My pastor once said that choosing a church was a little like getting married: You don’t hop around from one to the next; You “date” the same one for a while, and then you commit. But how do you handle doubts about the one you chose?
When I first came to my church I knew that it was different from the denomination I’d grown up in. But our core beliefs were the same, and the teaching was the best I’d ever heard, and the people were good and kind. So I stayed and became a member; I committed; I took vows.
Through the years since, I’ve grown in two significant ways: Closer to the people of my church, and farther from its denominational doctrines. And divergent growth is painful.
Our core beliefs are still the same, the teaching is still the best I’ve ever heard, and the people are not only good and kind– they have become my family. But where I could once shrug off differences that didn’t feel big to me, I now have a burden I can’t ignore.
I love and am well loved by my church– I don’t know how I could ever leave. And sometimes I don’t know how I can stay. These differences hurt, and I don’t want church to mean hurt.
I carry in my purse a small, plain wooden cross, given out at my church’s building dedication. A dear older member lovingly carved them from the same wood used to build the handsome exposed beams of our sanctuary. And to me, this means church.
A few years ago, this same dear member asked me to sing at his wife’s memorial, and when I did, his pained eyes crinkled with gratitude. And to me, this means church. Just last week, this same dear member laid in a hospital bed, and other members visited and brought comfort. And to me, this means church.
I carry that cross in my purse because it is a treasure.
It means to me what every cross means to every Christian– sacrifice, redemption, love. But this simple, hand hewn cross in particular also means church to me, and its meaning is so full I can hardly believe it fits in my purse’s zippered pocket.
How do you know when to stay or when to go?
For me, we’ve left when the hurt of staying out-weighed the hurt of leaving. The last time, I thought it was going to be for good, but God helped me find a place where I could heal. I wish it had been a similar result for my husband, but sadly, not now.
Ultimately, I don’t like the “married to your church” line because I’m not. I’m a part of the Church, which is the Bride of Christ, but I’m not married to my church. That line has caused me more guilt over leaving an abusive situation than anything else. I think we’re obligated to seek peace with those with whom we worship, and they are my family, but when families intentionally hurt you time after time, it’s okay to leave. There’s no sin in leaving. And if someone needs to pile guilt on if you’re considering it, that’s probably a good indication that you’re right in leaving, IMO.
By the by, have you checked out David Nilsen’s series on leaving his current church? Tons of good stuff in there. This is the last one, but the others in the series are linked at the top.
http://homekettle.wordpress.com/2011/07/20/church-quest-8-non-negotiables/
I’m really glad I read your response to the post. I recently left my church because the pain of leaving outweighed the pain of staying. Those I considered family have mostly left. Really, only one family remains that I feel connected to.
I’ve come to believe that we are truly the ones responsible for the hurt put on us. I can choose to stay in an abusive relationship and continue to get beat up on or I can walk. For awhile I had hoped that my staying and getting involved in our church council would inspire me and others to start looking at how we can grow from the situation that truly divided our church. But I soon realized that most of the council members did not want to grow. They saw the split and thought it was good – get rid of the people that don’t think the way they did.
I’m not one to sit back and just not change after something bad has happened. I want to recognize the problem, figure out how to grow from it and start moving forward. With that particular church, we’ve had the same problem seven times in the last seven years. There’s never growth. There’s just ugliness in the name of God.
I haven’t really tried to find another church. My heart has been so bruised by the events over the last seven years that to go back to church feels like I’m setting myself up again for more pain. At least that is what my human heart says. My spirit tells me I need to quit talking that way and let God lead me where I need to be. So in a way I feel like I can’t trust God with helping me find my church home. How awful is that? I just realized that writing this, man, I’m such a looney.
Who knows? Maybe now that I’ve recognized this – thanks in part to your reply post and Tamara’s original post – I’ll start to reconsider church again. I miss worship. I miss communion. I miss having a fresh Sunday to start my week off with.
Ha! Not looney at all – just hurt. For reals, it took me almost a year to get to the point where I didn’t cry during every single service I attended. It was the most profound hurt I’ve ever experienced. I had to figure out a way to deal with the hurt itself and then deal with the grief over leaving a number of people that I loved. And then dealing with the grief of losing people that I THOUGHT loved me. It was a long, incredibly painful process. And some days it still comes back and bites me in the behind, though not as often as it used to. I’m just finally in a place where I feel like I can be a part of a small group again (though that has more to do with my husband’s deconversion than my previous church experience).
Give yourself time to grieve and recognize it as grief. I think that’s important before trying to really settle into another congregation, especially when you’ve been hurt or abused (which I don’t think is so much what Tamara was talking about). But I do know what you mean about missing the whole church culture. I know that I could do all of those things alone (worship, communion, etc.), but it’s so much more meaningful with other believers.
Hugs to you in your journey!
I read David’s first post– I’ll have to go back and check out the rest. I really feel like he’s my long-lost brother sometimes.
I agree with my pastor in that you need to commit rather than hop around; I agree with you in that that commitment cannot be the same as marriage.
For serious. You guys strike me as total brain twins.
And I do get what your pastor (and many, many others) are saying about not hopping around. I’m sure my own experience of seeming “hoppy” in my church attendance due to some pretty massive hurts (and physically moving a lot) makes me wary of that kind of warning. I want to commit because I want to commit, not out of some kind of outside obligation, if that makes any sense. When you start telling me how important it is that I commit, I get a kind of skeevy feeling.
Beautifully written.
Nicely written! I love your examples of “this means church”. I have a burr under my saddle when it comes to pastor’s who repeat lines to lay guilt on people to have them be somehwere the Lord isn’t choosing, but the pastor is. I won’t go into that. I’ll just say that “this means church” lives far beyond the walls of the building and it finds it’s way into the broken lives of those who would never grace a pew.
Rebekah, I never would have figured you for one who would get a burr under her saddle!
Being a part of the Bride of Christ is understandable to me. Finding a place to worship and to “not forsake the gathering of believers” is harder for me. Figuring out if tithing means that I have to marry my bank account to a certain congregation is harder.
I know that no matter where I go, I can open myself up to hurt. The church, being a “hospital for sinners”, is a place where people gather. And people hurt people. It happens, even without intention. This is where I get to forgive those who trespass against me. And hope that they forgive me when I trespass, because I most likely will, without intention.
It is when the congregation seems to be willing as a group to hurt someone so they can hold onto some tradition they hold dear (not scriptural – just traditional) that I struggle. Do I leave so that I won’t be part of hurting someone? Do I stay and stick up for my beliefs in the hope that someone might listen?
These are all things that I think about when I have to consider “church”. It is easier to sit in this little corner of my bedroom with my computer and just deal with you here. I can close down the browser whenever I want. I don’t even have to get out of my PJs. I doubt this is what God wants of me – to only deal in cyberconnections. But I admit, it is easier than dealing with what “church” means to me.
I agree whole heartedly with everything you wrote. I’m having a similar issue – tradition and group want outweighing what God wants because everybody thinks they know what it is what God wants. Apparently, in my former church, it was to spread rumors and lies about our pastor and other people in our congregation.
Ah, Wendi, I hate that. My parents tried to join a church where the preacher said he just didn’t know if he could “extend the right hand of fellowship” to them because he had heard something about them that he admitted he had not even tried to substantiate. Yet he did not call down the gossipers who started the whole mess. Mom and Dad ended up having to go elsewhere because they were not welcome. I have no idea if the diseased relationships in that congregation continued to spread, but I know I sure was not praying for them. Should’ve been, but wasn’t.
Thank you for this…this was so helpful to me in my struggle about leaving/staying at my current church! Such wise words.
You are so welcome, Marybeth. I don’t feel wise, but maybe God uses me when I don’t realize it. You are always welcome at my blog if you want to see if He can use me some more. http://whoivealwaysbeen.blogspot.com
You are welcome. Come join me at my blog sometime. I don’t pretend to be wise, but God uses my words every once in awhile.
I am praying about this exact thing. I am a member of a BIG church and really feel I am being called to go to a storefront church to help. I am struggling with how do I leave the familiar. How do I leave those sweet people who welcomed me five years ago when I moved here? I will keep praying and looking for what the Lord is showing me.
Thank you!
I think that if you feel God’s call, you’ve really got to listen.
I’m with Tamara on that — if you feel God’s call, go where He’s calling.
We went through something like this nearly 10 years ago. We had moved back near my wife’s hometown and gotten involved at the church she grew up in, even though we were misfits in a lot of ways. Being the sort of folks we are, we ended up entrenched in the church, doing music (helping get “contemporary worship” going in a not-so-contemporary church), on committees, etc.
After 5 years, fairly suddenly we felt like the Lord was telling us it was time to go – it had a little bit to do with the preaching and areas we felt like a misfit, but it was really just the Lord’s timing. One thing that we did that I would suggest to anyone in a similar situation — we sat down with the Pastor, told him why we felt we were supposed to move on, and laid out a plan to “minimize collateral damage” (we were seriously entrenched and knew people that we really cared about would be hurt by our leaving.)
Skip to the end…. A year after switching churches, I had a job transfer opportunity arise, and it turned out that the year we spent at the transitional church totally prepared us for the church we moved to a year later. (We had never done children’s ministry, filled the need at the new church, and have done it for 8 years at the latest church since we moved.)
Point being: if you feel the Lord tugging, there’s a reason, even if you don’t understand why. But, since the current church is your family too, take the time to communicate why you’re doing what you’re doing. That will lessen any pain now and keep relationships more intact than just cutting them loose.
Now, when we go back home, we still visit the church my wife grew up in, sometimes we get asked to help with music at Christmas Eeve. They are still family, and though it stung when we left, we all recognize now that it was God’s timing.
I am also wondering/praying about this…it’s such a difficult decision when there are so many who warn about “church hopping.” But what do you do when you desire to go deeper spiritually, and your Church just isn’t there? That’s where my husband and I are struggling. I will continue to pray about what to do!
Thank you for this
Marybeth, I’ve often wondered about this. If you all churches make up The Church, is it really “church hopping” to go and spend time with another congregation? I might be splitting hairs there. I just feel like people like to warn me about things that aren’t a big deal and yet they don’t want to warn me about things that I am doing that could really cause me trouble because “it’s none of their business”. I just don’t know if there is a good answer for this.
For two years I wanted to leave our church. One of the main problems with leaving was that we also lived at our church — in an apartment over the sanctuary. Leaving meant not only a transition in our place of worship, but also a change in our living arrangements. I prayed, grew frustrated, found peace, fought bitterness and longed for escape. Last month we left, and instead of feeling like we were fleeing away from something, we were sent to the new things God is doing in us. So, my answer to your question is, “You know when to stay or go when you feel like God has released you.” For your own spiritual health, it’s better to be able to leave on a good note and at peace with God and man, because if you don’t that bitterness, hurt and anger will follow you to your next place.
I like the idea of allowing it to be “when God has released you.” I think a similar time to go would be when God has called you elsewhere. Either way, I think you’ve got to let Him guide you.
Tamara, were we separated at birth? Do we attend the same church or something? I feel like I could have written this whole post. Please know you are not alone in feeling this way and asking yourself this very difficult question.
Too funny– I just told Alise above that I sometimes feel like you’re my long-lost brother. Check those old photos you put up for a strong-willed, curly-headed little girl– we might just be on to something.
But seriously, hearing your story has emboldened me to allow myself to really think through my own. Thank you.
I’m struggling with the same thing. I’ve been in the same church since birth. When I got married, my husband felt this is where we should be. And now…? Things are just different. It’s hard to give to a church that won’t accept you or your calling. It’s hard to give to people who still see you at 10 years old. And my husband and I are different now. So we struggle. And I HATE that feeling.
“A church that won’t accept you or your calling.” I can only imagine how painful that must be– I hope you find an answer that brings you peace.
This post has given me a lot to think about, as well as the responses to it.
For me, it’s the people, not the doctrine. I’ve only left a church once because I felt that what was being taught was going in a different direction than where I had grown. (The pastor kept sermonizing about how sinful women are – in all his examples of forgiveness and coming to know God he used women, never men, to describe the journey that all humans, regardless of sex, could go through. But after the fifth Sunday hearing about the woman that made the decision to be a prostitute to get drugs and then return to her loving family, I’d pretty much had enough. My feminist side got really ticked off.)
Recently I had to leave my church, for the second time, of seven years. I couldn’t stay. There was a large group of people who were nasty, spreading malicious rumors about people in our church, including our pastor. Many of my very good friends left because of it. It’s that same group hurt that Carolyn mentioned in her response.
My problem is that I’m tired of that excuse, oh humans are imperfect and so you’ll always find churches with problems. BS Beee-Essssss. We are human. We are imperfect. But we’re children of God and we should know better than to treat each other with such nastiness. That is such a crutch for churches. It allows the nasty people to continue being nasty. I’m grateful for being forgiven when I screw up. But forgiveness isn’t a free pass to keep doing the same screw up and hurting people over and over and over again.
That’s why I left my church.
I think you make such an important distinction here– people are surely imperfect, but the body of Christ needs to treat its members with care.
Wendi, that is awesome. And I agree. You can use the “people will hurt people” thing as a crutch. What I didn’t get into in my response, because it might be another can of worms (but let’s go for it now anyway), is the issue of being in a church where nobody is held accountable. The New Testament gives instructions for pulling alongside of people and steering them back in the right direction. I think older translations even use the word “rebuke”, though I doubt that meant then what it means today. Back in my single days, I had switched to a church that had an active singles group. That church had elders and deacons in it. There was one deacon and his wife who had taken on overseeing the singles ministry. Well, after I had gone to them sincerely seeking advice on a matter that involved one of the other singles, the wife decided to get all up in my business and made a HUGE mess. There was hurt pouring out everywhere after her little stunt. And it made it hard for me to stay. But what amazed me (because I didn’t see it often) was that her husband called her on it, told her that she had no right getting in the middle, and made her apologize to me in writing. What a shocker. The damage was already done, but he didn’t use that as an excuse to just let her waltz along without repenting. And it would have been easier for him to do that since she was his wife. Somewhere, I’ll have to find balance between these two things: expecting that people will be imperfect and expecting that they will be held accountable for this. The instructions of Micah 6:8 to “seek justice, love mercy, and walk humbly with your God” confound me even now. How do you seek justice AND love mercy? Especially when you are the one who has been wronged? I wish I had a quick answer for that.
That’s it exactly!
I brought this up to the interim pastor at our church when he and I had our 15 minute discussion about why I was so upset – yeah, non-productive. I said, “How can we continue letting people purposefully hurt others?” His response, “Well, what are we supposed to do?” I kept thinking that he was the freaking pastor, interim or no, why wasn’t he actively involved in talking with the people hurting others?
I think it’s fear that we will all be called out at some time and no one wants that because it’s embarrassing. But when we are called out for our transgressions we can either accept that we’ve wronged and grow; or we can stick out our bottom lip and pout and not do anything.
When I realized that insolence and pure meanness was going to be accepted and not at least discussed I was out. Maybe that’s me pouting, but c’mon! When I left, I wrote a letter to the church council about this same thing. It was met with a strange regard. Only one person on council really encouraged me to reconsider because we couldn’t “let the bad guys win”. The others just said, well, we’re all human and we’re going to make mistakes and no church is perfect.
So much baloney. Church itself, from my understanding, is about worshiping God. As the body of Christ we are there to support the rest of the body and introduce Christ’s message of love to people who have not had it. But if we’re beating each other up, it’s kind of hard, mid-punch, to say, “Hey, come check out my church and let me tell you about Christ’s love at the same time – OW!”
Man, this has so gone off topic from T’s original post. lol But I’m glad to see that the feelings I have aren’t alone.
I just found this through reading the series someone else posted about leaving church and finding a new church home. This is exactly how I feel:
“Some have suggested that I should stay at my old church in order to be an agent for change. That would be good, if there was any inclination to want to change. I believe if I stay I would have to resign to be silent or speak-up and disrupt the fellowship.”
Wow, no better words could have been written.
No, Wendi, you aren’t alone. And remember, Peter – the Rock upon whom Jesus was building His church – was rebuked by Paul And rightly so. Even though it might have stung Peter, I think he learned from it. He had already shown many times that he wasn’t perfect, so another transgression probably didn’t come as news to him.
I don’t know if we are completely off topic. Tamara mentioned a burden she can’t ignore. This sounds like that type of burden.
I know this is stems from an entirely different context, but it seems somehow entirely apropos:
“Should I stay or should I go now?
Should I stay or should I go now?
If I go there will be trouble
And if I stay it will be double”
–The Clash, “Should I Stay or Should I Go”
Amen, brother!
I JUST wrote on my Orthodoxy blog about this…it’s a struggle, a real struggle.
http://unorthodoxlyorthodox.wordpress.com/2011/05/10/275/
I call myself Bridezilla as I undertake this process of becoming Orthodox…
Here’s my thought … you seek God and when He says stay, you stay and when He says go, you go. To me, it’s not about church wounds (I’ve been there and God said stay because He had a plan through it), it’s about your part in His body and the body He intends you to be in for the season He determines. He moved us from one body, one that was dying, to a new, amazing body. One we loved and flourished in. And, just when we were settled in, He changed our season and moved us again. I read somewhere that as a part of the Body of Christ, we can’t just walk away. It would be like you, tossing your ear cause you don’t like it. We’re the body and, like it or not, we are one peice altogether. This is where I have learned and am learning grace. Amazing grace. So all that to say, ask God if it’s time for a new season in another part of the body. He will direct you. He promised!
An image popped to mind as you mentioned us being the body…..
Some within the body are called to stay put where they are and function there…. like the knee, the elbow. Others, like maybe blood cells, are called to flow and move freely within the body, providing nourishment wherever they are.
While I don’t recommend “church hopping” to always find whatever currently meets your needs, that doesn’t mean that some people aren’t called to move more than others.
Can you truly be who you are at your church? I was part of a church, and part of a small group full of dear, loving people. But as my beliefs started changing, I felt like I had to shut off who I really was. Or I could be open and bring strife to this lovely group. I felt like I was going to a fancy dinner party with well brought up people, and what I really wanted to do was eat a sloppy joe. I ended up leaving (there were a lot of other reasons that factored into it, but that was certainly one of them).
That’s such a good question to ask, Kat– thank you.
Church-family is precious – worth holding onto.
it’s so hard, isn’t it? my husband and i talked about our “non-negotiables” when we moved and had to find a church and are realizing that even these change as our family enters different seasons. our church has been through much upheaval, and we’ve stayed but are now wondering, too, if it’s time to move on.
but then i think of the disciples less-than-rousing commitment to to Christ himself when he said they could leave: “but where would we GO?” i kinda think in this rural community of ours, we’re probably stuck a bit longer. and that being unsatisfied is not the worst thing, either, as we can obediently worship and serve exactly where we are, and church is about so much more than our preferences. (which is not to say that leaving is wrong–just that it’s complicated, like you wrote so eloquently.)
may wisdom and peace surround you as you wrestle with what’s best for your family.
When going through Pre-Canna classes at a catholic church not in my husband’s parish, the priest asked why we are not attending the church in our parish. We explained our reasons which were about us – how we were nourished, grew, felt uplifted. The priest responded, “How do you know that God did not intend to make you a catalyst for change in your parish?” I would suggest you pray (as you probably already have for discernment, for a sense of peace one way or the other) and go where you feel lead. I’m writing this from a 3 year search for a church where my heart will not be hurt; however, my search has lead me back to where I started. There is no perfection in church as the church (both capital and lower case “c”) is filled with imperfect people. Church is a hospital for the sinner not a collection of perfect saints. Good luck!
Thank you for this post. Seriously, thank you. It’s an answer to a prayer I’ve had for a while.
My family moved to a new city 2 years ago. We had been in a large church, different from the denomination I grew up in and we absolutely loved it. It is an amazing place that doesn’t feel nearly as large as it is. When we moved, the one church of the new denomination in our city was definitely NOT the church for us. We ended up at a small-ish (not small by any means, but tiny compared to what I’m used to) church – actually the one my family attended when I was a young child. It was the first place we visited where my kids felt comfortable. So we stayed. And we’ve been going for over a year now. But we haven’t gotten involved, mainly because of scheduling conflicts and partly because of distance, and we don’t know very many people there, apart from the few families that are still friends with my mom.
And as time as gone on, I find myself craving the kind of church you described in your post. Each Sunday, I find myself wishing I was back in my old church, sometimes missing it to the point of tears. Listening to sermons over the past year, I’ve begun to question whether my childhood denomination is actually as correct as it believes it is on certain things. And I find myself missing my previous church even more.
I’ve been praying for a long time about what church I need to be in and where that church might be. I’ve seen and heard a lot about switching churches lately. How painful it can be, and how the pain can be totally worth it. How when you switch, getting involved right away helps you to become invested in the new and not wallowing in desire for the old. Last weekend, I visited my previous home and discovered that a friend’s mom lives in my new city. We had a quick discussion about churches, and she mentioned one that I’ve had on my mind as one to visit. It’s teeny, which scares me to death (I’m shy and I like to blend in, which is not easy in teeny churches), but it is my “new” denomination. While denomination isn’t everything, having our beliefs line up perfectly is a huge part of being at home in a church.
As a result of those conversations, and the things I’ve read, this blog post is the icing on the cake. I loved the one comment above saying that you go “when you feel like God has released you”. Because, now, I know that God has released me.
So glad you’ve found direction and peace.
It is different for me because I am a pastor’s wife. We have served at churches where young families were leaving a loving church just because they didn’t have enough “ministries” for their children. I could sympathize with them on one hand, (the church we are currently serving at only has two other children besides our three) but God has called us to these churches to love and minister to them-it isn’t a choice, unless of course, disobedience is a choice!
If I had to choose a church for us to be a part of, unity of spirit would be primary as well as people who are loving and believe the Word of God to be true-not convenient.
Right now, God is leading us to step down from our ministry and move-without another job to go to or a church to serve at. It really is a step of faith for us, but after wrestling with it for a long time and trying to reason it away, that still, small Voice keeps patiently telling us to go.
I don’t know what church we will end up serving at next, or even which town we will be living in once we move to the state He is calling us to, but I look forward to seeing what He has planned!
Since no one has said it yet (not sure if anyone else who commented goes to church with you like I do): Please don’t go, Tamara!
I was not brought up in the theological tradition of our church, but have come to appreciate it even though there are some things I still have trouble “buying” about it. Every theology seems to have its holes or its pieces that don’t quite fit. With the quality of teaching and genuine community we have, I figure that’s about as good a match as I could hope for. That said, it can be frustrating at times. Hang in there!
Thank you so much for showing up here to let me know I’m not alone. For all my usual ease with words, I have none to properly say how much this means to me.
Thank You so much for this article. I really needed it
We are at this point of our lives to find a “church” and this really put a new view on things. Thanks for sharing xoxo
Denominations don’t mean anything. They’re merely whether you sing and clap, sing and close your eyes, take communion every Sunday or once a month, baptize babies or adults and/or other secondary doctrines and/or rites. At the end of the day, we’re all Christians and children of the only God. Yes, it’s true about going to a church, feeling welcome and getting comfortable in it. That’s how you shop for a church.
Yes, that core is essential– but I don’t think it means denominations mean nothing. They can mean the difference between a gay person feeling welcome or a woman feeling encouraged to follow her calling. Not small stuff.
You’re RIGHT. I often forget that some churches don’t like women to hold important positions like being pastors, elders, trustees or even deacons. I also forget about gay people feeling rejected. At FAPC (where I go; http://www.fapc.org/), gays are welcome and women can hold any position they’re elected or willing to do. The whole lot has been something that I no longer think about and has become NORMAL for me.
By the way, when you come to NYC on holiday (again), come to FAPC (http://www,fapc.org/). I’ll show you around, introduce you to the pastors and other people — especially during coffee hour. You’ll have a first hand experience of LACK of discrimination (for a lack of a better term).
You must always keep your focus on the Lord and on what He wants for you. If you are seeing all of these things wrong in the church, He must be allowing that. So go to Him and ask if you are to leave and keep praying about it until you are clear. He will show you. I know this is hard, I not only recently left my church but also left the ministry job I had there. I had been called by God to do the work I was doing, but when the time was right in God’s plan, I left. Stay focused on God and stay in His word, He will heal your wounds and help you to find a new place to worship. There is a great Bible Study by Debbie Alsdorf called He is My Life. All of you who are hurting should consider getting a copy of it. You can use it as a devotional and go through it by doing one lesson a day. It only takes 15 minutes at the most a day. God will do an amazing work in your hearts if you’ll just let Him. God Bless you all!!!
If those differences mean that there are friends or neighbors that you wouldn’t want to invite and bring with you to church, then it’s time to find a new place.
When I go to bed at night, and say my little prayer, that’s church.
When it’s just God and me chatting, that’s church.
There is no building, no number of friends, and no hierarchy that will be standing next to me when I’m knocking on the pearly gates.
Listen to your heart and God. They know you best, love you most, and won’t steer you wrong.
Love,
UG
I recently had a similar conversation with my eldest son. The church we attend has changed in many ways over the last 13 years when we first began attending. Not many of those changes have been good, but yet we stay. when my son asked what keeps us there even though it is lacking in many important ways, my response was this: “We stay for the church it has the potential to become.” I know that should not be enough to keep us, but my optimism has kept me hopeful that
Maybe one day . . .
We will have strong leadership
Maybe one day . . .
We will have spiritual revival
Maybe one day . . .
We will be a lighthouse in the community
Maybe one day . . .
We will be a place for broken hearts can heal
Maybe one day . . .
Maybe one day . . .
As we search for a church, my daughter asked me last week why I would want to go to a church that doesn’t love people the way we do – and isn’t it the point of church to support your beliefs instead of make you feel weird about them.
Tough Questions.