THE UPS & DOWNS OF SINGLENESS: HOLIDAY EDITION

by JenJ

Sometimes singleness is all:

It’s so awesome that I can buy myself a little present when I’m Christmas shopping, go to every holiday party I want, and live in a house that looks like the North Pole without having to check in with anyone! I can eat peppermint ice cream for three meals a day, watch terrible Fa La La La Lifetime movies, and drink eggnog straight out of the carton. LIFE.IS.AWESOME!

And sometimes it’s all:

All By Myself


Just an FYI.

 

The holidays are hard for many of us singles. Loneliness can be loud…a ringing in the ears that can’t be muted. Happy people surround us and even if it’s just a charade, it’s a reminder of what we do not have.

I was sitting with a few girlfriends this weekend, one opened up and allowed herself to be vulnerable. In tears, she said, “I just don’t want to be alone anymore.”

And I get that so much.

I’m tough…I rarely allow myself to go there. But it’s lurking behind the happy facade. If I allow myself to slow down – if I’m not overly programmed during the holiday season, the enemy can easily crack my hard shell.

But the good news is that I’ve learned how I best enjoy the holidays. I decorate and throw parties. I watch insanely cheesy chick flicks (evidence above). I dress up and celebrate with my friends and family. I run a charity project and participate in another. I take time to enjoy the simple things. But despite my best efforts, it’s not a fool proof plan.

Why do I tell you all of this instead of just sharing the funny clip above? Simply to let you in a little and to ask a teensy favor:

Please be sure to check in with the singles in your life this Christmas season and show them a little extra love…otherwise, they might end up half-eaten by wild dogs.

7 Responses to “THE UPS & DOWNS OF SINGLENESS: HOLIDAY EDITION”

  1. Rea December 10, 2013 at 7:50 am #

    Half-eaten by wild dogs…ha!

    I was single all through my 20′s. Single and functionally estranged from my family, so I didn’t even have the ‘extended family Christmas’ to fall back on. It was just me, myself and I and my little Cornish Hen. And I am so grateful that during those years there were several families that essentially adopted me. And not just my friends/church members, but their EXTENDED families. They not only welcomed me into their homes, they made sure there was a gift for me under their tree as well. I still cherish some of those little gifts, but even more the feeling of warmth and belonging to something beyond the walls of my little apartment.

    • JenJ December 10, 2013 at 11:58 am #

      What a blessing…my family has hosted my friend numerous times. I can’t imagine what it would be like not to have my people during this season. So hard!!!

  2. Sarah Bessey December 10, 2013 at 8:51 am #

    No Alsatians are getting near my JJ! Timely reminder, my friend. Thank you.

    • JenJ December 10, 2013 at 11:57 am #

      In doing my online research (ahem – youtubery), I found the British version that says Alsatians…what a crackup that our version says wild dogs. ;-)

  3. Leigh Kramer December 10, 2013 at 2:58 pm #

    A big yes to all of this. I do not want you or I to be eaten by wild dogs.

  4. Cara Strickland December 10, 2013 at 8:29 pm #

    Love this Jen. I’m also a Bridget fan, and also single.
    So lovely to have these words reminding me that we are in this together!

  5. Diana Trautwein December 10, 2013 at 11:50 pm #

    Ooooh, this is such a good reminder to me. Thank you, Jen. For the reminder, but more than that, thank you for being tough and tender – and vulnerable in this space. Love you, friend. Have a Merry Christmas!!

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