One year I was Raggedy Ann and another year I was a bunny. Mama put a set of pointy ears on my black-headed little brother, and he got to be Spock. She could whip up a costume for any of the four of us with a role of aluminum foil, a skein of yarn, and her makeup caboodle. We’re from the country and went to very few parties, but I remember Halloween parties when the adults showed that they did indeed have imaginations. I remember everybody laughing so hard, letting their kid-selves out.
Then suddenly at church they started showing videos about the dangers of secular music, and people were talking often about Devil worshipers. A visiting preacher may have done the final trick, but one day Mama and Daddy sat us all down and broke the news. No more Trick or Treating.
It was so lame. Every year, our friends talked about what they would be for Halloween, and we sat home watching TGIF, craving Jolly Ranchers. Mama felt bad for us and bought some coke and a bag of chocolates, I’m sure, but I said to myself: when I grow up, my kids are going trick or treating. Period.
…flash forward twenty something years.
I hear my 7 year old tell his apartment friends that we don’t go trick or treating because Halloween is celebrating death. “WHAT?!” I yell from the living room, “Where did you get that?” I bury my face in my hands, shaking my head (I’ve become that mother). I remember back when he was a three year old, back when I dressed him and his two little brothers up excitedly for their very first night of Trick or Treating.
We went to the neighborhood behind our house. We took our toddlers to see the zombies dragging rotting limbs behind them. The Grim Reaper pirate hookers. The werewolf demon clowns with axes in the head. It was too much, and I must confess that I might possibly have probably said it seemed to be a celebration of death. Of course Isaac remembered my saying it, and now the neighbor boys think we judge them for having fun.
And seriously I don’t judge. I get it. I still long for the goofy costume party my parents attended as young adults. Nobody was playing church there. They were, I do believe, experiencing friendship and joy, reflections of the true church.
I know that Halloween is a cultural event for the sole purpose of having fun, and I love FUN. I love it so much I could tattoo it on my neck: FUN. There are beautiful parts of personalities that come out on nights like Halloween that shouldn’t be inhibited the whole rest of the year, bottled up bravery and personality poured out on that one day.
But I can’t help but think there are other things at play. What about the actual unseen spirit world around us? I believe Jesus conquered death in that realm, and I believe we can dwell there in the palm of God’s hand. It’s the space of prayer and meditation, the space where lies root down and where the Spirit of the Lord is Freedom.
Something about Halloween makes me really really uncomfortable. What if I’m watching witchcraft (dark dealings in that invisible world) be dumbed down, cutened, and sold, and what if I’m a buyer? Where’s the grace? The room for fun? The freedom?
I just don’t know, so we ignore the holiday as much as we can, and we go to our Jesusy Harvest Reformation Day parties where there, too, I’m uncomfortable, separated from the rest of the world, standing next to an angel with a dirty diaper and a woman dressed as Michelle Duggar – in a jumper with a low pregnant belly and a nice set of bangs.
Post by Amber Haines
—
UPDATE: I did not want to write this post, but every time I decided not to, I was reminded that Deeper Story is a place to be vulnerable. I’m only asking questions here, and I don’t have many answers. Pretty much every smack dab one of my friends is going trick or treating. I’m in love with them all. I wish they’d all come here for candy. This is just my own personal struggle, not in any way an insinuation that I have it figured out or that we won’t be “celebrating” at town square this afternoon or next year. This is a can of worms I’m afraid I’ll have to swim in today.
{ 77 comments… read them below or add one }
I read a very interesting article written by two ladies who had come out of Wicca, and what Halloween actually is. In it, they say wiccans/satanists etc are as pissed off about the commercialism of Halloween as we are about Christmas. It is their high holy day. Even harvest festivals have their roots in paganism (I was surprised too!! I thought the church startrd those) As soon as I can get to a computer and access my email properly, I will send you the link, if you like?
As an Australian, Halloween isn’t very big over here. But as the big stores pushed it mre as more, i looked into it, and like you, felt incredibly uncomfortable about it. Yes, Christmas and Easter are also founded from pagan festivals. But the early Christians turned them into LIFE GIVING celebrations. Joy. Halloween? It’s still about death, since they claimed it as All Saints Eve… Those who have died. And I don’t think God wants us to celebrate death (or evil) in that manner. It is not goo and lovely
I accidentally started a bit of a free for all in a forum I was in once, by asking the simple question (with the honest attempt at understanding) “what is it, exactly, that you’re celebrating on Halloween?” The only answer I got was “we’ve always done it… And it’s harmless fun.” and they became very defensive. Yet if I had asked the same question about Christmas or Easter, I would have gotten very definite answers. Jesus birth. Jesus death and resurrection.
Anyway. That’s my view. And as I said, I will hunt down those links if you like
(please don’t throw tomatoes at me if you ‘do’ Halloween *wink*)
Remember the part of this post where the church started watching videos about the evils of secular music? Well let me tell you, I LOVE Led Zeppelin. I LOVE to dance to some rap from the dirty south. I’m not even joking. There is an aspect of this that says that if the meat was sacrificed to demons, I’m not going to be afraid of it. I’ll eat it up, no stranglehold on me at all. It’s just meat, and God made it. See?
I find so much reflection of God in art. All that is for another post, but I do acknowledge that ALL THINGS can be redeemed, and that to the pure ALL THINGS are pure. There truly is freedom.
I’m not trying to be Rule Girl in any way. But I read Old Testament and the New, and I see God’s distaste for witchcraft, and I see His rejection of cultural acceptance of false gods (which can also include beauty and money), and I want to love Him with all my heart, soul, and strength. With that in mind, I have to question these things. I have to.
I wish I had not have written “But” in the second sentence of the last paragraph because I do believe it’s possible to care about our actions in light of God’s goodness while simultaneously not being legalistic – a rule girl.
When I said “you”, I should have been more clear that I meant every one, not just you personally
I agree, our God is stronger than all. My pastor is hell bent against babushka dolls… something about household Gods… but I also know if I pray over them (if they in fact needed to be) then they would be clean, and nothing more than pretty dolls. Oh, and I read Harry Potter, much to his chagrin, and endless course of arguments.
I am sure Halloween is great fun. I love dressing up as much as the next person, and I’m sure my kids would have a ball. As I said, it’s not an Australian thing, so as a nation, it’s not something that is done very much. (*sigh* I wish I could be as articulate as you! moving on.) Like you, I also can’t ignore God’s stance on witchcraft… and this is the article that convinced me we should leave well enough alone.
http://sarahwalstonsblog.wordpress.com/2009/10/29/christians-and-halloween/ I agree totally that things can be redeemed, but I don’t think I make that work in this case. I keep thinking about the verse in 1 Thessalonians 5:21 – 22 “Test all things; hold fast to what is good. Abstain from every form of evil.” I think, and this may get me flamed, that Satan enjoys that we have “dumbed it down” in regards to Halloween, and made it “harmless fun”. By making it cute, he draws us in to celebrating something we shouldn’t even entertain the thought of. He’s not called the angel of light for nothing. The reason we sin in the first place is because the temptation looks appealing.
I am really sorry if I’m offending people. I realise I’m probably the only person who feels this way. I’ve not grown up with Halloween as a big part of my childhood, so I don’t have the emotional connections to it that I’m sure many of you have. Please hear my heart in my words.
I hear your heart Jen. Don’t worry. I was hardly even responding to your comment as I was to the larger issue.
I honestly feel even more strongly about this today than I did yesterday.
Here we are writing about the Deeper Story. I just want to peel it all back. For freedom’s sake, not for the sake of making someone feel bad about one more thing.
Thank you for bringing the scripture into it. It’s hard to ignore. I’ve been praying about my own fear issues, and my freedom from those has been learning about the fear of the LORD. I know He’s leading me on this journey. I’m not there yet. For now, I know, too, that most of us are just doing the best we can.
Yup. That’s all we can do. And I hope I didn’t come across all rude and rule-girly. These are MY feeling, from MY research and prayer time. So sorry if it didn’t come across that way.
love your honesty amber. i remember a stopping point in my childhood as well, when it came to halloween. my husband though, said his mom decorated every year and they always dressed up. we decided we would celebrate and use it as an opportunity to be hospitable- i think sarah markley wrote about that recently. so we dress our kids up and try to steer clear of the dark things- just in life in general but especially at halloween. this year i will have super girl and batman on my hands. who knows what next year will hold!
thanks for sharing.
I love this Melissa, and I do agree that it’s a beautiful opportunity for hospitality. In that very neighborhood I wrote about, there was a family (and maybe their community group) who gathered in their front yard. They had a cotton candy machine, passed out tons of candy and small tokens that let every one know that Jesus was the reason they shined like they did. It was shoved down throats, so very well done. Their yard was full of ghosts and vampires. Who doesn’t love cotton candy?
I had forgotten about that until now. Thanks, Melissa!
Sorry. I meant to say that it was NOT shoved down throats.
I think Christians should either do Halloween or not, but stop with this “Fall Festival” nonsense. If you don’t think your God can handle kids dressed up like vampires and ghosts, then own that.
You know what? I apologize. I think I’ve read about 20 posts about Halloween in the past week and I think I’ve finally snapped. I’ll just keep my mouth shut.
Oh shoot. Seriously, KatR, I totally get it. I don’t want to float about this life just going with the flow. Pretty much ALWAYS if everybody’s doing it, I’m going to question it. That is also my personality.
So if you get October 31 as your post date on Deeper Story, I didn’t know what to do but write about Halloween.
HA! Yes, I guess if you get that date, you sort of have to write about Halloween. Falling down on the job otherwise.
KatR – I feel the same way. Halloween has never bothered me. My parents were secular but it was just always a time of getting together with my friends and getting free candy from our neighbors.
I guess I didn’t realize how important Halloween has become, important as in should we or shouldn’t we, until this year when I’ve read dozens of posts about the To-Do or Not-To-Dos of Halloween.
I wasn’t raised in a secular home, but the church I was raised in just had a plain Halloween party every year. (Of course, I was raised Episcopalian, half way down the road to hell already). And even though the party was called That Which Shall Not Be Named, it was a perfectly fun, harmless event.
And I guess I’m not shutting up about this. Shocker!
Dear KatR, thanks for commenting.
The real issue is whether or not I can handle it. Not in any way whatsoever do I question my God and what he can handle. There’s nothing to own but my weakness here. If I believe in a spirit world, then how do I live that out? Am I being honest if I don’t question Halloween? Wouldn’t it be fake if I didn’t at least double check my motives? I would honestly like to “do” Halloween for the simple fact that candy is yummy and getting my kids out of the house is Needed!
I’m not trying to add another rule to the list of how to be Good. I don’t even think that list exists. This is about Spirit here, not about dressing up like vampires and ghosts. I’m a person who translates the world very mystically. I know not all people are like that.
Harvest festivals are just a way to have fun while trying to keep the dark stuff out. If you come to my door with blood dripping from your mouth, I guaren-dagum-tee I’ll love your creativity and give you extra tootsie rolls.
I must not have been clear. What is on the outside of our bodies is NOT the point. My question is the Spirit. Do we or do we not believe that there is more than what meets the eye? If we do, then shouldn’t we at least ponder what goes on on days like today?
We want to celebrate life. Sometimes when we do that, costumes are involved.
EXACTLY! I straddle the fence here. Is there a fine line that can/should be walked? “If I believe in a spirit world, then how do I live that out?” I don’t know. My parents didn’t join the non-denom boycott Halloween movement until I was out of that phase (apparently as they didn’t allow my brothers to trick or treat, but I don’t remember that at all!!!) and now they are much more “relaxed” about it all. I like the festive, imaginative “dress-up” part and don’t want my kids to miss out on that part of American culture. However, I recognize the very real spiritual aspects of it that I do NOT want to allow in our lives. I can feel that darkness, and it’s icky, creepy-crawly. I have friends and relatives who celebrate the Wiccan part of it, and, to be honest, it FREAKS ME OUT. All that darkness. But I remain quiet, opinion to myself. I think we’re pretty normal people – kids go to public school, wear nail polish, and eat Kraft Macaroni & cheese. I don’t believe in “shoving my Christianity down people’s throats.” I don’t find that a good selling tactic and in no way demonstrative of God’s love. I do allow the kids to dress up, but nothing scary or evil. We talk about how we don’t want to celebrate evil, that it doesn’t honor God, and that’s why “No, you’ll never be able to dress up as the Scream guy.” But… I still question if that’s still too close to the fire. Idk.
Just today I read an article written for Christianity Today several years ago that I think has a great perspective. Christians redeemed the Pagan holiday of winter solstice, why not Halloween? And, like you said, isn’t it a good thing to show kids that adults still have imaginations? Doesn’t it take some imagination to reflect on the Divine and an unseen world that is real? Here’s the address for the article: http://www.christianitytoday.com/ct/2000/october2/29.79.html. It’s called “Matters of Opinion: Hallowing Halloween.”
Yes! I love that.
I have to admit that Halloween is a tough on for me. On the one hand, I’ll just say it straight up. I have yet to attend a “Harvest Party” that wasn’t at least a little bit lame. And when I see the kids in my neighborhood dressing up and having fun, I have to smile with them a little bit. However, I can’t help wondering if in the midst of all their fun, there isn’t something unseen that we’re giving entirely too much attention to by celebrating Halloween. There’s a certain darkness under all the fun and games that I don’t feel comfortable with.
Well you said exactly my heart in about 500 fewer words!
I don’t know. I think you say it a lot more poetically. This piece did get me to thinking out loud over on my blog, though. I think I’m just a little Halloweened out this year – it seems like it becomes a bigger holiday every year and I don’t think I like that.
amber, you did a great job of revealing the tension that is the Christian life – being in the world but not of it. i wrote a post about halloween on my blog yesterday that expresses much of the same sentiment – let’s not judge people who hand out Bibles instead of candy, or our neighbors who decorate with gory limbs because we each have to do what we feel is right for ourselves.
http://saltandgrace.wordpress.com/2011/10/30/and-now-a-word-about-halloween/
EXACTLY! Thank you, Cara.
Amber, I struggle here. I really do. Before I read your post, I read one of my “daily quote” emails and it said this: “Satan never sells his poisons naked — he always gilds them before he vends them.” — Charles H. Spurgeon
And I was feeling like, “yeah! you tell’em, Reverend Spurgeon!”.
But then I read your post and I thought about our grandkids (the seven that live close by). The sad truth is that they don’t get many treats of any kind. Their parents didn’t plan very well for how they would support seven kids and so every day is a financial struggle. We can’t do a whole lot of fun things for the grandkids because, honestly, our money is tied up in paying the mortgage on the house they live in. We see giving them a home more important than giving them fun. Anyway. Getting to dress up and go about the neighborhood getting free candy is something those kids really enjoy. They don’t mind making costumes out of whatever is laying around. And they plan it out – how they will share the candy and how long they can stretch that candy out so it won’t just be a one-night treat. I’m not a real fan of Halloween, but I want my grandkids to have fun.
Right after I started typing this, I got a text message from my ex-daughter-in-law, whom I adore. She wished me a Happy Halloween. The problem there is that I know she is not a Christian and I know that she has some pagan beliefs (she gets touchy about it, so I have never had a full explanation about what exactly she believes). Halloween has a big significance for her.
I’m torn. How do I reconcile my grandkids getting dressed up for this “holiday” but tell myself that it has nothing to do with what their aunt is celebrating on the very same day? Especially when the tradition of dressing up did come from some of those pagan rituals? I so wish we could find some lost letter from Peter or Paul or John that said, “oh, yeah, about Halloween. This is what you do…”
oh friend, i’m torn like you are. i actually wrote about it last night at my blog (http://canvaschild.blogspot.com/2011/10/on-raising-fearless-children-and-why.html)… just love the way you think things through, and the way you bury your face in your hands and shake your head.
Emily, I love what you said in your post about raising your kids fearless, and how God shines brighter than any jack-o-lantern!
Does it really matter? I mean, I’m more concerned about the 13-year-old and her mom picking out a super “sexy” fireman costume out of the adult section of the Halloween shop. I work with college aged students. Many young women see Halloween as a time to get a little less dressed than they would normally.
However, I see that going on all over – Lindsay Lohan isn’t the only young woman in trouble, and I doubt her troubles stemmed from participating in Halloween.
I don’t think we need a reason to celebrate. If I’m having a good day I like to walk around with a big smile on my face, maybe go out to dinner with some friends, sing in the car, put on some make-up (I never wear make-up). Does this mean I’m doing something wrong?
I just don’t get it. I don’t have kids. Maybe that’s why the Halloween thing isn’t an issue with me. I do think, though, the church – as in many mainstream churches – have taken to protesting too much over nitpicky things when there is so much more problems to worry about than Halloween. How do we teach our young woman self-worth? How do we teach our young men to treat women with respect and equality? How can we – millions of members strong (billions?) – stand up against the regime’s in Ruwanda so that no more little kids, who would LOVE free candy at Halloween, don’t have to starve anymore?
To me, those are much bigger issues than what does Halloween mean. The acts of the devil play out every single day, even in us. For me I often forget that it doesn’t matter what the homeless guy does with the money I give him; instead what matters is that I give him something with a joyful and unresentful heart. When I walk past him and judge him for being a lazy, drugged out bum, that’s not God’s work being done.
Origins of Halloween, from the History Channel: http://www.history.com/topics/halloween. Just in case we all forgot what Halloween really is. I do have to ask – if we are going to scrutinize Halloween, I think we need to take a much closer look at Valentine’s Day: http://www.history.com/topics/valentines-day.
I agree that all these things are HUGE deals, and I hope my life reflects that, too.
I’m not concerned about the meaning of Halloween. I think most are well-meaning. I’m concerned about what’s behind Halloween, not the history, but what’s happening in our very midst, today.
Oh my goodness, I’ve shirked every ounce of my coolness huh?
I think my own history has as much to play in this story as does the history of Halloween.
I missed a huge point in your post and I’m glad you replied back to me so I could think on it some more. Your concern about what’s behind Halloween and what’s happening around us in the present.
I haven’t given it much thought and I would love to hear more from you about this and what you’re observing. I bet we’re seeing the same things and I’m just not connecting it to Halloween. I hope you have time to reply back. This could be a pretty eye opening conversation!
To be honest, every time I read a post in this blog I am challenged to take a step back and look at my faith and consider it. What do I really believe? What am I believing so I’ll be accepted? What do I have a problem with that the church would have me believe? So I appreciate it when you all post.
Thank you, WENDI! Seriously, I spent the whole day Monday totally bummed that I hadn’t been more clear with my point. This post is absolutely about what’s happening right now in our spiritual midst.
The truth is that I don’t want anything to do with it if my Spirit is telling me what I think it is. I’m not sure that if I expressed it in words, I’d be right. It’s a Hallowed Day probably for a legitimate reason.
Yesterday my best friend told me that a little boy at her son’s school scolded him for celebrating Satan’s Birthday! Ahhhhh! I laughed so hard.
I don’t know what’s happening in the Spirit world. I just know that I’m very uneasy, and I have to battle hard to keep it together this time of year, and I KNOW I’m not the only one out there that feels this way.
You? Should we feel this way all the time? Am I just a crazy person?
You are not a crazy person. If that were the case, we’d all be locked up.
I have to admit that I’ve noticed a change in myself, which might be God’s whispering, over the last couple of years during this particular time of the year. My husband and I are big movie buffs. We like a good thriller, a good scary movie (not gross movies); but over the last few years there’s been this almost explosion of “ghost hunting” shows. Syfy Channel alone has at least four shows that focus on the supernatural.
Originally, I thought Ghost Hunters was pretty tame, and I still believe that to some extent. But when I started looking into other shows – Paranormal State, Ghost Adventures, Psychic Kids – it gets pretty creepy. So I started noticing how I felt during this time of the year because I started noticing that I had this uncomfortable feeling, as if I was over indulging in something unhealthy for me. I hope this make sense. This was also accompanied by this feeling of being stopped, like a pressure to skip past those shows when flipping through the channels.
I have to wonder, especially the show Paranormal State (which no longer airs), if there isn’t an opening somehow, an invitation to allow the wrong things into our world. By over saturating the public with ghosts and people who are possessed isn’t a way to desensitize people to the truth. Hey, take two episodes of a girl who is supposedly possessed not just by a demon but by the devil himself. Add a bit of holy water, some taunting at the demons and an “exorcism” and she’s perfectly fine.
Then again, if we look at a lot of media today we would probably see a lot more ways that the degradation of society is at work (Kim and Kris Humphries wedding and 72 day marriage…there goes the sanctity of marriage, and people worry about gay marriage!)
I think we need to listen to those quiet voices and feelings in our minds, the ones that aren’t shouting at us but are asking us do we really need what we are about to watch, do we really need to do what we are about to do, etc.
Amber, thanks for your candor here. I totally get your discomfort. I’ve been there myself. Here is my perspective. I grew up celebrating Halloween – but we lived on a farm, and only trick-or-treated at my aunt’s and grandparents, and the two farms in between. It wasn’t until I was in high school and my mom started going to Aglow meetings that Halloween suddenly became “wrong”. (She dressed us up as witches, for crying out loud!) But I was older, and it didn’t really matter to me if I didn’t go trick or treating anymore.
Fast forward to when I have kids. The churches we attended when they were little all had Harvest Parties, and I decided that this was a good alternative. It was always on trick or treat night, so it was an easy out for me. My husband never completely agreed with me, but he went along with what I wanted to do. (Easter and bunnies always bothered him more than Halloween and costumes.) It wasn’t until just a few years ago that I started letting my kids trick or treat, and here is why: My best friends in the whole world (Christians in love with Jesus) celebrated it – and I mean CELEBRATED it! Parties, decorations, elaborate costumes,, and (gasp) trick or treating. I had to stop and ask myself some hard questions. I realized (for me – not judging anyone here) that I had adopted a holier-than-thou attitude about it, and judged people who celebrated and trick or treated, almost measuring their level of Christianity by if they celebrated Halloween or not. But these were my friends! I had come to know their hearts – were they “less than” Christians? No, they weren’t. And I’m so ashamed that this was my attitude in the past.
Recently, both of my boys have walked away from the Lord. In my pain and prayers and searching for answers, I stumbled across something in a blog I read about faith and science, and the statement was made that some young people are turning away from the faith because they cannot reconcile what they believe to be scientific fact with what has been taught to them about creation. (I know it probably sounds like I’m digressing, but hear me out. And please – I am NOT trying to start any sort of debate on creation here!) I homeschool, and when my oldest was in middle school, we started studying science using a Christian homeschooling curriculum (which I have now come to realize is not totally accurate.) He had questions, good ones – but my answers always were that God created it and evolution was wrong, God is God and we are not, and that was the end of the discussion. Just like Halloween. It was evil and wrong, and good Christians didn’t celebrate it. Period. (Ouch. I so wish I could go back in time.)
And now… Well, I’ve had to apologize to him and his brother. And we’ve had some great talks! I had to tell him that what I held on to so strongly 15 years ago and taught as being the only truth – I don’t necessarily believe any more. And I can’t help but wonder – could my hard line have possibly pushed them away from Christ? Maybe. I struggle with the guilt. But I’m holding on to the verse – He who started a good work will be faithful to complete it. I pray that over my boys. I still have hope that they will return to Him.
In my search for answers, I found A Deeper Story. You all weren’t afraid to talk about the hard stuff, and I realized that I wasn’t alone in my questions. It’s OK that I don’t have all the answers. It’s OK that I question and doubt. And I would have thought that my doubts would have made me less secure in my faith, but I’ve actually found the opposite to be true. I don’t have all the answers, but it’s really OK, because I don’t HAVE to have all the answers. I can rest knowing that He does. And that’s where I am with Halloween. Trying to do what I think He would want me to do.
gosh, your candor here is beautiful, georgi.
Yes, yes, yes. I so get it. Our little guy will dress up tonight and visit some neighbours. And my husband will be at our church handing out candy – our church’s attempt to try to provide a safe space on Halloween night and connect with neighbourhood kids. But I’m always torn about the roots of this night, and wonder if we’re “sugar-coating” something that is a potential danger…so hard to figure out just where the line is…or should be…
I have never been torn about Halloween because I call it for what it has become…a commercialized holiday that my kids enjoy. I have read posts and articles about the history but, as another commenter mentioned, many of our “Christian” holidays are borrowed or have roots in paganism.
My boys are older now (18, 15, 14) so our days of trick or treating are over but I look back fondly on those days of little policemen and on one occasion, a little skunk. Now, I enjoy giving out candy to neighborhood kids and hot cider to their parents.
I admire your heart on this, Amber and think that all of us have to operate from our own convictions. I am just speaking as one mama who hasn’t been convicted that Halloween is a bad thing.
There are pictures of me dressed up as a pumpkin when I was a baby but my parents decided fairly early on in my childhood that we would not celebrate Halloween. Instead, they’d take me and my brother out to eat at Wendy’s or to a movie and then they’d always give us our own candy so we wouldn’t feel left out. I could understand their reasoning but truthfully, I wanted to dress up and go door to door and comb through my candy stash afterward. I went to a Christian grammar school and no one was allowed to dress up during the school day but ironically most of my classmates would trick or treat. I was so excited when my parents let me go to a friend’s Halloween party in 8th grade. I dressed up as a hippie and I rocked that look. And you’d better believe I went to as many Halloween parties as I could once I got to college.
I don’t have children so I only have to answer the question of Halloween for myself right now. I see the fun, playful side of Halloween and I get that. But I hate scary things. I can’t watch ads for horror movies and I don’t even like walking past aisles of Halloween decor at stores. Why the decapitated heads and zombies and monsters and blood and gore? How does that help us celebrate? It just speaks to the darker roots of this holiday. I believe it’s possible to redeem Halloween, just as Christians redeemed Christmas from its pagan roots, but I don’t know how it would happen. Americans love their haunted houses and Saw movies, for reasons I’ll never understand.
I, for one, don’t think there’s anything wrong with the way Michelle Duggar dresses. I love that she’s modest. For the rest of the post, I agree. I don’t want to celebrate haloween if it’s all creepy and about death. I think we can celebrate it in our own way
.
Pssst. I love love love Michelle Duggar. I just had to sneak back in here and say that, but then I’m heading back out. I feel like the town nutjob!
This is one of those things that cut across the lines of conviction. If one person has a strong conviction to NOT do it, does not make it wrong for someone who finds the freedom TO do it. As with anything else under the sun there are varying levels of celebrating anything. As a believer and follower in Jesus Christ, are we allowing are families and children to speak to the dead with a seance? No. Is it innocent, for the most part? Dressing a child up like an M&M, walking with him through the neighborhood to knock on doors and get some snickers and twizzlers? Yeah, that’s alot more like it.
Based only on my own experience, the more you remove yourself and/or your children from the world, the more tantalizing it becomes. Would we rather stay home, lights out, sitting in the dark scaring ourselves and our kids over some neighbors dressed up because they may or may not be celebrating the “actual” meaning of the day? And God forbid we touch it in any way? Or be with them in it, setting the boundary, having the conversations, asking the questions? It’s no different, in my humble opinion, than movies, music and sex. It must be brought out into the light, in two-way communication, otherwise, it stays in the dark. And I think we all know what happens to things that stay in the dark.
I was praying this morning about some people I know that are agnostic/athiest, many are into the world of warcraft and magic kind of thing. And I don’t know what to do, how to handle it. I have more legalism and judgemental attitudes in my past to draw from than grace. As I was praying two words came to me………JUST LOVE.
If we shut them out based on what they believe, how is that like Jesus?
To go back to the old cliche’ bracelets of a few years back, “What would Jesus do?” If He were walking the earth today? In your town? On your street? Would He be in His Father’s house praying for all the lost and broken walking on the sidewalks, begging for candy? Would He be huddled in a dark house, afraid of what was going on “out there”? Or would He be smack dab in the middle of it, because of His connection to His Father and the heart for the lost and broken? How else will they see the Light, if it isn’t on?
Man, I love this… of course you know I love your heart!!!
Check out what I posted below, friend. You will see my journey through all this….
Love ya!
we didn’t celebrate Halloween when I was a child. We did go to harvest festivals at church. Do you know what? I was petrified. I was always a frightened child, and fear ruled my life into adulthood. I wonder at that, because I never was exposed to evil, not really. I lived in the suburbs in a strong baptist-y family. But I think we all KNOW evil right? So…I knew it. I just didn’t ever meet it, never faced it. I didn’t know what would happen if I did.
I think it’s like the original fairy tales. Children are attacked by witches, and wolves and giants…and they fight back. I want my kids to see evil face to face, in a childlike measure of course. I want them to feel a sense of victory over it, I don’t want them to run away.
I do understand the whole witchcraft thing. The costumes! Ack. I think, for us, we will not go to haunted houses, or places where witchcraft, torture, etc. are promoted as fun. But, in our neighborhood we will walk out and meet our neighbors. If they look like wolves and zombies, that’s okay. We will give them candy anyway.
I think you’re right. It’s probably a faith thing. We shouldn’t judge each other on this.
This is really a great question and one I’ve been asking myself since becoming a mom nearly 4 years ago. I did allow my daughter to go Trick or Treating her first year because someone bought her a cute little costume and they wanted to all go out together. I wasn’t sure what to say and being a young mom still trying to find my way I just said, yes. Now this year she wants to be a superhero and I now have a one year old son. My in-laws are here and my father in law is a pastor. We talked about Halloween briefly the other night and they too seem to not be certain where they stand. Some years they let their kids go Trick or Treating, other years they did not. I trust my in-laws, they are the most unconditional loving example of Christ I think I’ve ever seen, I can say that about my husband too. Not to mention well grounded and stand for truth (but not in any way offending or hurting others but loving them in that truth). I still will ask myself this question next Halloween, ‘should I let my children go? should we take part in this?’ I love the fall, but I also feel extremely uncomfortable this time of year and I shy away from zombies and blood and Halloween parties and scary corn mazes full of mini Jason’s with chainsaws. I want to love people, I do not want them to feel judged by me. But I also want to love Heavenly Father and please Him, I don’t want to even barely tangle with something He clearly has a great amount of disdain for….. still, I’ll ask the question and struggle each year I think….. ultimately all I can do is talk to God about it and pray He gives me insight on how to love without taking part in the ritual….
Love, love, love this, Amber. These are serious questions I’ve been thinking about lately too and you have presented them with grace. I shall not dip my toe in trying to answer them, but I will say I do think that Halloween robbed the Church of All Saints and All Souls with a thin veil of playacting Darkness. How to respond … that I’m still thinking on.
I guess I just don’t feel right.
Thank you, Preston.
You’re very welcome, friend.
I like you Preston.
I have decided and that is that.
Haha, well thank you! I like you too!
I always went trick-or-treating as a child, and it turned me into a SATANIST. Oh wait, no, that was just a sugar rush…. Halloween bugs me because of all the work I have to do (making costumes for 5 kids?! Not my chosen pastime) and all the candy, which contradicts my nutritional and ethical values (not a lot of fair-trade chocolate being passed out). But my kids LOVE dressing up, and even more so, the hunt for the kill (a.k.a. free candy). A couple of years ago, after all my feet-dragging, we ended up having soup with neighbors, then went around the neighborhood and met our neighbors! It was lovely! There was a lot of, “hey, I know you from the dog park! And this is where you live, wow! These are my kids…” I feel like there are a LOT of things in this world that need re-naming for Christ (like Christmas, and rainbows), so I’m going to ask myself if October 31st wouldn’t be a great day for me to set aside to consider the legacies our grandparents left us, to remember our roots… My kids didn’t really even get to meet their great-grandparents, and we don’t talk about them every day. Where do costumes and candy fit in? Well, maybe that’s just fun…but if my kids grow up and say, “on Halloween we always had soup with the neighbors and drew a family tree and talked about Janet the Great,” that would be awesome. And I feel like that would be honoring God in my parenting, and that is my end goal so I’m good with that. Amber, I think this is a really good thing to wrestle with God about as we aim to take all thoughts (and holidays?) captive for Christ! Thanks for writing about it!
Thanks for writing this. I really appreciate it! We’re expecting our first child in January, and today I’m thinking about how we will deal with future Halloweens — trick or treat? ignore? do a “harvest party”? It’s pretty confusing.
Funny you wrote about the very topic I was going to sit my kids down today and talk about. I just wanted my children to be very clear about why we don’t make a big deal of this day. I don’t want to get into an argument with anyone about the origin of Halloween, whether it’s Christian or not. It’s very simple. I’m going to tell me kids that regardless of its origin, TODAY the way Halloween is celebrated is not about whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is noble… We are going to review that verse Phil. 4:8.
They can see that from people’s decorations. Secondly, I agree with you that there are other spiritual beings that are just as real as Jesus, and it’s not wise for us and our children to mess with them and think it’s all fun and game. We will read a couple of verses about that too, as soon as I find them.
What a beautiful and gracious posting. I love this line – “There are beautiful parts of personalities that come out on nights like Halloween that shouldn’t be inhibited the whole rest of the year, bottled up bravery and personality poured out on that one day.”
I love the way you were able to struggle with this without assigning judgment, to sit with the tension of not really knowing. Thanks for your honesty!
i should not participate in this conversation because i do not have kids, and i KNOW my attitude towards Halloween would change drastically if i were parent. however, i still see where you’re coming from. and – as much as i love a good ole celebration of monsters and death and the devil: because they’re all real and inevitable anyway – i still shelter even myself a little bit every year at this time. i don’t want to see how people turn a day that’s suppose to be fun into a lingerie costume party. i don’t want to see people use a holiday as an excuse to act like crazy person and like their masks conceal all. i’m not into that. i keep myself close to home at this time of year. we load up on candy, i break out some R-rated DVDs, we crank the Misfits and Danzig, and we keep it close to home. i’m lame in that way. and i’m constantly in conversation with myself and with God (?) – i guess it’s God i’m talking to about it – my fascination with death and monsters and the unseen things that roam the earth. i have so many more thoughts on this but i also have a class in ten minutes. you’re golden, Mrs. Haines. and i’m proud of you for doing what you feel needs to be done for them boys. you can always switch it up in the future, but you can’t rewrite the past. and if you feel this is your current path, then do it. i’ve never met a judgemental or timid bone in your or your husband’s body. but i’ve seen you both willing to risk any massive degree of social suicide to love people and love God the way you see fit. high fives and pass the Butterfingers.
i don’t know why i said that my attitude about Halloween would “DRASTICALLY CHANGE” if i had kids. i’d probably still keep it real close to home. my apologies for a conflicted comment. i was in a rush and didn’t explain myself well. alls i’m saying is that i’m closer to your idea here, mrs. haines, than i am with the majority of america. so be it. i’m the hypocritical wannabe dad who loves slasher flicks but wouldn’t want his kid trolling around the neighborhood begging for candy. wasn’t it walt whitman who said “I am large – I contain paradoxes.” well, wurrde to uncle walt. he always says it better.
I’m so glad you’re my brother. Uncle Walt would be proud.
Thank you for writing about Halloween. I’m from New Zealand and Halloween has never really been a very big deal over here, certainly not while I was growing up. Now it’s becoming more prominent, and this seems to be purely from a money-making perspective with stores selling costumes and ads on tv. Because it was never a part of our culture, it always did seem scary and a bit “wrong” or “evil”. From a distance, why would anyone want to dress up as horrible, scary evil creatures? It doesn’t make a lot of sense to most of us. Here most churches hold “light” parties – where kids dress up, as whatever they want, and come along for fun and music etc. These are as an alternative to Halloween and trick-or-treating and kids love them, but then some kids do both!
I appreciate reading your perspective as Americans and seeing that this has been all about having fun and being outrageous. It helps to understand the whole thing within the context of a believer in Jesus. But I think I will always disagree with it, and that it will always make me feel uncomfortable, because I did not grow up with Halloween as fun – I grew up with stories of witches who would pray over the candy in the grocery store and plant razor blades in the chocolate bars. This was probably urban myth but was the sort of stuff that you heard all the time.
Thank you for opening the tin of worms! Bless you
Thank you for the blessing.
We take some and leave some.
There’s something to be said about the trip to the pumpkin patch, carving the jack-o-lantern and getting together with neighbours for candy. That said, I’m not into haunted houses, scary Halloween programing or evil/tasteless costumes, so we don’t participate in those ways.
I just wrote about this today. I too have a problem with the glorification of gore and torture, I can’t even watch commercials for horror films, so that’s not ever going to be part of the holiday for me. But I see no problem with family traditions and fun, creativity in making a costume, and a little bit of spookiness.
Thank you for your honest post, Amber. I have struggled with what to do with Halloween for years (my oldest is 17)! I half pretend it isn’t here but can’t really explain it to my kids. Sometimes we go out (dressed as a superhero, an athlete, an animal, a soldier, or royalty, of course), sometimes we don’t. I am more convicted that we shouldn’t celebrate, but I too feel sad that my children will miss out on the fun I had trick-or-treating. I guess we need to go with our convictions and not judge others.
One alternative for us the past few years, though, has been to have fun in some other way (party with friends, movie and snack night, etc.). That way we aren’t missing out on the fun aspect!
Maybe I will be an oddball. Hopefully I will not offend anyone…..
I dressed up every Halloween until I was too old to want to. I loved going trick or treating. It was one of the highlights of the fall season. I grew up in the church. It wasn’t a big deal. No one worshipped satan … it was just a fun day to dress up, and get candy. The focus was not on satan or the witches or evil. It was on the candy.
Fast forward many years to the season of having my own young children. In comes all the data that suggests that if I allow my kids to celebrate I am celebrating a day set aside by evil for evil. I couldn’t have that. Instead we attended fall festivals or the children were in fall plays at the church. There was no dressing up or trick or treating in their world. We even turned off the lights in the house and hid in a room so no one would know we were home. We didn’t want to have to answer the door and tell them we were not giving out candy…
Fast forward to around 2001. We moved into a neighborhood. It was strange enough that we were the ONLY home schooling family in the neighborhood, let alone that we had a large family (5 kids). You would have thought we had a 3rd eye. Halloween came around. The neighborhood had celebrations in a big way. Our kids begged to go. It was time to think it all through, pray it all out…. so we did.
Our children went trick or treating that year and every year since. We realized we are fully God loving man and woman who has never, ever been swayed to the dark side because of our participation as a trick or treater … It’s a fun day of dressing up to get a bag full of candy. It came down to this for us. Doesn’t God look on the motives of our hearts?
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it…
Oh I love it. Thanks for sharing.
Simply put…..I love you, your story and God who lives through you. It’s refreshing, freeing and yes, sometimes that makes you an oddball. (((hugs)))
Kiki Malone…
You are a man of great aficion, a fighter of bulls, a wrestler of alligators.
And I love a good Butterfinger and Breakfast Stout to boot!
So, my friend, it takes thick skin to write at Deeper Story, yes? “I commend you for your bravery,” says the chicken.
Hubs and I sort of take every decision we make: school, extracurricular activities, family traditions, on a year by year basis. We have to evaluate what worked before, what level of maturity our kids have now, and what is Truth – every year. It’s good to revisit that. So I can sit here tonight and type to you what our stance was this year, but I know that we have the freedom to revisit that next year. That’s what Grace is, yes?
My biggest concern with Halloween has been protecting my children’s eyes and minds from imagery that is upsetting and un-praiseworthy. Quite frankly, I’ve always been afraid of horror movies and scary things. I’m a visual sort of girl. Of course, so are some of my kids. And as much as I love my neighbors, I cannot control the costume choices or home decor they decide to employ this time of year. My children are blessed with vivid imaginations and wild dreams. I see no need to lose hours of sleep later in the name of sugar consumption and “because it’s supposed to be fun.”
In a few years, it probably won’t matter. Our goal is to raise discerning children and to help them learn to protect their own eyes. But tonight, I asked my children to trust me with their heart and their eyes. I asked them to wait to answer the door until I’d had a peek first. I asked them to trust that I knew they might not be ready for the scary stuff.
I feel strongly about making sure our neighbors know we care about them and we enjoy seeing their kids all done up. I try not to say anything about Halloween to them other than that we can’t wait to hand out candy. Because it’s true. I know my children’s hearts, they know their children’s hearts. I leave it to them to make decisions for their family. Just like I stand with my friends at the bus stop on the first day of their kids’ kindergarten and cry with them, even if my kids aren’t joining in. Because we’re community and I love them. Whether we make the same choices or not.
Tonight, my kids snuck (sneaked?) upstairs and slid into some of their costumes they already had so they could answer the door in the spirit of things and take a peek at their friends. They honestly were just as happy to wave to their friends and shriek about the candy choices. And nobody went to bed scared. Win. But I don’t know that I explained everything as well as I could have. Something to ask the husband to tackle… (giggle – I love handing those conversations off to him. such a relief!)
I think I’m with you, that I have a problem with the spirit behind Halloween. And I’m not really sure if that’s just my background talking, or if that’s The Spirit at work. Which is why we have made the decision on a yearly basis, taking into account what our kids can handle. But I have an uneasiness, a sense that “all in good fun” is too grey for the Gospel. I mean, we wax poetic about Christmas Change and finding meaning in it. Is it too much to apply the same questions and principles to other holidays? Is not “every moment captive?”
But maybe it’s all hypocritical of me, because I’m totally with you about breaking it down to some rap music…
I spin in circles with you, my friend.
LL, we have got to be kin.
Or maybe just from Alabama.
You’re just real people to me. Seriously thank you for this comment. It’s exactly YES to me. So many detailed thoughts. So much sleepy head. I love you, friend. Right on.
This is the tension I feel as well — I believe the spirit world is real and that Satan is active (a case in point would be how he has corrupted the fun part of the holiday). And yet, can we not participate in some parts while rejecting others? We have become so dichotomistic — things are all good or all bad — and there are some things that certainly ARE, but I just don’t believe life is that simple. And we are called to wrestle with these things! Wresting with you …
You just made me smile. I love this post. I can uh… relate.
Dear Amber, Thank you so much for this post and thank you to everyone for all your comments! There has been some fantastic feedback from both sides. Unfortunately, I’m still so confused on the issue and what I think I should ‘decide’ about Halloween. I wrote a post on my own blog, which gives you some idea of my head space… http://foreverspringtime.blogspot.com/2011/11/halloween-and-can-of-worms.html... but even those thoughts are not really eloquent or all that decisive. I need to re-read all of your comments again with a little more ‘intention’ and see if I can get to the bottom of where my heart truly lies… and perhaps I should take it to our loving Father in prayer as well!
Sorry… the comment picked up the dots at the end of the link I left, so takes you somewhere non existent… just in case you were interested in my head space, here it is again, without the dots this time! http://foreverspringtime.blogspot.com/2011/11/halloween-and-can-of-worms.html
Ahh.. it’s so confusing. I have Christian friends who don’t touch Halloween. Me, I like it, it’s FUN!! And I’m a spirit-filled charismatic Christian who believes Satan is active. Why would I participate? I don’t know and I can’t figure out my thinking on this if I’m honest. My mom was the same, some years we trick-or-treated and some years we didn’t. I don’t dress up because I don’t like doing that, but I love being screaming and being ‘scared’ by stupid movies like Ghostbusters, eating sugary candy I’d never eat normally, decorating the house with spiders, cobwebs and fake blood (so sue me, haa!) for a party, and most especially carving a pumpkin and roasting the pumpkin seeds. That was this year. I have several Christian friends who were not impressed, but for me it’s just a fun reminder of my childhood. I don’t know how I’d be with my own kids. In one sense, it’s an acknowledgement of the evil in the world and a sort of ‘de-scarying’ of it. I know I laughed so much listening to the ‘scary sounds’ CD at the party. There is something in me that loves to scream and laugh at the stereotypically ‘scary’ stuff. I am not actually afraid of that stuff, warewolves, demons and the like, I know I already have the authority in Christ over all of it. I just don’t want to take it that seriously, if I’m honest. It’s just pretend-scared. But why would I go there? I mean, I wouldn’t touch Twilight, for example. Wow. Yeah.. I can’t figure it out either. Great writing on such an annoyingly confusing topic
We’re not doing it either. I’m glad the boys are still little enough for us to not have to explain why this year, because it is hard to explain, but we just don’t feel right about it. Different is what we’re called to, right? Ah, well. Love you guys!
I can totally respect the questioning–it’s good.
And I love that you, Amber, nod your head towards your personality and the way God has wired your spirit.
Even in my marriage, I’ve had to draw the line on entertainment–where my husband doesn’t have convictions about violence on TV, in movies–to him, it’s part of the plot, the story–for me, I know those images will stick with me, when my head hits the pillow, they’re there with me, and I don’t care how bad he had it coming to him, that man on the ground was a mother’s baby at one point and it grieves me. So, I pay attention to my spirit and I chalk up a lot of my convictions to the way my Father has made me and I pray to not callous any sensitivities he’s granted me. And all the while, trying not to slip into the too-easy-for-me response of judging others, husband especially, when they come to different conclusions.
All that to say, I love your freedom to question, despite the hard drawn lines in the sand, on both sides, shouting for your loyalty.
Amber, I totally feel you on this one. I was raised with no trick-or-treating and etc and always thought, “My kids will get to trick or treat, dang it!”
Honestly, I’m still working it out. We took Miles this year. Next year? Don’t know yet.
I just hate that you feel misunderstood here. I know you and your heart. This IS the place to work out hard questions and I love how you did it.
As a kid, we rarely celebrated Halloween. I know I went trick-or-treating a couple of times with friends, but I will never forget the year I thought I was allowed to go and as I was leaving, was told no. My parents bought bags of candy to give out, but no one ever came to our door. (Our house was on a wooded lot, not visible from the street. And who’s going to trek in the woods on Halloween, with neighbor’s dogs that bark at you as you go up the driveway?)
Now that I have kids, I’m not comfortable with it. While most see it as harmless fun, it’s still very much about the spooky. And spooky = not good, for me. A friendly ghost is still a ghost. I also have a problem with going to other people’s houses to ask for candy. If candy is that important, I’ll just buy it myself!
This year, we stayed home. I bought several different types of candy and dumped it all on the coffee table. We watched a movie, ate candy, and had a good time. The kiddos loved it and didn’t feel like they missed anything.
PS- my 5 year old saw the picture above and immediately said it was scary. It doesn’t take much…
Amber, thank you for sharing your thoughts. Of course in this time that was leading up to Halloween I began trying to decipher what my thoughts are. I grew up dressing up for Halloween – though we weren’t allowed to be anything like a witch or vampire – and attending the Halloween festival at our local school. We never went trick or treating, except once that I remember, but I don’t know if that was because the whole town of 500 was already at the school or if my parents felt deeper convictions regarding the act of trick or treating.
My husband and I attend a church that is vehemently anti-Halloween. It was there that I learned the dark, and yes satanic histories of the holiday we’ve dressed up as cute and innocent.
My struggle is that while I know what really lies behind Halloween, and that people still celebrate the day for what it actually is…..in this day and age to 99% of the world it’s just a day to dress up and go get free candy.
I have at least a couple more years before my husband and I are forced to make our decision, but that doesn’t make it any easier.