him/her in a hand-made prayer shawl, made one someone decidedly older (all our knitters and crocheters are 50+.)
Now, I’m retired and looking at this experience as I move into that last generation. And it is a beautiful thing to see. It’s not perfect, but it’s working. Our worship is blended beautifully (oh, a few complaints from the older retired crew if the drums are too loud), our staff reflects the age groups nicely and my husband and I are now the oldest members of one of the best small group experiences we’ve ever had. It’s not impossible, but it does need to be intentional. And most likely, it needs to be smallish for it to work well (350-400 max). I love the way that wide range of faces reflects so beautifully the fullness of God, the creativity of God, the wisdom of God. Thanks again, Sarah, for your thoughtful, careful, beautiful writing – always, always a joy.
You are such a blessing, Diana. And this has so much hope in your post – thank you for sharing how it looks and works in the real world. So helpful!
Ya know – it really pays to proof read comments, too! Supposed to read “resonate WITH” and “made BY someone older than…” rather than “made one someone.” Say what?? Ah, must be I’m getting OLD.
This is what I have missed most in my churches the past decade and this is what I’ve missed most about my job as a hospice social worker. We have so much we can learn from each other!
Exactly – it goes both ways, right?
it’s so hard, isn’t it? i hate to see the Church ghetto-ized by age groups, but it is hard to find real friends when no one is your age. our current church is aged, and the one before that we were in a small group of mostly empty nesters and parents of teens. in both communities, we felt loved and supported but still lonely.
thanks for talking about this. we forget that the true Body of Christ does not look just like us!
This is such an amazing and needed post.
I said recently if I could somehow combine the amazing fun that is a “young person”‘s church and combine it with the comfort and homeyness of the church with the creaking pews that my Grandma goes too, I’d have a church I’d attend every Sunday. Without fail.
It is hard for me because I love the love and closeness that the “older” (for lack of a better word) churches bring but they are also a struggle because I often feel like I can’t relate and there is no “life group” that relates to me because I’m not “Over 50 feeling Nifty” or whatever.
Yet when I attend the large “young” church in my area it is fun, sure, but I come and leave and no one ever notices. I attend small groups but those “small” groups are 40 people deep. The music is hip and fun – but occasionally I’d love to sing Amazing Grace, or How Great Thou Art – and smell the pages of an old Hymnal.
When I attended the church my Grandma attends it was beautiful. We all held hands while we partook in communion. We prayed aloud for each other in a circle (there was a 85 year old gentleman who was praying for his father {yep} to pass his driving test – cute…and scary) and before I left that day I had been hugged at least 15 times and invited to eat at their after service potluck. They asked me to please come back. I said I would. I never did. That is sad.
I wish we could somehow bridge the gap and get the best of both worlds. Or is that just me being selfish?
Okay, first I have to giggle because my bestie Tina calls us Statler & Waldorf. And when she couldn’t remember their names one day, she called us Wildford & Brimley. So I get all smiley whenever I see them mentioned.
As for the actual content. I sometimes like the idea of being with older people more than the actual implementation of it. I’ve been a part of congregations that had a greater generational diversity, but it almost invariably led to nasty disagreements of the unbelievably petty sort. There is something that is missing when the churches are all one generation, but some of the disrespect that can happen between the two can be awful.
That said, my mom was a nursing home activities director when I was growing up, so I spent a lot of time with the elderly because she brought us girls along to help out. So I have a lot of positive memories of sharing stories with the elderly. I’m thankful for those because I think otherwise my adult experiences would probably leave me far more jaded.
Thank you for sharing this lovely story!
Our church is very large, and very much inter-generational. We have two services, and although the early service is the “traditional” one which most of the older folks go to, not ALL go to that service. Sometimes my own boys (9 & 10) attend the kid’s church and sometimes they come into the main service with us. Looking across our sanctuary you see, scattered across it, all ages and stages represented… from newborn babes to silver haired frail prayer warriors of old. I love it. It’s the way the Church is supposed to be. Yes, we break out for age-related Sunday School classes, have a big youth group, kid’s church, nursery & preschool classes, etc but there is always that coming together.
I read this post right after our church potluck so it feels extra-relevant.
We’ve only been attending our church since October. Previously we had been at a very small church that had only two older couples. Although they were great, we really felt the lack of those with more life experience(what I call “real adults”). Although transitioning churches has been challenging, one of the benefits has been attending church with many “real adults”. One of the retired ministers still attends. He just celebrating 50 years of ordination, is in his 90s and has some of his ear lobe missing from his time in WWII. At the potluck today, we sat with a couple with 13 grandkids. As young parents, we need that support and encouragement from those who have gone before. As a lover of history, I love those conversations where people share stories of what life was like long before I was born.
On the Sunday we celebrated the minister’s 50th anniversary of ordination, he shared briefly that during the war he had been in the tank division. He found this stood him in good stead after he became ordained. I am so blessed to go to a church with many older people.
I so SO relate to this. I WISH there were more “old people” in my life – I’d love to pray with and be mentored by an older person with lots of wisdom and life experience to share. But I don’t have a clue how to go about getting that. And maybe I’m a little afraid. {What if they’re weird? What if it’s all awkward? What if I want “out”?} I kinda wish it were a church program that I could just join rather than suggesting it out of the blue. An intergenerational Bible study sounds awesome. There are tons of older people at my church – I just don’t have a clue how to get to know them… it would be highly irregular and intimidating for me to just walk up to one of them one sunday and say hello. And even if I did… then what? Tell them I’m looking for a relationship? Awkward! Maybe I’m overthinking things!
I long for intergenerational church. I have had some glimpses of the beauty, wisdom and freshness it can bring to families, the lonely and the church. Examples like a successful “adopt-a-grandparent” or a mentorship/discipleship program like “Barnabas and Timothy”.
But the one revelation I’ve had is that the “older generation” were the newbies in their day. When they built the buildings, hired the pastors, sent the missionaries, and purchased the hymn books – they were radical in their day! One lady told me how her mom didn’t talk to her because of the piano that was bought to be used in the church service. If there could be some common understanding about the calling and passion they had that led them out of the box… that passion still exists but it just looks different these days. The Spirit that leads is the same Spirit.
Hmm, perhaps I’m just too emotional lately. This post brought tears to my eyes. It’s simply beautiful, and as my husband and I seek a new job position, it reminds me of so many reasons why I want to find an intergenerational church. A church where the very old are valued and the very young are welcomed. Or at the very least a church that has the opportunity to grow that way. I want this for my son – to know that he is accepted and welcomed into worship, and to have a heart that accepts and welcomes those much older than him as well.