Remember when you were little
and you didn’t notice the grass stains on your jeans, or the scuffs on your shoes?
Remember when the words came out of your mouth so honest, so pure—
you simply spoke from the open goodness you saw in the world.
You spoke from your heart and your soul
and you never gave a second thought as to how it would actually come out.
Not one thought to whether or not what you said was offensive.
(like that one time you told your teacher she needed a Tic-Tac because she did.)
Flash forward 20-odd years and:
I am staring at the screen.
I am staring at the page.
I am staring at the Bible.
I am staring at you.
The years steady my hand, quench my careless passion,
and peel the layers from my heart.
I am boggled daily by the effort to not offend, to be politically correct,
to say the right thing and speak love over everyone.
When did love begin to translate as silence?
The fact of the matter is, sometimes, no matter how hard you try
–how hard I try–
people get offended.
Doesn’t matter if the undercurrent of what you say is grace rather than anger
and you think the difference ought to be felt.
It doesn’t matter if you have carefully crafted your sentences and stance.
It doesn’t matter if you are the least controversial person on the planet.
It doesn’t matter if you never discuss politics, or religion, or the economy, or parenting—-
occasionally, offense is just the new black, and people will choose to wear it proudly.
Seeking out wrongs where there aren’t any.
So what is a soul to do?
Why is opinion so hard to swallow?
Why do we feel it necessary to play tug of war
and drag everyone over to “our side”?
It seems to me there are three options:
1. We can say to heck with it, and live filter off,
because crusading our beliefs is the most important thing.
2. We can live in fear that our heart-thoughts will distance us,
and spend every conversation in worry.
Or 3. we can beg and pray for the heart of Christ.
That His Words will be ours.
That we’ll have the gentle strength and grace that results in true relationship.
Relationship.
The ability to share our hearts because, in the end, that’s all we can do.
We can share when we are led, and be silent when that leading isn’t there.
Its up to us to seek out the difference.
No one can do that for us.
And I’m speaking as a Believer TO Believers.
I’m speaking as a Person to Persons.
I’m speaking of having a base line of love underneath all that we do,
because THAT is Jesus.
Maybe, as always, the point isn’t to pull and push into religion
or a common-ness of thought
but to remember to just be His Voice.
“Oh, my Lord, I am not eloquent,
either in the past or since you have spoken to your servant,
but I am slow of speech and of tongue.”
Then the Lord said to him, “Who has made man’s mouth?
Who makes him mute, or deaf, or seeing, or blind?
Is it not I, the Lord?
Now therefore go, and I will be with your mouth
and teach you what you shall speak.”
{ 28 comments… read them below or add one }
This was beautiful! I love your perspective.
I’ve done both option 1 and option 2 and neither are right — neither honors God or others or the things God has taught me. Thank you for option 3.
What a beautifully written piece. I want that baseline of love underneath everything that I do. Thank you for gently reminding me that I want more of Him.
–JM
http://femmefuel.com/
What an absolutely beautiful — and necessary — reminder, especially for those of us in this blogging world, where our words can be twisted and turned to mean something they’re not. Thank you for your words today.
Excellent. Honoring God is what we are required to do, and doing it with His love showing through is a gift : )
Sometimes it’s refreshing to be around children who don’t filter it all, speak free spirited. I wonder as parents if we do our children an injustice by teaching them to speak so kind and sugary (and dishonest at times). Hmm. Makes me think. Thanks for sharing this.
great post! I get so antsy and uncomfortable around people who get super defensive and argumentative, but I’m not always positive that I’m not being hypocritical about it. Thank you for posting this and reminding me that what really matters is speaking the words of Christ and love.
I am learning that my reality is, Christ in me are interwoven together as one, you cannot tell where one ends and the other begins….. That is my new identity. That is my reality. If I step into that identity, living He and I together I will love in incredible love.
Whoops, make that first line to read… Christ and me are interwoven together as one, NOT Christ IN me… sure wish there was an edit button on these things…
i struggle with this very thing daily – thank you, sara.
Before I meet with people, I’ve started praying “Help me to be myself, God, and to represent You well.” Those simple words recenter me and seem to grace the ensuing conversation.
We used to sing a song in church when I was little that said, “let the beauty of Jesus be seen in me”. I wondered what that meant until I went to Uruguay on a mission trip and didn’t speak any Spanish.(unless you count “where is the bathroom?”). I prayed so hard every day before we went out to meet people that they would see Jesus when they looked at me instead of seeing Carolyn. The results were quite profound. And yet I don’t pray that in my daily life, even though it is a mission of its own. I could ask the God who promised to give Moses the words to say to give me words every day, but I don’t. Thanks for the reminder.
Such beautiful words. I love how you put it, to have “a baseline of love under all that we do.” And thank you for the reminder that we speak when we are led, but do not have to fill empty space with emptier words when the leading isn’t there.
Thank you for your heart.
I am so not good at this. Yet. By his grace, someday.
Yes. And not being afraid when His leadings force us to be bold – those moments holding the same power as His leadings into silence. Both perfect when it comes from the Source.
<3
I totally love this. I would never have started writing and letting my words be permanent on the internet if I hadn’t learned to depend on His grace first. Otherwise I’d cry every time I messed up my punctuation, perfectionist that I am. I’d probably go crazy if I miscommunicated my theology (the easiest thing to miscommunicate in my opinion).
I pray that He is my mouth. You don’t want to know what I say when it’s coming from me.
mm. can we mix option 1 and 3?
but then.. how is that possible, right?
but it could be!
maybe.
God did make us. mouths. minds. hearts. radical thought processes and flamboyant imginations…
maybe we can weave “to heck with it” with God’s oh so holy mouth?
hmmmm….. You’ve stopped me in my tracks with this one, love.
Hi Sweet Sara – I absolutely love this! I sometimes get so frustrated that people seem to be so ready to be offended and judgey — this perspective is so refreshing.
I think it can be a challenge in the blog world for people to truly understand what one writes its alsmot like you need to REALLY know them to know and understand what they are conveying. But if a reader isn’t quick to judge and assume – then I think that allows the true heart of what the writer is intending to convey to come across – does that make sense?
Its sort of like giving the benefit of the doubt and not making assumptions and realizing we ALL have opinions, thoughts and ways of doing things and we are all free to choose to walk out our lives the BEST way of ourselves and our families!
You are something I tell ya!
xoTiffany
Oh, so much goodness here. The heart of Christ…that’s what I want. That balance between love and truth and grace…it’s a continuous journey.
so many days i review my words and realize i am hurtful, arrogant….there is nothing to do but delve into the word that perhaps words of grace will escapre tomorrow.
This post really spoke to me! In terms of blogging, I am always concerned with offending people. I want my words to be well received so its possible to make a difference and make an impact on people. But the truth is, you simply can’t please anyone. Thank you for the healthy reminder to take this issue to God. I so quickly forget to go to him in prayer when I need discernment in an issue like this! Thank you for this post!
dana michelle
I meant you can’t please EVERYONE, not anyone! Typo!
Thank you SO much for this beautifully, so perfectly written piece. Printing it out to remind me to trust God for my words, lean on Him. The one, only one who is perfect. He will direct my path, my speech.
Love the way this was communicated. Thanks again, glad I found it. I often find that I am the one becoming very easily offended, or being easily offensive. Either way I end up in a deep hole of self condemnation. I want to simply live in trust to the one who made me and not beat myself up for not measuring up.
Oh how I needed to read this at this very moment! I had one of those days yesterday when a dear friend attacked my words. Dissecting and searching under microscope. My heart has been heavy, my pen nervous. Thank you for encouraging me!
This is SO what I have been struggling with over the past few days, and it has been killing me. Thank you for sharing about this struggle – and for your gentle advice that is truly what I needed to hear.
This is beautiful! My eyes filled with tears as I read the beginning…today is the first day of school for my elementary age children. I sat last night at their bedsides reminiscing with them about the funny things they have said like, “Daddy says your house smells like old people.” We laughed and I reminded myself to hold onto those precious moments. Children are so open…they are so inspiring in their unaffected nature.
As I read on I related even more. I received a text yesterday from a good friend, asking me if she had offended me when she made a silly comment about our school’s funky track. Maybe at one point I would have been offended or hurt, but Jesus gently reminded me that when we feel offended it’s an opportunity to glorify Him through our responses. He must be our filter and our strength!
Thank you for sharing this beautifully written piece! Elegant and real!
I think sometimes I’m too good at the silence part, but I swing like a pendulum really. And for each of us it’s a different struggle. Some struggle to keep quiet, others struggle to find boldness to speak up, and probably we all struggle with finding that baseline of love to inform both the silence and the speech.
I’ve been asking Jesus every day to make me like him, and I’m finding grace even in the asking.
<3 <3
Beautiful, beautiful, and yes, so eloquent.