Dear Reader,
Your question – the one about church and “why go?” – has stayed suspended in my molecular space and will not leave for the life of me.
And I’ve been ruminating, rolling the query over and around.
Now it sits, just there, a small burden in my belly.
Because the thing is, I don’t believe that all Christians should go to church, but I absolutely believe, from every angle of my feeble heart, that all Christians need to do Church.
***
I have not had a wounding experience from the church to speak of, no fracture lines that read “religious institution”. For another reason altogether, I have not {regularly} lighted the threshold of formalized church in over a decade . . .
There was this stirring fire inside me, a need to unearth, explore and just see if there was a cathedral of worship outside the walls of church and steeple, if there was a Christ-meets-personal-expression that had my God-given name on it. Because it wasn’t for cynicism or frustration or disillusionment that I walked away and stayed away, it was a Divine calling to be who I was made to be and manifest Church in the way I was born for.
{I am utterly convinced that this globe needs me to be who I am and sometimes that means not necessarily following tradition.}
So I committed, with my man, to a small village of exquisite people and we traversed our way through the new and the foreign, we tried and we failed and we became different people and broke no one but ourselves through the process of error and redemption. We were a hot mess of humanity that kept doing church (whatever the hell it meant) because we valued perseverance and somehow knew that we were onto something that touched the heart of Heaven.
And, do you know what? Ten years we have pressed into who we are as a people of God and it was worth every moment of struggle and triumph to discover together {what felt like} uncharted relationship territory, discover a place of knowing God that was designed just right for us.
It’s all very simple, really . . . We practice Lectio Divina and share silences and break His bread. We pray hard on our knees and hold each other to cry and garden with our neighbors and serve soup to the poor. We make meal plans for new mama’s and pay each other’s utility bills when jobs are lost and form big decisions through communal conversation. We love to dance our hearts out and raise our glasses and celebrate real loud.
We’re together – with intention – through life’s most important moments and we call it church.
Is it still a given that all believers should walk through the double-doors to find God and fellowship? Because I have given up on”given s” and “should s” to ask questions and listen to the story of Christ as He wants to reveal it through our lives and I believe that there are as many colorful-Christ-expressions of Church as there are believers in the Body and if we all do the same things because it’s what has always been done, we could sell ourselves short of who we were created to be and what we were created to do.
This is not about one way of church being “right” and the other way being “wrong”, it’s about You composing Church from your heart – whether that’s within an established building or with resonate relationships on your front porch.
Dear Reader, only Abba knows your heart, but I can’t help but wonder if the rub you feel, the place inside you that lifts this question, is actually a medium to launch your personal quest into what church looks like for you, your family and possibly a few friends?
I don’t know if I have the authority to say this to you or anyone else (grain of salt please) . . .
Be permission-ed not to go to church.
Explore.
Fly.
Wonder.
Dance around the Cross with your own creativity.
Ask God what church looks like for your family.
But for your sake, for Christ’s sake, don’t be independent.
***
{ 58 comments… read them below or add one }
Erika,
you touch on the heart of the church, and that is community of a body of believers. i see how that can be walked out in various ways and styles. the important aspect being: don’t forsake the regular fellowship with other believers. just because man has made something distasteful for many doesn’t mean we forsake the biblical idea behind the origin of it, eh? it just challenges us to find a different way to express that. and it sounds like you’ve found a way that fits you perfectly
steph
Good Morning Steph!
Thank-you for your thoughts and encouragement here AND over at my place . . .
Love You,
Erika
But that does sound like Church to me. I’m the person who falls into the category that “going Church” simply means that Christian should meet together regularly to refresh themselves to go out and pour out what they were filled with.
Exactly.
Thank-you, Dalia, for being present with me.
Love,
Erika
All the way through I was trying to quiet the voice in my head screaming to be CAREFUL because we can’t go out on our own and are you sure you haven’t forgotten to “not forsake the gathering” and then I read your last line.
“But for your sake, for Christ’s sake, don’t be independent.”
My apologies for reading your post through the glasses of my fears. I’ve known a lot of people who’ve given off attending church because they’re not spiritual enough, and who become isolated, judgmental, as their faith sickens and twists into something else. But that is not what you’re talking about. It sounds, in the few words here, like you’ve found much more church than most of us ever find in walking in those traditional doors.
And I’ll try to read first, all the way to the end, before formulating answers in my head.
I’m glad you read all the way through! It definitely has a “wait for it . . . ” ending.
Thanks so much, Heather, for sharing yourself with me.
Love,
Erika
I love this. And I love to hear that “I’m not the only one”. I haven’t been wounded by the institution either. But my friends and I have been meeting in each others homes for the last 6 years. We share a meal together every week, and we share our hearts. We pray together. We cry together. We rejoice together.
But you know.. sometimes church happens, not during that established meeting; sometimes it happens in the middle of the week when we get together to exercise, and we end up walking 5 miles instead of the 2 we intended because we just can’t stop talking about the things God is doing in and how He’s changing us. Sometimes church happens when I skype with my best friend who’s going to school in Guatemala. “Church” can happen whenever two or more are gathered in HIS name.
Why yes, Ms. Bekah. Exactly that.
Thank-you for sharing this small window into your church. Beautiful.
Love You,
Erika
Thank you for sharing…I’ve definitely been the receiver of a few concerned comments in stopping the “habit” of going to church every sunday. It’s so hard to share with people what God is doing in my life when they assume I don’t have a strong relationship because I stopped going to church…and instead am focussing on being the church.
Jenn, I loved your response. My husband and I haven’t been in church much in the last 2 years after our church ended. I have never stopped loving God with all my being… I’m just not in a traditional gathering. I keep hearing people talk about church, being in church, attending church, etc, etc… but I am the church. You are the church. We are the church. It’s not about attending a place. It’s about being what I am. I so get your words!!!
Exactly, I have nothing agains traditional churches, I’ve always enjoyed going to church but it because a distraction to me. It made it easy for me to live complacently because I felt like I was doing something, while all I was doing was walking through the doors on Sunday.
Blessings to you, Jenn, as you continue to walk in who you are with Christ . . .
And grace to you as you communicate that to the people around you . . .
Love,
Erika
I believe this is one of the most beautiful pieces I have read here. Maybe because I am living what you are writing…. yet you spoke it so beautifully my heart. I was in the walls of a church building for weeks after my birth to days before my 52nd birthday. The church we were attending shut down… It was honestly a sigh of relief to our weary hearts. We’ve tried visiting some churches but it’s just not there for us. We want so much more than a meeting where rituals are acknowledged and participated in. We want heart to heart connections, a shared life. We’ve been home now for almost 2 years. We’ve become more deeply in love with our God. We still long for those deep heart felt connecting relationships where you can break bread, share the joy of meeting each other’s needs, laughing, praying, crying, living together. One day we pray they will come. I loved this post… and am so glad that you wrote it. Though I left “church” in a building… I have not left God. Just because a person isn’t in a church meeting doesn’t mean they have forsakened their faith. I am not backslidden. I am following the God I love with all of my being… finding my place more deeply in His heart. Thanks for this!
Your compliment . . . Julie, thank-you for your kindness. And you have my prayers as you and your husband adventure together into what church looks like for you.
Love,
Erika
erika, i think you are going to/doing/being church. it’s not about a building or sundays or an ordained pastor, but it is about being community of worshippers who live, love, learn, serve, and honor God together.
your community’s intentionality reminds me of the early church in acts, which is largely absent from the “i don’t go to church/i hate the church/i don’t need the church” conversations. we do need to be the church 7 days a week, but we can’t leave what’s broken without creating something else that’s tangible and still be obedient to God’s call to share his love in intentional, worshipping community.
Yes. Exactly what you said. Thank-you for your thoughts and encouragement, Susannah.
Much Love,
Erika
also, you are a fine writer–i neglected to mention that! (and i love lectio divina.)
have you ever read The Shaping of Things To Come? it’s somehow academic and practical at the same time, with a premise about what it looks like to truly BE the Church in a postmodern context (which is similar in many ways to the premodern context of the early church). i loved it and thought you might, too.
Oh, thank-you, Suzannah!
I will definitely check out that book too! Thanks!
Love,
Erika
Erika, this is beautiful. So beautiful. I’m so glad I took the time to read this before I jetted out for our day today. Be blessed. Sarah
Thank-you Sarah. Your response blessed me so . . .
Love,
Erika
As much as I am screaming “Yes, Lord!” to all you are saying here, God is screamspering (that’s a scream at whisper volume) something new to me. Those of us longing for the old church in our new way of living have something tremendous to offer those wandering around in the churches who’ve lost the heart of what doing church is meant to be. I’m not saying we ditch the Divine appointments going on outside those four walls, but I’ve got a heart full of prompting to not leave the people inside them shut out from this passion we have to truly be the church.
That is so great Victoria. You GO girl!
I love how we all “represent” differently – completing this interlocking circle of contribution . . .
Love,
Erika
You just opened up my heart and splashed it on a screen this morning. Loved this piece, Erika. You are such a gift.
agree <3
Thanks Barb! <3
Love,
Erika
It blesses me, Nish, to have you say so. Thank-you, lovely lady . . .
Love You,
Erika
I really appreciate and love what you wrote. As someone who lives in what is described as “the bible belt” I am tired of being asked by people I hardly know what church do I go to, told I should go to their church, and looked down on when I say I don’t go to one. I truly believe that the church is in us. Please don’t look down on those that do not go to a church building. It does not mean we do not believe, it does not mean we do not pray and it does not mean we will not go to heaven. Phew, that felt good!
Thanks again for writing this!
I’m glad you got that out!
Thanks for being here, Stephanie . . .
Love,
Erika
I to am a part of an intentional community vs. a traditional church. It is a lot of hard work, but I’ve never felt so safe, so loved, so accepted in my life. I am able to be just who I am and that is enough and I can share my own unique talents while getting to be a part of everyone else’s too. No one is a spectator, no one is more gifted than anyone else.
And this seems to be a growing expression of the church, particularly in my neck of the woods (portland, Or), so thank you for bringing more light to this lesser known way of being Christ’s hands and feet.
I LOVED the way you articulated that first paragraph, it resonates exactly with my heart.
Thank-you so much for being here . . .
Love,
Erika
Erika,
Your words almost always echo the jumbled, not so eloquent, thoughts in my mind. I love to read and think, YES, YES! Your written expression is refreshing and life changing. Thank you for being you and for living such a transparent and vulnerable life that the Lord uses so beautifully to bless the rest of us.
The issue of church attendance is a relevent one for our family also as we can’t seem to find a ‘home’ that doesn’t feel entertain-y or quite honestly, although always intentionally good, actually distracting. (If that makes any sense – told ya my thoughts are quite jumbly.) I talked briefly to another couple a few months ago about the desire for a more (I hesitate to use the accurate but somewhat trendy word ‘organic’) simple example of church. Of simply loving God and loving others – together. Their hearts understood…
I’m going to go make that call. Thanks!
I LOVE your “jumbly” thoughts!
And, “simple” is one of my favorite words to use as a lens for defining church.
Thank-you, dear one, for your kindness to me. You have my prayers as you continue your exploration into the heart of God.
Love,
Erika
this is beautiful and puts into words my feelings about church (traditional) -vs- church (meaningful, intentional, Him living in our hearts) in a way i’ve never been able to.
Thank-you Amanda . . .
Love,
Erika
This post resonated deeply with me, and yet there is a part of me that doesn’t know how to make the leap (because I do think, in my particular faith community, it would be a leap) from a more “traditional” church to more of a “community” of sorts. In addition, there are so many “traditional” churches out there that are acting as the hands and feet of Jesus that I hate to forgo the traditional model entirely. All I know is that for me, our Sunday morning church services have become such a heavy burden, and I long for the peace and joy you’ve described here. I firmly believe, like you do, that church is far more a doing thing than a going-to thing, and I wish so desperately I knew what the church should be like for me and my husband.
“…I can’t help but wonder if the rub you feel, the place inside you that lifts this question, is actually a medium to launch your personal quest into what church looks like for you, your family and possibly a few friends?”
This is where, I know, the prayers must begin. Because Sundays are hard and my heart is becoming heavy, I realize something must change. Thank you for honesty, for sharing a bit of your story with all of us. These words are tumbling inside of me, and I suspect will be for a while (and I mean that in the best of ways).
Oh, I hear you Annie . . . My deepest prayers are with you and your husband as you wrestle with the stirrings inside your hearts and spirits.
Thank-you for sharing with me.
Love,
Erika
Wow, to have such a community. That is a gift. If only the Church would always be so.
Yes, a gift. I hold it tenderly to be sure.
Love,
Erika
My wife and I have recently left our church of ten years and are now searching for a church we might never find. We have often talked of communal living…bu trying to find likeminded people in our small town is unlikely…sigh.
Blessings to you and your wife, David, as you search and sift.
Thank-you for being here.
Love,
Erika
I have so many problems with this post, but I also see so much goodness & truth to it. It seems very conflicting and I’m confused on a few things.
“Dance around the Cross with your own creativity.” – what does that even mean? Dance around the gospel? Dance around the place where our Savior was crucified because of our wretched sin? I am baffled by this statement.
“We practice Lectio Divina and share silences and break His bread.” – that is traditional and biblical, but is also what you would find at a traditional church. Again, I’m confused at the point you’re trying to make.
“fly, wonder, etc” – this is not biblical and is the same danger/dancing with the devil as church hopping for years or deciding that you can just listen to sermons in the comfort of your own home and not be a part of a local body. the church universal and the church local are two super important aspects of the gospel, and i feel like you’re missing it.
“But for your sake, for Christ’s sake, don’t be independent.” -You say ” don’t be independent,” and yet that is exactly what you are encouraging here. Don’t go to church. Do it on your own with a group of your friends. The Bible clearly states over and over to BE the body of Christ, and I believe that that context means go to church…not just hang out with people you like.
On the other hand, I think you are absolutely 100% correct in hinting at the fact that “church” doesn’t mean a building, but a real, rich, deep community of believers living out the gospel. Doing church should be more important than going to church, yes, but I feel like this post will allow people an eloquent excuse to “cop out” on going to church and being a part of a gospel community..and instead be free to wander and explore, which can be super dangerous.
I feel like there is much said in this post that is solid and I am not trying to knock you down…just wanted your thoughts on the things I was confused on.
Hi Kim,
Thank-you for taking the time to read my thoughts today.
Wow. I’m not sure where to start! Or, even if I should? Maybe what I shared just doesn’t resonate with you, and that’s ok . . .
To give a full and fruitful response to your questions would take a bit more time and I’m willing to engage with you in this conversation if you don’t mind a little wait?
Love,
Erika
It is good to discuss and roll around thoughts. It has been a source of peace for me recently. There are indeed many definitions of the word ‘dance’. To skirt around or play with truth is indeed dangerous and irreverent. To dance in celebration and joy is a reflection of freedom that is ours because of the resurrection victory. That’s what dancing around the cross means to me. And to fly and wonder and explore are indeed new feelings that are stirring in my heart as I open that heart to the Holy Creator Himself…His magnificent creativity in people and creation…leave me speechless and unable or unwilling to place God in a box. He is just too big. I want so much to explore Him and discover myself in Him. Community is indeed a big deal to God, but I think the creativity He used in creating each of us individually will naturally result in creative ways of congregating with others as we DO church. The gospel is not weakened because of differences unless our pride gets in the way and we view ‘our’ way of doing church as better than ‘their’ way. Therein lies the devil’s plan to divide and isolate us. How much better to dwell on the greatest commandments…to love God with all our heart, soul, mind, and strength and to love others as ourselves…
I couldn’t have said it better.
Thank-you, Barb.
Love,
Erika
I’m not sure that it’s the fact that didn’t resonate with me, but if it’s the fact that most of what you’re saying isn’t biblical. This post simply concerned me for people in limbo of committing to a church body. Feel free to email me so we can continue chatting
lol. Um, yeah you most definitely could have. I just read my post and indeed wrote indeed many times. haha. I’ll just continue to live vicariously through your most eloquent musings. Keep it up, girl.
“Indeed” is one of my new favorite words.
it depends on what church is intended to be. having a clear purpose in mind, and praying about it, will help God’s kids envision the best way to accomplish it.
Hi Steve,
Thank-you for stopping by and sharing your thoughts.
Erika
Thank you for the post. You expressed so much more eloquently than I can what I have been feeling for the past few years. I still go to a Sunday morning church service on occasion, but I find it to be the least fulfilling form of church for me.
I like what you said about this not being about one group doing it ‘right’ and the other doing it ‘wrong,’ and also the warning against isolating oneself. Thanks for sharing!
Jeremy,
Thank-you for such a fine compliment and for taking time to read and respond.
Erika
Erika, I am coming in late to this conversation, but I loved, loved, loved how you wrote this piece. It was beautiful– just really honest and artfully spoken. I appreciated how you painted a picture, which IS your REALITY, about what church could look like– a transforming kind-of body with many parts, living in Community, feasting on the stuff of Jesus and the Word and what really matters.
Thanks for reminding us that “going” and “doing” church can be two very different things.
And I, too, SO appreciated your last sentence–
Thanks!
Hi Friend!
Thank-you so much, Laura, for loving on me with your thoughts.
Love,
Erika
P.S. I’ve been thinking about you and hoping that your settling back in okay and that your transitions were smooth . . . <3
Hi, Erika——–really enjoyed your thoughts on “church”–been thinking similar thoughts with my hubby, and although we go to the same church we have for a long time, we wonder about the set-up as being counter-productive in many ways…..but we also hate to step away from brothers and sisters who attend there, and whom we have know forever! So we are feeling it out…………….Bless you and your sweet family!
Thank-you dear Joanna . . .
So many blessings to you as well.
Love,
Erika
Oh, thank you thank you thank you for this… Needed a response like this… So prayerfully and beautifully thought out and written… Permission to be ME… that has been a huge challenge since I’ve become a Christian!
Hello dear.
Glad it spoke to your heart.
Love you much,
Erika
Amen.