We got it wrong on a Wednesday.
Weary eyes looked to the people who claim Christ, and they saw what they expected.
They saw self-righteousness and callous hearts.
They saw flippant jokes and names like fag.
They saw bitterness and angry spirits.
They did not see I was hungry and you gave me something to eat or I was a stranger and you invited me in.
They did not see In humility value others above yourselves or Encourage one another and build each other up.
They did not see Pray for those who persecute you or Love your neighbor as yourself.
We got it wrong on a Wednesday.
I was fired-up fury. I was sunk-down sadness.
The people who claim Christ were flooding fast-food queues to defend what mattered to them, and they flouted the gospel of grace as they flaunted their good chicken.
And I was devastated, ashamed, and it hurt so much that I had to laugh or else I might cry– really cry.
So I joked privately that I just wanted these Christ-claimers to stop acting like vitriolic motherfuckers.
We got it wrong on a Wednesday.
I splashed my social media with the message, Jesus wasn’t interested in issues of the day; he was interested in issues of the heart. It’s never been about chicken sandwiches, y’all.
A fellow Christ-follower quietly contacted me with concern.
Her views were so distant from mine, we could barely make out the common ground between.
She thought my position ignored God’s holiness; I thought hers ignored His love.
And our common ground was Christ, but I walked away from her.
I wanted her to be more like our Jesus.
We got it wrong on a Wednesday.
Worried eyes looked to a person who claims Christ, and they saw what they expected.
They saw self-righteousness and a callous heart.
They saw flippant jokes and names like motherfucker.
They saw bitterness and an angry spirit.
They did not see I was hungry and you gave me something to eat or I was a stranger and you invited me in.
They did not see In humility value others above yourselves or Encourage one another and build each other up.
They did not see Pray for those who persecute you or Love your neighbor as yourself.
We got it wrong on a Wednesday.
A person who claims Christ was flooding social media streams to defend what mattered to her, and she flouted the gospel of grace as she flaunted her good words.
And I was devastated, ashamed, and it hurt so much that I had to laugh or else I might cry– really cry.
I wanted her to be more like our Jesus.
huh???
And she wanted YOU to be more like Jesus
is it a contest?
Lovely , thoughtful poem! We all need the cross, especially when we think we don’t.
But … I’ve long been bothered by the vaguely similarly-themed song ‘What About The Love’, by Janis Ian & Kye Fleming (covered by Amy Grant). Your turnaround is spot on, and pointing fingers rarely point to Jesus, but I still feel there are issues that matter and that truth and justice are important. That chicken affair was pretty horrible on all sides, nevertheless there is surely more to following Jesus than avoiding controversy and being nice?
This being the internet, I suspect I need to add a disclaimer that there is no way I am criticising the poem for not giving such answers – far from it – just adding my two-penn’orth and wondering what you (or any other reader) might think.
I think you’re absolutely right that there’s more to following Jesus than avoiding controversy and being nice. The lesson that God drove into my heart last week is that humility is far more necessary to following Jesus and far easier to wrongly assume we’re displaying than our self-righteous hearts care to see– mine chiefly included.
Ouch.
And amen.
This week I have struggled with remembering that it is so easy to become the very thing we are railing against.
I almost agree. The names, the holier-than-thou attitudes, the less-than loving Facebook posts which led to verbal kno I almost agree.
The names, the holier-than-thou attitudes, the less-than loving Facebook posts that led to verbal knock-downs were all wrong, wrong, wrong. My friends who are passionate about gay rights were devastated by the irony and now feel vindicated in their right-ness. Very sad.
However, the underlying issue is not simply an “issue of the day,” but the nature of a sacrament. God’s purpose for marriage is life, not fun or freedom or healthcare. And a union that by its very nature cannot create life simply does not meet the basic requirements.
This fact should not spur us to act hatefully. If anything, we should feel even more love and compassion for the misguided, souls who so desperately long for validation.
Yes, Jesus broke bread with the sinners, but in doing so He was not implying that they were right, only that they were deserving of respect and love regardless. He offered them a different way, the right and righteous and holy way, but he did not ridicule them or make them feel unworthy or unloved.
This is our lesson.
ck-downs were all wrong, wrong, wrong. My friends who are p7 assionate about now feelagrees gay rights were devastated by the irpny and now feelyou vindicated in the
Jo Hawke-
It’s interesting that you would bring up the issue of “creating life” here because that is the very idea that caused me to take pause when wrestling with where I should land in all of this. I have found, ultimately, what shuts my mouth and forces open my heart is, quite simply=relationship.
In my early days of dedicated faith living, it was easiest to jump headlong into the stream of accepted “Christian” thought: family values, anti-abortion, heterosexual marriage… easy until I found myself in a relationship with someone who didn’t meet those requirements. When a real, live, God created person didn’t fit the mold, revealed that they had once had an abortion, or shared that they were gay…suddenly, it wasn’t so easy to throw platitudes at them regarding how, then, they should live.
These issues we fight for or against are, at their core, actually people.
So, back to creating life…if that were truly the purpose for marriage then what does the Church say to infertile couples? Are those that cannot conceive not worthy of the sacrament of marriage? Is their relationship less legitimate than those of fertile couples?
I know that you would join me in a resounding “No!” So how can that be the argument against gay marriage if we don’t hold others in the church to the same standard?
I, by no means, have this all figured out. And I don’t think that, this side of heaven, I ever will. But if I have to land somewhere in all of this, it will be in the midst of relationship.
+1 Holly!!
Rebekah,
I do hope that your comment was only meant to say that you agree with my sentiments and not that I somehow had scored a point in some figurative corner. That is not the kind of conversation that I want to have, especially with folks with whom I disagree. There are no winners in that ring.
I’m part of another online community that does this all the time so I didn’t take into consideration it wouldn’t be understood. +1 is comparable to “like” on facebook, or a “thumb’s up” on other websites. There is no scoring, no figurative corner’s, no “sides”, and no winning. It was my way, albeit not great, to “like” what you said and how you said it. That’s all.
An “infertile” couple is not actively thwarting God’s will for life within the covenant of marriage. There is no comparison. Remember Abraham and Sarah?
Also, Holly, I mean no disrespect or callousness or cheekiness, but I would be remiss if I didn’t add that one can have a “relationship” with one’s dog (or cat or horse or trained monkey). Does this mean that one should be allowed to marry one’s partner in said relationships?
Seriously? A person cannot have a consensual relationship with an animal, and that is an outrageously inappropriate (and yes, disrespectful) comparison.
You said: “Yes, Jesus broke bread with the sinners, but in doing so He was not implying that they were right, only that they were deserving of respect and love regardless.” You are so right. Why is it that we feel the need to assess right or wrong? That is not our job. Scripture is very clear that it is not our responsibility to judge. But Jesus made it very clear that we are to love. They will know us by our love. Jesus is our prototype. If we mirror what he did we will get it right.
I’m sorry to disagree, Jeanne, but Jesus most certainly did assess right and wrong. Remember his reaction to the people who were buying and selling in the temple? He turned over tables and drove people out with ropes. (NOT advocating violence here. I don’t really understand how this passage fits myself.)
Jesus in the temple was in a rage because temple officials and Jewish religious leaders who knew truth about God’s character were disregarding it. Jesus would’ve reacted completely differently if the salesmen were not Jews and didn’t claim to know or understand God. It’s like 1 Corinthians 5 which tells us to try and maintain standards in the church because the church represents God and his righteousness, but Paul never condoned judging non-believers or Gentiles based on trivialities such as circumcision. The free man connot possibly judge a slave by his morals, but he can help free him.
Dear Jo.
We actually agree. I did not say that Jesus did not assess right and wrong. What I said is that it is not our job to do so. Jesus told us we are to love others. He will do the judging. But we often take that responsibility into our own hands and our judgment is clouded by our own sin. That is where we go wrong. It will be through our love that others are brought to Jesus. In his way and in his time he will deal with their sin. He is God and we are not.
You wrote: And a union that by its very nature cannot create life simply does not meet the basic requirements.
I can’t have children. Does this mean my heterosexual marriage of 15 years doesn’t meet your requirements? That marriage is solely for the creation of life and not for fun or pleasure?
I suggested talking to other Christian women who can’t conceive and tell them that there marriages are considered null and void because they cannot create life. or does this life creation thing apply only to gay couples?
Not only can I not conceive I don’t want children. I strongly believe God knows our hearts. The only time I feel “bad” about not having children is when I read a post like yours. Because I truly feel that Gods purpose for means my life does not include being a parent. He knows I would not make a good and healthy mother. Thank you for your judgment amd total lack of tack and grace. This is what went wrong on Wednesday. Lack of tack and lack of grace.
I’m saddened by your experience. I didn’t have the same experience as you, I didn’t even know things like that were being said. My husband and I went to Chick Fil A and were surrounded by the love of Christ. We encountered people praying for our nation, praying for people, praying for situations. We never heard a word of hate, we heard words of sorrow for people that were blinded by sin and the enemy. Our friends on Facebook had the same attitude as those we encountered in line. Hopefully my experience will encourage your heart that Wednesday wasn’t all bad.
I get it, Tamara. I have to watch myself, my behavior.
MY THOUGHTS.
When it comes to people who behave in disgusting ways that hurt the lovely people I adore, it’s so hard. And I think it’s ok to get angry and stand up for those being bullied, but I have to watch my heart so it doesn’t rot with rage toward judgment. I so quickly judge the judgers–Pharisees.
I wonder why Christians want to think about and discuss this so much. I guess I don’t want to ever be the person who scrutinizes another’s lifestyle or heart, trying to figure out where they are not holy enough. Christians can’t even decide amongst themselves whether or not they think homosexuality is wrong in the first place. Both give valid arguments though neither would consider the other side valid. Maybe we should keep our opinions and judgments to ourselves. It is quite simply not our job. Let me say that again. Not our job.
I want to spend today with anyone and everyone. I want to know all their stories and honor them. I don’t want to waste my time deciding if they are bad or if I agree any more than I want them to sit with me, staring down my drunken history or my pride issues or judging the way my consumerism ignores Biblical truths.
This is where I type really long comments. Please forgive my inability to be concise
“I want to spend today with anyone and everyone. I want to know all their stories and honor them. I don’t want to waste my time deciding if they are bad or if I agree any more than I want them to sit with me, staring down my drunken history or my pride issues or judging the way my consumerism ignores Biblical truths.”
Beautifully said. Posting it on my facebook. Especially loved the part about knowing people’s stories and honoring them. It’s what I’ve learned to do. Instead of jumping the gun and judging them without really getting to know them like I used to.
So well said, Heather. I’m in full agreement with you.
I think you wrote your thoughts beautifully.
I work in the university of Floridas office of multicultural and diversity affairs. Every day I work gay men and women. They love, they are loved, amd I am honored when they feel comfortable to tell me their life stories, about coming out and the peace and insecurity it brings. When we talk it’s not bedroom talk. It’s about life, about wanting to fall in love, about the movies we watched over the weekend, the book we couldn’t put down. Homosexuality is not just sex and marriage. It is two people who love each other, two people who are leaders in my community, people who rescue animals and nurse them back to health, people who are Chrisitians.
It isn’t my place to judge. It’s my place to love them.
Yup.
The self-righteous always walk away feeling vindicated, but the cause of Christ walks in humility. There are self-righteous souls on both sides of this cultural divide. We don’t one another, because we’re all too busy standing up for our rights. Yet where is the Gospel of Christ? Is it in family values, or Jesus crucified?
My own thoughts on this are at my blog: http://randomlychad.com
Here’s the post I should’ve have linked to this morning:
http://randomlychad.com/2012/08/the-lesson-of-chick-fil-a-appreciation-day-a-reflection.html
“The self-righteous always walk away feeling vindicated, but the cause of Christ walks in humility.” This is it. This is the lesson I thought I understood and then realized how badly I was messing it up. Thankful we have a God who tracks us down even when we go astray without knowing it.
This resonates. Thank you.
This is really amazing. We all got it wrong.
Beautiful.
Oh T:
This is like when you explain the difference between Jesus in your head vs. Jesus in your heart.
I thought of you that day.
What you would say.
You might feel some sting today.
But I’m glad you spoke from your heart.
IYKWIM.
No one is ever able to show me where in scripture Christ blesses or honors homosexuality. Rather, it’s among the list of sexual sins. We may be the only bible that some people ever read. Christians must stand on the absolute truth of God’s word. 1 Corinthians 6:9-10 says, Do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived. Neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor homosexuals, nor sodomites, nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners will inherit the kingdom of God.
Hi, Anne,
I saw this really great documentary about Fred Phelps. He’s the guy who runs Westboro Baptist Church and does those protests for soldier funerals.
One of his big issues is homosexuality. He’s not just saying it’s a sin but that gays are devil spawn. In the documentary other pastors from all denominations were interviewed about their take on Fred Phelps. One of the pastors said, “Jesus never talked about homosexuality. I don’t talk about what Jesus never talked about.” He was, I believe, a Methodist pastor. There was also an interview with a Biblical historian who explained that in that time period homosexuality was not between two consenting adults; that homosexuality was a power thing. A man would take a boy and force him to have sex. But it wasn’t about love.
Your verse from Corinthians is, from my understanding, the only verse in the New Testament that mentions homosexuality. The pastor in the documentary said that it’s only mentioned once, and not by Jesus himself, and he often wondered how important homosexuality was if Jesus wasn’t talking about it as much as he was talking about other things – like grace, like love, like thanksgiving.
Most of all, the thing that has made the biggest impression on me is just talking to my gay friends. Knowing that they can be ostracized, beaten, bullied, chastised, lose their families, black balled from their communities when/if they come out, each of these people I know have said, “Why would I choose this life when all these horrible things could happen to me because I am gay?”
Keep talking to God about this. I do it all the time. I want to make sure I honor my Christ. It sounds like you do too. So keep up the dialogue, ask the Lord what you need to do to serve Him. I did not feel called at all to go to Chik-Fil-A that Wednesday. However, Tuesday morning I did feel called to go to Starbucks in support of marriage equality.
Just keep praying and spreading love and grace.
Nearly everyone is guilty of something on that list. Covetous? Thieves? Revilers? Let she who is without sin cast the first stone. None are righteous, no, not one. But love covers a multitude of sins. For this we rely on the grace of God, otherwise the kingdom would be empty.
The word “homosexual” was not created until the late 19th century. It was not introduced into the bible until the 1950′s. Because the bible has been translated and re-translated so many times, we have to be careful when pulling a single quotation from it that the true meaning of that verse has not been lost in all those translations. We must look at the context surounding the verse and study the history of what was happening at the time the verse was written to glean its true meaning. Wendi’s explanation from the documentary she watched does an excellent job of explaining the history. The biblical references are not to homosexuality as we know it today. They are to absues of power, lust, greed, and sexuality as idolatry. Those are the things the bible condemns in this verse and the very small handful of others like it in the bible.
Sadly, an entire cross section of our population is being led to believe they are hated by God and Christians alike because people don’t understand this.
When asked what the greatest commandment is, Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.’” (Matthew 22:37-40)
We all need to focus a lot more on that one.
Jesus’ greatest commandments were to 1. Love the Lord with all your heart. and 2. Love others as yourself. We are not to judge, or lest we be judged. We are not to point out the splinter in our neighbors eye until we remove the plank in ours. Until the Church removes the plank from our own eyes, we cannot possibly see the splinter in our neighbors. Citing 1 Cor. says that many, MANY Jesus-saved Christians will not inherit the Kingdom of God – based on the fact that if we lust after any person we are adulterers, that if we covet our neighbors possessions, we are being covetous, and if we put ANYTHING before the Lord, we are idolaters. Thank goodness we are all saved by the grace of God who came to save us ALL, the whole world. Even the sinners. God’s message must be told, and God will do the rest. I will let God do the judging. Until the Church stops struggling with divorce, pornography, covetousness, hate and judgement, the world will never be able to listen.
Thank you but my point has been missed. Obviously we all sin, obviously Jesus asked us to love each other. It is unfortunate that homosexuality has been elevated as the lone sin of condemnation. I know all of that part of this argument….judge not …all of it. My point is that I stand on the absolute truth of God’s Word; His entire Word from cover to cover. I don’t pick and choose what is sin and what is not. Sex is designed by God to be expressed solely within a marriage between a husband and wife. According to what I have read in the Bible, to believe that homosexuality isn’t sinful is to be at odds with God and scripture. I will not be deceived by what American culture defines as good or accepted. God’s Word is the only authority of absolute truth and His standard is the only one we should use to define good. Using reasoning such as, “Because the bible has been translated and re-translated so many times, we have to be careful when pulling a single quotation from it that the true meaning of that verse has not been lost in all those translations,” is quite simply an attempt to justify something that is sin. I commit my life to leading by example in truth and love, just as Christ did.
Oh, this is grace and how I felt all last week.
This feels like a big ol’ hug with words and grace. Much love, T.
Your passion and struggle and frustration are vivid — and that challenge we all face of offering grace toward those who disagree is all the harder when the disagreements are so very consequential. I love you, my friend Tamara-Who-Does-Love-Holiness-Too
I get it. I am she. May God have mercy on all of us.
Wednesday hurt. Evangelicals are the queen of boycotters, but when the left spoke of boycotting a company which donates millions to groups that promote things like the “kill gays” bill in uganda, or talk about kidnapping “the innocent children of gay people to rescue them”, the right has a heart attack and organizes a day to support that company. It wasn’t the eating there that hurt, I’m not asking anyone to boycott, it was the eating there on that day and posting the picture with the “standing for god’s truth” caption that hurt.
Oh, Melissa, I know– there was so much hurt. And in the midst of it, I forgot all about “pray for those who persecute you.” We all need more Jesus, especially, *especially* when we think we don’t. I hope that you and your loved ones who were hurt that day will receive his healing.
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
During the days surrounding the whole Chik-fil-A (CFA) debacle, I had similar thoughts. I was furious with “the church”. I wondered if anyone else saw the irony of 10000′s of people swarming CFA to fill their gullets with processed non-food (uh, gluttony?) while there are people in this world that are starving for a handful of rice. I was angry that *this* is what the world (that was already sick and tired of self-righteousness) was being shown about Jesus. The same Jesus that is the lover of my soul (and the lover of my gay friends’ souls too).
In my conversations with God, He showed me that it is easy to love the loveable. It is the unloveable that I should love. The CFA Christians are the ones that I needed to love. Jesus is the lover of their souls too.
Thank you for writing this.
I also have the hardest time loving the ones who claim to do these types of things for Christ. It makes my soul weep and wonder again why I stay in the church. Love God, love others…i must remember! Thank you.
Amen. I was so sad on Wednesday that I did cry. Then on Saturday I got in a fight with my Dad about how “those” Christians have forgotten. Because if you KNOW that you are a sinner, how in the hell do you flaunt how right you are and how wrong others are? And, then I saw myself as the judge, and I was ashamed.
God have mercy on us. Teach us to love the way You love.
Nailed it, Tamara. When we fail to respond in love, regardless of what “side” we’re on, we fail ultimately and horribly. Period. End of story.
Your thoughts echoed my own in a post I wrote as some “closing words” for BOTH sides of the CFA debacle: “No Mor Chikin” http://www.lifebeforethebucket.com/2012/08/no-mor-chikin.html
Grace & peace to you, my dear friend.
I’m so thankful that when we get it wrong, we have opportunities to get it right – to be Jesus. Thank you for doing that here today.
I’m so thankful right along with you. This is the gospel of grace: That when we get it wrong, we still get Jesus. And that makes it easier to stand here, bare, and say to the world, “I was wrong”– because I already know he’s made it right. I may feel hit, but I can still stand.
When it comes to this topic, it’s not about being correct or the loudest or having the most support. It’s about Scripture and sin. But even then, the focus should be on Scripture, not sin. We just need to have a dialogue whenever possible. I tried to tackle this here: http://www.richardtgarner.com/2012/08/embracing-sin-with-hearts-wide-shut.html
Me too. Me too. I got it wrong.
Thanks so much for sharing.
I agree we got it wrong on Wednesday…..and ever other day we make one sin (if you believe homosexuality is a sin) more “sinful” than any other. Even if one believes homosexuality is a sin, why does the Christian community make it the worse sin? In some ways, the unforgivable sin. “Lesser” sins are more hurtful to others – gossip and lying, for instance. James has a lot to say about taming the tongue…..not so much our genitals.
I’ll be the first to admit homosexuality is a subject I wrestle with. I know what I was taught, I know what the Bible says, and yet I know what my heart tells me.
What bothers me about this whole issue is Mr. Cathy has the right to his opinion. He was asked his stance; he did not spout it off, he didn’t condemn, he simply stated his interpretation of what the Bible says. Here is the quote:
“Well, guilty as charged. We are very much supportive of the family – the biblical definition of the family unit. We are a family-owned business, a family-led business, and we are married to our first wives. We give God thanks for that. We operate as a family business … our restaurants are typically led by families – some are single. We want to do anything we possibly can to strengthen families. We are very much committed to that … We intend to stay the course. We know that it might not be popular with everyone, but thank the Lord, we live in a country where we can share our values and operate on biblical principles.” —- On the Ken Coleman radio program June 16th, 2012
The gay community took the ball and ran with it, and the Christian community ran defense. The only response anyone, gay or straight, should have had was “We support Mr. Cathy’s right to free speech” Isn’t true equality when everyone is treated the same? When everyone is allowed their opinion regardless whether it is popular? This means one group can’t call foul when someone says something they don’t like or agree with. Every opinion must be treated with respect.
It all comes down to love. Even when Jesus condemned someone’s sin, He loved them first, and He treated them with respect. It grieves me when Christians vomit out “God hates fags” or other hate-filled words.
Colossians 3:12
Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience.
(sorry this is so long….maybe I should start my own blog!)
That is a beautiful verse. And so many of us, on all sides, missed it. And still God loves us. Grace.
The world will know we are His disciples by the way we love. Period.
This topic, like so many others, is a biggie. But when the rubber meets the road,what do we do? Pick up the stone to follow the “letter of the law”? Or do we kneel at the foot of the Cross fully aware of our own sinfulness in and through us (for we sin differently, you know?!?!) and ask Him to love through us? We can’t love on our own? When left to our own devices we hold signs and spout out racist names with Scripture as our reference….no thank you!
The line from this article that I loved the most was: “Weary eyes looked to the people who claim Christ, and they saw what they expected.”
Jesus was NOT what the world expected, including the religious of the day!! Shall we be so humbled at His feet and open to His living out of our jars of clay that the weary eyes look again to the people claiming Christ and see what they don’t expect.
Drop the stones. They have no business in anyone’s hands. Yes, there is such thing as sin! Love covers a multitude of them! Let’s not forget that God sent Christ while we were still sinners – we ain’t got nothin’ on the homosexual community outside of Christ.
The world will know that we are His disciples by the way we love. Period.
Thank you. Stepping off soap box now to humble myself
“Shall we be so humbled at His feet and open to His living out of our jars of clay that the weary eyes look again to the people claiming Christ and see what they don’t expect.” This is my prayer, my hope for these words written here. Amen.
Moved. Thank you.
There is this guy i know. He has this saying. “when you point your finger a someone else there are always three pointing back at you” Convicting at best, I think. We all won’t be like Jesus until the work is complete.
Thankful to see someone on the “other” side has realized that its all the same
Well, I don’t know that I’m on a “side.” I’m not sure either would claim me.
But you’re right– we all won’t be like Jesus until the work is complete. I wonder if perhaps, as his Body, each of us might display the part of him that we are best able, and that, in the humble understanding that even then we’re prone to fail. Perhaps we’d all simply be, foremost, on *his* side.
I wonder…in all the Bible talk about sin, how often are we really commanded to worry about other’s sin? Maybe if we spent more effort on our own hearts, we would have less time left to judge those of others.
Tired of seeing friends posting photos of themselves holding bags of chicken, I decided to put in my two cents worth, and listed other companies they might want to support in addition to CFA, as well as some they might want to avoid that supported gay marriage. I was quickly “corrected” that this was not about gay rights, but about the first amendment. But… all I could think about was my son and how this was going to push him further from God. Since walking away from God a few years ago, he was still facebook friends with many from church who could speak love into his life. That ended for several, because whoever posted a photo of themselves with a CFA bag or “liked” CFA, he unfriended them immediately. Right or wrong, whether they meant to or not, what they were saying – or at least what he was hearing – was that they supported a man who gives money to a company that funds the cause in Uganda to make homosexuality a crime punishable by death, and he wants no part of that.
I asked a friend (who is gay) what he would think if I walked into the office holding a CFA bag. He said he would just think I like chicken, because he knows me, but that it sure felt like a lot of people that day hated him.
I picked up a lot of stones that day. They just weighed me down, and I don’t think I’ve been able to drop them all yet. When someone you love is hurt, sometimes it’s hard to let go. But you are most definitely right – we all got it wrong.
My heart hurts for your son and for my family and friends like him who need the love of Christ and fail to see it displayed in his followers. It is hard– let’s try to let go of our stones together. Let’s come with empty hands to receive again the love of Christ so that we can be followers who display it.
I haven’t read through all of the comments, but quite a few. What I think is being left out is that Dan Kathy simply shared his view on traditional marriage and this was blown out of proporation. Freedom of speech in our country means that we should be able to express ourselves (yes, in love) and not be denied opening a business because of it. If my Muslim, Jewish or Gay friends (I’m friend’s with all three of these) wanted to open up a business but were denied because of their views, wouldn’t our country cry out in protest? If they don’t, then they should. Yes, Christians have an obligation to love at all cost, and I’m ashamed of those who chose otherwise on a Wednesday. My prayer is that God’s spirit will convict them of their lack of love.
I am a new subscriber to Deeper Story, but so often I read entries such as this that indicate all we who call ourselves Christians are doing wrong. Do you know what I saw on Wednesday? I saw picture after picture of line upon line of people supporting a business whose owner has a personal view. A personal view and belief mind you that does line up with scripture and unless I’m wrong that is something that is still protected in this country-the right to a personal opinion, belief or viewpoint. What I saw that day and in days before were slams against this man, his family and his business. They were called haters, and in one video I watched a man berated an employee for even working at such a hatefilled place, how could she sleep at night he wondered. He was treated with respect in spite of how he treated others. I did not see the things you speak of-and I feel like you took a few radical and probably people who do not really serve Christ and lumped them all to “US”. The people I know who serve Jesus as Lord and Savior went out to support one man and his country for standing up for something he believed in-they didnt carry signs they didnt curse they used their money to buy his product and make a statement. You speak about wanting people to be more like Jesus. The people I saw all day on my facebook did act like Him. They turned the tables over on the money changers.
Stacy, as someone new to this community, first and foremost welcome and we’re glad your here.
Would you consider that in this piece Tamara has carefully said, “We got it wrong on a Wednesday.”
We.
She includes herself. She includes the fact that she didn’t join the lines, didn’t support the company, and put herself in a morally superior position because of it. And in this, she admits, honestly and fully that she got it wrong, too. She thinks the people who stood in line got it wrong (so do I) but she also thinks she got it wrong with her stance. She is suggesting, implicitly, that there is a third way. There was some way of doing this standing-up-for-right-and-true-things that wasn’t expressed either in the line-standing or the profanity muttering. That’s what we got wrong. All of us. Somewhere in this tangle, we missed Jesus passing by.
This is it. Thank you, friend.
And yes, welcome, Stacy. In peace and grace and love, welcome.
Thank you, Tamara! Your words echo my own thoughts and sadness about how we treat each other. One of our writer friends (can’t remember who) said to ask “Is it love?” in how we treat each other or speak with or about each other. many hugs. -K
Yes, and me too.
Beautiful, and so well put. That we could all be more like Jesus and another Wednesday like this would never happen again…
This is why I stayed silent last week. Because if I opened my mouth (or my keyboard, as the case may be), I knew I would become she. So instead I stayed silent and worried that this made me both unsupportive and hypocritical.
We definitely got it wrong on a Wednesday.
Thanks, Tamara.
Yes and no–I agree and I don’t. I don’t think that supporting a business with your time and money to stand up for “freedom of speech” has anything to do with gay/ lesbian/ black/ white/ christian/ muslim/ jew/ male or female, dog or cat
Many people missed the point because people want to point a finger in someone else’s chest and say “there, got you!”. We make Christ so much more complicated than He is—He is the Creator, Crafter, Potter, Originator of every human being on planet earth. I don’t think {in my humblest, human opinion}, that Christ sat on His Throne that particular Wednesday and deemed anyone worthy or unworthy if they were in the line or not. It was simply voices saying, Mr. Cathy, we support your right to FREEDOM of SPEECH. Exactly what “Deeper Story” is all about….which I love quite dearly. The majority of your readers, I’m sure, have grown up in a society where having the freedom to speak our minds has never been in jeapordy and possibly even take that right for granted. This franchise owner said something not exactly popular and leaders and followers were ready to close his doors—That’s plain wrong.
Thank you for your words—All of the writers at Deeper Story pierce my soul and bless me so! Keep speaking:-)
Leann
Weren’t these the same people showing up on Wednesday that were calling for a boycott of JcPenney because they used a gay couple in an ad? He may have been expressing his freedom of speech, but the people I saw in line weren’t there for that. The ones I have seen are also the first ones calling for the closing of businesses that support homosexuality.
YES. sharing this on fb and twitter.
It was such a difficult week…. I was reluctant to post an opinion one way or the other for a couple of reasons, because a) I’m not completely sure what I believe on the whole issue, and b) because I found myself saying ‘amen’ to both sides. In fact, I literally did that — I said “amen” to the FB comment you quoted yourself on (“it’s not about chicken sandwiches, y’all”) just a few seconds after I ‘liked’ someone elses comment about supporting chick-fil-a.
The thing is, we all have our opinions, but we aren’t going to know for sure this side of heaven what “God’s will” is regarding the whole thing. And while I absolutely believe that we need to let the gay community know that God loves them, I can’t say with any certainty that it’s ok to ignore what the Bible says on the subject (and yes, I understand how the Bible has been edited over the centuries, how the cultural setting at the time influenced the original writers, etc.).
The bottom line is, I don’t know… yet I’m called to love like Jesus loved at the same time that I’m called to ‘be holy, as He is holy.” And it’s difficult. On the one hand, I want to love like Jesus did and reconcile relationships, but on the other hand, sometimes I think I sound like Rodney King saying “can’t we all just get along?”
Thanks for your honesty and vulnerability, Tamara. It is so hard to stand up for truth and love others at the same time. Makes it all the more remarkable how Jesus did it so well…..
Many will go astray and be deceived in the last days. I will continue to believe in the entire bible; the inspired word of God. No where do I read that God blessed a man and man or woman and woman marriage relationship. If it’s not in the bible then it’s not from God. And my strong convictions don’t give me the right to mistreat, bully or act out hatefully toward others. And I don’t ignore my own sin. People are succumbing to what is politically correct and not what is biblically correct.
Anne,
There are a lot of things that are “not in the bible”. Women inheriting property is not in the bible. Women owning property is not in the bible. What people should do if they’ve been sexually abused is not in the bible. Gynecology is not in the bible. Democracy and our sacred freedom of speech is not in the bible. There are many issues that are not spoken of in the bible, even issues that most of us support and view as morally correct. The bible does not have every answer or opinion to every issue.
The Holy Bible is the complete words of God, only understood by those with spiritually receptive hearts and not by human efforts or hypothetical assertions. It is the final standard or authority to human life forever. Any message by anyone outside the Holy Bible is not of God.
Actually Jaz, you can see women inheriting property in Numbers 36. I know it is not in the traditional manner of an inheritance, but the women were not denied their share of the families land.
Why is there so much anger? Why is there anger,bitterness, and name calling? I think it is because both sides have forgotten what a “calling” really looks like in the life of a Christian. God does call both sides to love, to encourage, to honor each other. But why is it that the people who feeling a strong calling to the LBGT community find it so easy to not give the same grace and love that they give to that community to those people who feel a strong calling to strengthen traditional marriage? And why is it that the people who are called to strengthen traditional marriage don’t give the encouragement to those who are called to minister and reach out to the LBGT community?
I think it’s because we have forgotten what a “calling” looks like.
The beauty of the gospel is that it is “Good News” to everyone. It can bring unity to different groups of people not because they all think and believe the same, but because they see their differences as their strength. In the secular world, the LBGT Community and traditional marriage community have to be at odds. They are opposites, there must be anger, bitterness, and name calling. But Jesus makes it possible for two different communities not just tolerate each other, but to love each other. Because it all comes down to understanding a “calling”.
What is a more beautiful picture of the gospel than Christians not just tolerating each others calling, but truly loving and respecting how different those callings are in our Christian community. Some are reaching The LBGT Community and some are reaching the traditional marriage community. But all are reaching toward Christ.
I just love this call to a radical love, a radical grace, a fuller-Jesus-picture life. Thank you.
How unfortunate. and sad. A prime example of Gandhi’s quote: “I like your Christ, I do not like your Christians. Your Christians are so unlike your Christ.”
I had an interesting disagreement as well (I’m sure we all have) with a woman from church, a peaceful agreement, but interesting as she is going through the deaconate (?sp) process with her husband and I found her view to be inconsistent with a Christian walk….but it’s not really my job to judge (even though I just did, didn’t I?) so we agreed to disagree….
Blessings!
Whoa… A great picture of your heart and mine too. I felt the same way you did at both halves of your post. Thank you. May the Spirit of God continue to mold us and teach us to be more loving.
The freedom of speech argument is an interesting one, but it assumes that an opinion should be allowed to stand without any discussion, simply because it was made first. Freedom of speech shouldn’t be treated as a “Get out of jail free card.” Things we say in a public forum have consequences. The LGBT community was also exercising their freedom of speech by disagreeing with Mr. Cathy’s comments and point of view. Which is also entirely within their rights. Mr. Cathy has every right to support traditional marriage, and the LGBT community has equal rights to disagree.
I’m late to the conversation – not because I didn’t read but because until tonight I didn’t have the words – and even now I won’t use my own. Thank you for your honesty. Thank you for writing this. It’s such a hard call when on both sides of an issue all of us so blatantly and forcefully disobey the words from John 17. So I’ll end with this “Love is not a Victory March – it’s a cold and it’s a broken Hallelujah”
Amen, sister. Amen. I have searched for two weeks to describe my sadness over this CFA incident, and you’ve characterized perfectly what has been weighing heavily on my heart. It was sickening to see some of my friends wrap themselves so smugly in the flag of their faith, all while acting so far from anything Christ-like. They were caught up in the “goodness” of their behavior and completely lost the perspective to see the injustice of their actions. You are right that these short-sighted believers need our prayers.
I think it’s hard to know how to express God’s holiness, hard to let situations go by without a remark – not because of religion – but because our culture is one of debate, discourse, discussion, opinions, and free speech. It isn’t just churches that have promoted using a loud voice to stand up for what you believe… it’s an American thing. The combination leads to some public situations that makes one wince… but I can’t judge those people and what’s in their hearts are any more than I can judge those participating in the Kiss in. We judge or we don’t. I understand that everyone is on a journey and I’m certainly not God’s finished work.. in 10 years I’ll be embarrassed by things I’ll say and do today. I know I’m embarrassed by things I did and said 10 years ago. So, Wednesday was someone else’s “10 years ago”.
In order to judge the “self righteous,” we need to move into the position of self righteousness ourselves. If judging sinners is wrong, and self righteousness is a sin… you see where I’m going. Hey, I’ve been there and done that. But, if we believe that showing God’s love is being kind and respectful especially when we don’t agree with someone – why can’t we see that our inability to offer that to those that got it “wrong” on a Wednesday is no different than the Wednesday wrongdoers.
It’s harder than it looks, people. this walk is harder than it looks and it sometimes takes more than an entire lifetime to get it sorted out.
Perhaps what I saw was the exception rather than the rule, but I didn’t come into contact with this kind of bigotry. Just peaceful, friendly support for Chick-fil-A and free speech. Am I friends with the wrong people on Facebook?
My problem with this day is that it became another day, like Easter and Christmas, when Christians came out to show what they believed in. Chick-fil-A has every right to express their opinion on the matter of marriage, but the message was turned into an us vs. them event.
Many people confuse the love of Jesus with an acceptance of everyone’s personal beliefs and problems, but it also gets carried to the place of clubbing those who disagree with our beliefs.
It was a sad day for all